What else can I do to help my child learn?

[lostlondoner]

Inspired by the grammar school/tutoring thread currently going on!
What things are good for parents to do at home with their kids to naturally help their intelligence and learning?
I got:
Reading to them
Reading with them
Asking questions about the stories they are reading
Making up creative stories with them
Taking them out to different places and seeing different things
Talking to them about different subjects - why things are, how things work etc
Putting maths into real life
Learning a musical instrument
Playing sports
Getting out into nature/climbing trees/taking risks
What else!!

cooking and baking (can help with counting and numbers since you are weighing and measuring, plus it is a good life skill)
general life skills like sorting laundry (all colours in one pile, whites in another, blacks in another, it can be made into a game)

Mine are 11 and 9, and I tutored my own dd to pass the 11+ with a 90%+pass rate. However, it's worth dissociating 11+ vs what I think you'd rather and that is intelligence and learning.

First on my list is TRAVEL. I know it's super expensive and is a luxury. My kids will never forget Botera having seen his works near Bogata, Columbia. Will remember Hans Christian Andersen's hometown and life story in Denmark. Know how Isaac Newton discovered splitting light in his bedroom in Woolthorpe.

There's reading and there's reading comprehension. The latter is harder work on the parent. Are you going through vocab, alternative vocab, context, recall as well as prediction on what's going to happen next in the story? Do you get them to use a dictionary? Do you get them to write unknown words down and then you revisit these same words in your own conversations with your kids? You could read just 2 pages together but spend 10/15 minutes going through comprehension, without the need to fast forward anymore in the story and it's this that makes a massive difference to learning. Obviously not all the time as you'd want to get on with the story but having had a long conversation with a SEN specialist (friend of mine), I have completed changed the way I read with my kids and the difference is remarkable, especially for my youngest who's a boy and has always struggled. Within 9months, he went from middle to bottom set to now top set in English.

I focus hugely on mental maths, conversions, that kind of thing but I'm confident with Maths having studied it at Uni. However, there's loads on YouTube so you don't really need to be an expert needs these days!

Coding like Scratch and back to maths, multi-step maths questions helps.

For me, it's not so much quantity but quality. It's about stretch and sometimes being outside the comfort zone and introducing topics from sources of material such as National Geographic, First News, watching documentaries like Cosmos: Space Time Odessy and visiting places like Bletchley Park.

Every Sunday morning breakfast time, we all sit reading broadsheet newspapers in the lounge. Even mine as young as 8 started to read excerpts of the Times/Independent. They weren't able to understand it all but as it was relevant and newsworthy, we could then follow-up on YouTube or the Sky News to learn more.

I think, in my own personal opinion, what needs to be encouraged is a thirst and enjoyment for learning and building that cultural capita as well as building foundational building. I have a Masters degree in Chemistry and work alongside some pretty genius people at work (one of the founding fathers of an internet protocol, inventors with their own ip, NASA people) so I'm always quizzing them on how they raise their kids. LOL.

We don't live in a grammar school area so don't need to worry about tutoring. We do however live in a very disadvantaged area so I try and expose Dd to things that t might be available to her in a more affluent area.

DD enjoys getting First News the children's newspaper. Any technical language is explained and the stories are presented in a very child friendly way. DD will often come up to me with a `did you know..... ' and share interesting things she has found out. It has also led to lots of topical discussions and her teacher commented at parents evening that she 'knew' a lot.

Dds preferred TV is Horrible histories, the Who was? Show on Netflix is also good for highlighting important historical people.

She used to do dance and drama but gave it up in order to train more seriously in her chosen sport. I think drama and the ability to speak in public is important.

I try to give her different experiences, we go to the theatre alot, take advantage of free activities in the local area, go to London once a year both for visiting touristy areas but also to show her how diverse and multicultural our country can be . We live in an area that is 99% Caucasian with a majority far right outlook and I want her to grow up to be accepting of people's differences.

This is AMAZING! Thanks for all the responses so far.
Just dealing with my preschooler right now but will reply more in a bit x

I’m proud to say Ive never owned a flash card in my life. Neither of my childten learnt to read or write before yr 2 (the older one) yr 1 the younger one. The younger one never went to nursery and started school in years 1 he had health problems when he was younger and didn’t want to go to reception. He lived a largely outdoor life we had a pony he climbed trees got muddy and had fun. From about 18 months old he liked numbers he taught himself to add and subtract, he also loved drawing my mother was an artist and we encouraged him to draw and paint, he could write his name when he went to school. He’s also always been mad about what we would call history of art do has spent much of his life in art galleries from an early age. When he went to school they were stunned he couldn’t read and write at all but by Xmas he was top of the class for both math and literacy. He changed schools 1/2 way through yr 2 in yr 6 he was offered places at two of the most selective schools in the UK one very very over subscribed one told us how very articulate he was and they liked his ability to formulate an argument and did very well in his entrance exam in yr 8 we have only ever tutored him for Latin in Yr 8 because his prep school were not teaching him anything. He got top grades in yr 13 and is now at a top 20 RG university.
The older one went into year 2 not being able to read or write again by Xmas he could read as well as 1/2 the class by the end of year 2 he could read as well as all the class he is now a prodigious reader. His maths is poor but he has severe dyscalculia and his writing is also poor but he has severe dyspraxia/processing problems. He has had 4 Ed psych assessment during his time at school starting late has not caused this or made any difference in fact some say it might have helped he was more mature. My DH is an opera nut and my mother lived all classical music and could sing she would sing with my DS2 and took him to things like the Mikado because he had always lived music and shown an interest in it. He hated music at prep but he has now self taught himself three instrument and is very keen on music theory again totally self taught. He struggled through uni but no surprise with his profile but had now found a career which he loves and is good at. Ultimately isn’t that what we as parents want.
Many people comment on how articulate my DS’s are and how interested and knowledgable they are about politics general knowledge etc. A very pushy friend once marvelled at how chilled out we are, and that we are not obsessively focused on education/tutoring. Another friend many years ago when my DS’s were about 3 and 4 once wrote me a letter saying I was a slack parent because I didn’t have flash cards or times tables to music or educational toys like junior scrabble and that I was doing them a disservice:

I wanted my children to be children to enjoy their early years and play and have fun because I believe that’s what turns us into well adjusted adults.
The only thing I’ve ever insisted on was from an early age is that they learn to swim and ride a bike.
My message chill out let your children be children for as long as you can talk to them, do things with them, but nothing IMO needs to be too formal. We have our whole working lives to work our nuts off.

Echo previous poster. Flash cards I never used or even bought a set. It's about incorporating a lifestyle. Travel, visiting museums, going to recitals, theatre and ballet. Reading papers on a Sunday.. I am learning the violin and I have the same tutor tutor my son straight after me. I bring my kids so they can see the shiny offices in the City and we look at architecture, influences, and we talk about the corporate world. Unfortunately, all of this costs money and accessing these can be hard. Home practice books from WHSmith cost money. But some things are quick ..such as mental maths whilst you are in a shop of how much change is expected. These kind of things I do without thinking. I just bring my child along and make him or her do the same mental maths too! It's really about incorporating it into the everyday so it doesn't feel like arduous learning. It's a lifestyle.

I hear what you are saying 👍🏻 and yes this is what I'm trying to get at in my post - how best to expose my children to different life experiences, ask the right questions so that they discover what they enjoy/are good at, and naturally help them to get on in life, as opposed to flash cards, structured tutoring etc.

I think it was a lightbulb for me when my son's teacher said it's good to ask questions when they are reading as well as just help them read - tiny extras to help my kids.

Plus I already am an advocate of learning through doing so we try to go see different places, get outdoors as much as possible. (Also things that don't need to cost money)

I'm finding it all a completely different world to navigate from when I was small. No tutoring, no pressure. We're in the SE so competitive parent zone and I know tutoring is normal here. It's already making me feel rather queasy. And tbh I'm a bit scared! (We May move completely away but that's another story and I'm sure there will be education dramas wherever we go)

I basically just want my kids to enjoy their childhood as kids but make sure I'm also being active and engaged at home with them too. Maybe I'm already doing that and that's reassuring too.

I agree with all those suggestions.
My kids didn’t get into grammar. We live in a super selective grammar area where kids are being tutored from reception and I didn’t want that for them. I did however get workbooks for anything they needed extra help with. One dc has trouble with fractions and one with learning times tables so a bit of extra focus on that helped.
I also responded to what they were interested in so we read a million books about dinosaurs, carnivores and tornados.

I did and do a lot of the things others have suggested and they’re doing really well at school and are good at thinking analytically and problem solving and have a genuine interest in the world around them.
I take my kids anywhere I’m interested in so we’ve travelled quite a bit and had lots of day trips.
Also ;
Let them play and do crafts
Go to museums and galleries and see exhibitions
Theatre
Read and listen to podcasts. Yes to newspapers and podcasts are great for long drives.
Watch documentaries. They loved things like horrible histories and Steve Backshall and now watch more ‘grown up’ ones.
Doing chores
They enjoy all that stuff (apart from chores) and they also do plenty of hanging out with friends, bike rides, Xbox and tv/cinema.

I know what you mean. I was speaking to colleagues who was went through their schooling in Silicon Valley and his friends were children of founding fathers of computing, internet, life and data sciences whose parents had material impact and global impact .Think as big and rich as Bill Gates. They all go to these private selective schools and it's a real eye opener on what is taught there. Nothing like your average curriculum at your primary school.

Where I work you need to pass 9 interviews and assessments. We hire the brightest, smartest and confident grads. we pay big big bucks to attract them. What they and we have all in common is a an earnest love of learning. When they pick up on a new topic or concept could be even a philosophical topic completely unrelated to work, they will run with it and come back with deep read knowledge within days , their research is thorough.Their critical thinking and problem solving is grade A and they are importantly... agile. If the pressure is to be in with a chance to get these top opportunities and jobs well then the pressure somewhat justifies it. If that's not of interest then, just learn for the love of learning and let them be!

Something for children to do completely by themselves? Choose and learn a language/languages with Duolingo. It's effortless, totally addictive and doesn't cost anything.

Depending on the language there are opportunities to meet others doing the same language/es and who knows what it might lead to in the future. Could link it with travel.

I get bi-monthly science subscription boxes for my kids, partly because they are a fun thing to do with them, and partly to get them excited about how the world works / science. The cheaper option would be to get a book of ideas and set up your own experiments but that takes more time than I currently have.

My parents did stuff with me without me really feeling that they were trying. My mum worked nights so at the weekend, me and my dad had to be out of the house as she was sleeping - we went to A LOT of museums.

My dad did lots of explaining to me how stuff worked, checking I understood - it made me really excited about learning. It then spirals - when you have been to the butterfly park, you end up with the poster about butterfly species and learning all about butterflies and so on.

DH grew up about half an hour away from me, he hasn't been to a single one of the museums, wildlife parks etc that I've been too. I asked him to name 5 species of plants in our garden - he got to 3, and that was including grass FFS.

For what it's worth, we both went to v similar private schools but they only provide so much cultural capital despite that. The experience I got from my parents is totally different from his, and mine had no idea they were even parenting.

I chose to teach dd. I enjoyed teaching and she enjoyed learning. It was balanced with lots of other things; days out, mums and toddler groups, CBeebies, etc.

| taught her to read and quite a bit of maths before she started school. I do think education makes at difference and will make a difference at any age.

Some people chose to teach their children and some prefer to leave all the teaching to school.

Very interesting thread as I've been thinking about a lot of these ideas lately. DS is young for his age (11) and he doesn't do all of the same online / phone stuff that a lot of his contemporaries are into.

CookieDoughKid - really interested to read about education in Silicon Valley. How would you describe it?

Model learning, in particukar making mistakes and trying again yourself. Praise the process of learning not the end result as well. Its always good to learn something together that you arent naturally good at. I dont mean learn a whole new language - just small stuff like have a go at table tennis and take on board some instruction and then practice what you were shown. Its grwat showing kids stuff you can do and telling them things you know, but learning to learn is important too.

I think setting an example by reading for pleasure yourself. Having books around the house. Encouraging their particular interests rather than pushing them in a particular direction. Have interesting discussions and valuing their point of view. Don't be tempted to teach your child what they'll learn in school but earlier (this can make parents feel good as their child is "ahead" but it has no benefit to their education long term) but by all means expand on what they're learning and encourage greater depth of understanding and a broader understanding of it's applications.

One of the most important skills to learn is problem solving and this is something which isn't particularly well covered in UK schools - especially early on. The "problem" should be difficult but within the reach of your child, if they need help put stepping stones in place but don't give answers. For example help by asking questions rather than providing answers. e.g. "hmm I don't know how to figure out X yet but could we work out Y?".