Exclusion

[RunkidsKID]

My GD goes to an alternative education provision as she struggles in main stream school. Possible ADHD. She has been excluded for five days and I don't really believe in double punishment but should I be letting her go out in the evenings?

No one can tell you how to parent your GD. In my experience if I got in trouble at school, I got in trouble at home. It didn’t do me any harm as an adult (admittedly I don’t have ADHD).I think children need to learn there are consequences to their actions, and by not addressing it, it can enable poor behaviour. So if I was in your position, no I would not be letting them go out with friends in the evening. If you suspect that they have ADHD try and get them tested ASAP. If they do have it they can be given medication and you both can get support on how to deal with the condition. The school will also be more understanding to their behaviour.

What does she do during the day? If she sleeps in and relaxes then goes out in the evenings, the exclusion could seem like a reward/holiday so i probably wouldn't allow going out in the evening.
Agree about getting her assessed. Are her parents around? If not could her acting up be connected to that and she needs some sort of counselling?

No you shouldn't, unless perhaps to an organised structured activity that you think benefits her or would be letting others down.
So maybe yes to netball squad or air cadets, but no to the cinema.

I'm always a bit about exclusions as a severe punishment because if somebody "punished" me by giving me a week of work I'd be delighted. I think for it to work, the parent needs to be fully on board and make it a tough week. Home learning in the morning, chores in the afternoon, early to bed. Etc.
However, if your GD has possible ADHD this could change things a bit, maybe spend more time talking, doing stuff together and trying to work out why she does things and how you can avoid them. I still wouldn't be letting her go out and about on her own though, no.... she needs to know this is a serious consequence.

So she’s already in alternative provision and they have excluded her for five days? That
Spells big trouble in my view. This provision is already instead of mainstream school with a much higher staffing ratio so I would try and access help immediately. What tests has she had? Has she seen an EdPsych? She obviously needs more than punishment and you need to get help in order to address her needs. Further punishment won’t help I would imagine. You need a better strategy to see improvement.

I don't think punishment for it's own sake will be helpful but I would want to look into why she was excluded - what caused the behaviour?