Did you have an assisted place?

[Thisissamhot]

I was the lucky/unlucky recipient of one of the first assisted places in the early 1980s.

I keep reading on here that kids don't care about your social background and that kids on substantial bursaries will be just fine in private schools.

Maybe things have changed in the past 35 years, but this wasn't my experience. It was pretty painful at times. I did have some lovely friends who I'm still in touch with, but the experience has left its marks. Even as an objectively very successful middle-aged adult, I constantly feel that I'm trying to prove myself.

I'm even fairly sure that I would have fared better academically in a comp. I did not reach my potential - I scraped into a Russell Group University (wasn't called that at the time!) where I then took off academically, coming top in my year. I really should have done better at school. I have now seen research suggesting that this was a common outcome for assisted place kids - they underperformed substantially.

But, I'm just one person, and this was just one (pretty poor) school. I'd love to hear others' experiences.

bump

I had an assisted place from 1988 and I’m really grateful that I did. I also then got a half fees scholarship for sixth form, went to a RG uni to read classics and have done well in my professional life. My parents had a huge loan out for my schools fees but always told me that it was the right thing for me and I have to say that I agree. I do agree with you though about trying to prove myself in adult life, but I think that’s more because I want to make my parents feel that their sacrifice was worth it (we are very close so I believe they’d say 100% it was and that they are totally proud of me so this isn’t from pressure coming down from them).

Re attainment of children with assisted places, personally I came out with great grades and loved the challenge at school where I was usually top or near to top of the class. Yes some of the girls were right snobs and I have only kept in touch with two of them since school but I was never bullied or left out for having the wrong background.

Sorry if this doesn’t help!

I had an assisted place in the 90s. I was again grateful for the opportunity and did well. Around 50 pc of my school year was on one so I never really felt out of place in school. However I did feel out of place in my home town in general. I was from a very working class background in quite a rough town but going to a fancy school.
I would say I was always very anxious that the government was going to take the place away. Even though my family were traditional Labour voters they wouldn't vote Labour, while I was at school because it would mean the end of assisted places.

I understand this. I started on a full Assisted Place alongside full bursary for travel, meals and uniform in 1981. I did well academically but I can’t say I loved secondary school and I wasn’t able to fully participate in school trips etc. I’m fairly introverted anyway and I don’t think it helped self confidence. All the feelings were self imposed though - none of the children were ever mean but they were all just very wealthy in comparison. However at a time when the local London state schools were struggling I was lucky enough to have a great education and it definitely made a difference in terms of aspiration at the time.

I went to a direct grant grammar school-in effect a private school where 25% of the places went to us "scholarship girls" who passed the 11+, then the entrance exam, then the scholarship exam and finally the interview with the quite frankly terrifying head mistress! It was always obvious which were the scholarship girls, the rest went off skiing whilst we went to Blackpool! But academically I did reasonably well, the assumption was that everyone would stay on into 6th form and then on to a RG university and pretty much everyone did ( just one in my year group rebelled and got a job-the scandal!) My parents had to save for the ludicrously expensive uniform ( much of which I got second hand) but they were very proud of having two "scholarship girls" ( my sister too!) in the family!

I was at a school that offered assisted places.
I knew a couple of people who were on assisted places, and there must have been more who I never knew as I know how many were offered.
The two I knew it only came up because they also got a uniform grant and I went with them to get some stuff from the uniform shop.
Both of them went off to unis that would now be called Russell group and have done very well.
They almost certainly wouldn't have done as well in the local comp, as they hardly sent anyone off to university, and even A-levels were unusual.

But, as I said, I have absolutely no idea who any of the others were. Maybe they felt they stood out, but they certainly didn't from where I was.

I didn't have an AP but one of my best friends (still in touch now) did. I can't speak for her feelings about it, but she did really well academically and went on to Oxbridge. There were a handful of AP girls in my year but if I was aware who they all were at the time (1980s), I've long forgotten now.

This was a well-regarded girls' school in outer London, but I think one of the key differences between private school cohorts then and now (and please don't flame me for this) is that back then there were a lot more "ordinary" families than there seem to be at similar schools near me these days. My friend's family weren't well-off, her parents were teachers and their house wasn't fancy, but there wasn't a dramatic difference between hers and lots of my other friends'. I had a comfortable childhood (nice house, mostly UK holidays) but was keenly aware that had I not been an only child I'd almost certainly not have been at private school. The girls from properly wealthy backgrounds, because of course there were some, stood out much more, at least to my teenage eyes.

I hope my friend didn't feel people were snobbish about her AP. I seem to remember rather admiring her for having got one (in complete ignorance of what the process might have been!)

Thank you everyone for your replies and I'm genuinely pleased to hear that there have been good experiences.

In my form, about a third had an assisted place (economically crumbling Northern town). Everyone knew who we were. I remember during my first week a girl asking me whether I was on an assisted place. When I said (proudly!) that I was, she pulled a face and physically recoiled. I still remember the realisation dawning - this thing that I was so proud of was somehow...dirty. To be clear, that was not the attitude of all, and even she softened as she grew and began the adolescent process of critically appraising her parents' views. But there was an undercurrent of this attitude in the school. I think some of the teachers held it too. I certainly felt that some did not expect much of me.

Any maybe we were an unusual cohort, but as a group we really didn't shine academically. This was an era of class rankings and we reliably and disproportionately took the lower placings. One girl did do extremely well and is now a vet, but she was the exception. Around half left after GCSEs having got pretty mediocre results. The brightest girl, let's call her Karen, was a bit of a phenomenon. Even at 11 I could tell that she was on another level. She had a razor sharp intellect, and a memory like a mousetrap. She should have soared academically. Instead she got a reasonable but not stellar bag of GCSEs and A levels and now works as cabin crew, where in fairness, her flair for languages comes in massively useful and she is very happy! Another is in prison! Another, again very bright, left at 16 to go to catering college, and has since dragged herself through evening classes and Open University to achieve a career that she should have managed with her eyes shut 25 years ago.

If anyone is interested, the research that I read that triggered me thinking about this can is summarised here:

theconversation.com/the-state-has-helped-poor-pupils-into-private-schools-before-did-it-work-70222

In short, it seems to suggest that the scheme largely failed in its aim of attracting genuinely disadvantaged students. But, where it did find these children, it probably did them more harm than good. The middle class children who accessed the scheme (of whom there were very many) tended to do rather well.

I think this story fits what I saw. My school, it turns out, was one of the successful ones in terms of attracting genuinely poor children into the scheme. However, as shown in the research, it did not manage to convert this into good outcomes for those children.

I'm not sure where this leaves me. I love the idea of private schools offering bursaries to bright disadvantaged children, but if this is going to decrease life chances for them.... Tricky.

Oh God, so many typos...school clearly failed to teach me to proofread...

Like spanieleyes I went to a direct grant grammar school in the 1970s, forerunner of the assisted places scheme. I think we had a lower proportion of scholarship girls, more like 10%, with the rest paying fees. It meant I was on the same terms as in a state school - so I got free school meals and help towards uniform costs, and possibly other things that my parents knew about but I didn't.

I hated it. I don't recall any obvious bullying, but those of us from economically disadvantaged homes and whose parents hadn't been to university (mine had left school at 14) stood out like a sore thumb. E.g.

• teachers routinely said things like "look this up in the encyclopedia when you get home". Which made it very clear that my home was different and deficient, and also made it harder to get my homework done, competing for scarce resources in the public library.

• sports were a big thing, and most of the girls at my school had been to private primary/prep schools so already knew mysterious (to me) games like hockey and lacrosse on arrival. The assumption that you'd know how to play these already made me feel inadequate and put me at a disadvantage for joining in and making friends.

• other girls talked about their ski-ing trips and month-long stays in country houses in France and Italy. I soon learned to keep quiet about my annual week at Butlins (which I secretly loved but knew I was supposed to despise) and most of the holidays mooching about the shopping precinct.

I'd passed very competitive exams to get there on a scholarship so I must have been 'clever' at primary school, but without the material, educational and cultural resources at home that most of the other girls had I couldn't keep up. I was a miserable failure educationally and socially and left school as a very unhappy and troubled adolescent with a small clutch of low-grade O levels at 16. I didn't start to regain my confidence until after a series of low-paid jobs, failed relationships and the birth of my two lovely DDs I did an access course then a university degree in my 30s. I don't know how things would have been if I'd gone to the local comprehensive, but I can't imagine I'd have done any worse.

Oh MorningtonCrescent I'm sorry that you had such a miserable experience. If it's any small consolation, I hear (feel, smell, see and touch) your pain!

At least in my school there were quite a few of us, but still it was painful. Yes, to the encyclopaedia! I had a very similar experience. Yes, to the inability to join in conversations about what you did at the weekend - I knew nothing of the country club that they apparently all spent their Sundays at. Yes, to the not knowing hockey, or Latin, or French, or Music.

I arrived at school full of confidence that I was a clever girl who had achieved this wonderful thing, and within a week I was crushed. A nobody who knew nothing. The actual bullying was extremely minimal but that didn't stop me feeling as if there was a glass wall cutting across the school, through which I was not allowed.

But it sounds as if we both picked ourselves up and got where we needed in the end. And, I realise now, only in middle age. that my experience has given me something quite unusual. I am fully fluent in two languages (posh and not-so-much) and two cultures (ditto). I can talk to anyone, get a rapport with anyone, from any background, very quickly. This is incredibly valuable in my job, and I would not have it without the childhood that I led.

Oh gosh! Some of your experiences are so sad. My dd has a fully assisted place at a girls school in Birmingham, so reading this has me worried.

Her school has about 25% of pupils on some kind of assistance and it's a day school. She only started in September of this year but so far she is loving it and seems to be in a nice tutor group.

On the morning of the exam I asked her if she wanted to go for a nice lunch instead - but she was adamant she wanted to give it a go. I had really cold feet and thought, on reflection it was cruel, not only would she need to pass but an assisted place to boot.

We have talked about how some of the girls at her school might be from quite well off families & how she might feel about things as she gets older.

I hope we made the right decision - she also got offered a place at a grammar but to be honest they're hardly pits of deprevation. If she was desperately unhappy I wouldn't hesitate to move her if she wanted.

I'm so sorry some of you encountered horrible snobbery

I had an assisted place in 1985. My parents would never have been able to have afforded private education. I loved it. Worked hard. Went to Oxford Uni (my parents didn’t go to Uni) and got a first. Am genuinely thankful for it.

If you're interested in further back, you might be fascinated by the book "Education and the working class" (Jackson/Marsden). They looked at all the working class boys who attended grammar school in a northern town in the 1950s. I think the most interesting findings were (1) very few of them made it all the way through to university successfully, and (2) most of them were not 100% working class - their mothers were middle class, or fathers had been previously.

I did in the 90s and felt like the poor relation. My friends went to Australia and USA on holiday, or skiing, or owned ponies etc, and their parents were lawyers doctors
teachers . I had 5 days in a caravan in the UK, an occasionally unemployed dad and secretary mum. There were a few of us poor kids who grouped together and there was no bullying for our financial circumstances as such, but we didn't fit in with the cool crowd because we didn't wear the right clothes or have the right lifestyles. It wasn't that the other kids knew we were on assisted places, but that we couldn't relate to a lot of what the others did and said. I did well at school (had no choice, we were hothoused) but even so, I have always felt working class amongst a sea of middle class people especially at work.