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Original poster

Reception teacher doesn't look up when we arrive

44 replies

Dannie · 24/09/2004 12:02

DD just started school. Her teacher's new to the school, but experienced elsewhere. I'm very concerned because she doesn't make eye contact when we arrive in the morning. She keeps doggedly on doing reading practice. So I cheerily say 'Good morning', hang up DD's coat and leave her standing looking lost (well actually I go and deliver DS1 then come back and peer through the corridor window to see if the poor mite's OK). This is not typical of the school, DS1's teacher last year used to greet DD by name as well as DS1.
Not encouraging parents to loiter is one thing, but ignoring the kids strikes me as a bit OTT. Or am I expecting too much?

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binkie · 24/09/2004 12:09

It does sound very odd. If she's already doing reading practice, could she be attempting to give you a very crude message about the teaching day having already started, and that dd ought to be there earlier? (I found out, but from a very tactful and kind teacher, that I'd got ds's start time wrong & that I was regularly bringing him in 15 mins late.) Perhaps you could have a chat with her along those lines?

Ds & dd's teachers have always done a cheery "good morning" & expect the children to do so too - polite reciprocal greetings at beginning and end of day are part of the school's express programme. Which is great.

ScummyMummy · 24/09/2004 12:10

Sounds v strange, Dannie. Is dd in Reception? My kids (y1) always start the day by sitting down on the mat for registration, which incorporates a greetings from and to their teachers. This was the case last year too. In nursery their teachers would greet each child as they arrived and settle them to whatever they wanted to do. I've certainly never experienced them standing looking lost and have to say I would be distressed at that, even if they were not. Hard one though- because I suspect complaining about a teacher's social skills either to her or a headteacher will not be easy. I hope someone has some good suggestions- I really don't think you're expecting too much.

MeanBean · 24/09/2004 12:11

I don't think you're expecting too much, it's common courtesy to acknowledge a greeting. Not a particularly good example to children, being so bad-mannered. And having a stressful and busy job is no excuse imo.

Miriam2 · 24/09/2004 12:13

Very poor IMO. Perhaps not so important as they get older as by then they are chatting to their friends as they go in but when they've just started, that transition from parent to teacher is vital. I know some parents try to use that time to grab the teacher about trivial matters and it's quite an art for teachers to deflect that but she's taking it too far. Miserable cow!Difficult though- can't really say 'My child would be happier if you said hello' but maybe if you continue with your breezy LOUD 'Good morning' she will get the hint.

ScummyMummy · 24/09/2004 12:34

Doh- just realised that you've said she's in Reception in the title. scuse idiocy.

Original poster
Dannie · 24/09/2004 12:35

It particularly worried me this morning as DD was only the third child to arrive, so it's not like the woman was up to her eyes in kids. I could approach her along the lines of 'I appreciate you don't want me hanging around, but I'd like you to acknowledge my daughter so I know you know she's there' or I could approach DS1's teacher, who's the head of lower school, but as Scummy says, it's really hard not to make it sound like I'm complaining about her manners.

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Original poster
Dannie · 24/09/2004 12:49

On Wednesday, I went in to say 'DD has an ear infection and we're keeping her at home today'. I was ignored for several minutes, then grudgingly acknowledged. Isn't this the sort of info they need? Also, I'd hang around a lot less if they acknowledged us. (sorry, starting to rant)

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binkie · 24/09/2004 12:54

So that is definitely odd. Are you particular friends with any other parents of children in the class? You could combine to do a friendliness offensive - both (or more) parents and children all arrive together, and all march in chorusing good morning, with one of you primed as having the "shy" child so that there can be a general mass encouragement of that child to say hello to the teacher/remarks about how greetings are polite and important/etc. Faced with that I'd defy anyone to go on not responding.

Rowlers · 24/09/2004 13:00

If it were me, I would probably try to have a quiet word with the headteacher. I'd go for someone who is senior to this particular teacher, probably not DS' teacher. I think that teacher may be in a difficult position but the head must be used to dealing with staff issues. Along the lines of, "I hope you don't mind but I really would like to talk over something with you that's bothering me a little" and explain what you've said here. Do you think that would be possible? I obviously have no idea how available the head is.

KangaMummy · 24/09/2004 13:03

What do the other parents say and do?

Do they take their children into the classroom and take off their coats?

Or do the children go in by themselves and take their own coats off and hang them up?

When DS was in recption he had to go into infant door and through the libary by himself then into reception door. It was really hard on me NOT him after being in nursery when you took them to the door but not take them in.

When they went into Class 3 they go round into another playground and they come out independantly it is just part of growing up. I always sent DS round with a friend.

SoupDragon · 24/09/2004 13:04

Oooh - not sure I'd go to the head over something like this. I like the idea of getting together with the other parents though. It's not a problem we've ever had at DSs school - even if the teacher is busy there are 2 classroom assistants around.

Jimjams · 24/09/2004 13:05

very odd behaviour- I'd talk to ds1's teacher- just ask her if there is some reason that saying hellow is disruptive!

So do they start work before registration (the children I mean) I'm not sure what the teacher is doing.,....

And btw when I go into ds1's year 1 class everyone says hello to ds2 (age 2) as well. And sometimes he must be annoying as occasionally I have to have a longer chat with ds1's LSA so ds2 has more chance to be in the way iyswim.

Tiggiwinkle · 24/09/2004 13:11

I would agree with Rowlers. If the teacher is new to the school, the head needs to know if there are potential problems. Also, if her social skills are so poor, it does make you wonder how she is relating to the kids for the rest of their time with her. Is your DD mentioning anything about her day to concern you?

cab · 24/09/2004 13:11

Would assume she's just madly preparing for the day ahead. No nursery nurse around?

Batters · 24/09/2004 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cab · 24/09/2004 13:15

Just a thought - if she's new perhaps this is her way of establishing discipline and she'll relax in a few weeks.

Original poster
Dannie · 24/09/2004 13:16

I've only polled one other mother so far. She agrees but is an inveterate moaner. I plan to arrive early this afternoon and ask around the more positive ones.
Other children are similarly delivered to the classroom, I don't think it's that I'm doing something odd. And even if I came in and changed DS2's nappy on the classroom floor, it would still be appropriate for her to say good morning to DD!

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coppertop · 24/09/2004 13:18

It does sound very odd. Ds1's teacher doesn't always have time to say hello to everyone but will always answer if spoken to. Ds1's school have a policy of letting parents into the classroom for 10 minutes each morning. Parents are encouraged to help their child complete a small task, eg practise writing their name. The idea is to involve parents in their child's education, give them a chance to see what happens in the classroom and gives an opportunity to talk to the teacher/LSA if there are any problems.

cab · 24/09/2004 13:19

Is DD happy when you pick her up? If so I think I would give the teacher a break - a wee chat with 30 mums could take half an hour and perhaps she thinks the time is better spent on the kids?

Original poster
Dannie · 24/09/2004 13:20

Batters, the school has flexible drop-off between 8 and 8.30. So one key reason why I'd like her to acknowledge DD is for basic security. What if she decided to run after me and the teacher hadn't noticed her arrive and she didn't stop her and she got run over?
They do a bit of reading practice with individual children and the others play for a bit. In DS1's class, they then have registration at 8.30. Not sure how they do it in reception

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binkie · 24/09/2004 13:24

Just to say, KangaMummy, I'm impressed by your ds - quite tough of the school that. We did get a letter towards Christmas of reception saying, perhaps now it's time to get the children a bit more independent, so don't come up to the classroom unless you've got an important message for the teachers - but at the very beginning the children were dreadfully lost (and the "good mornings" were accordingly essential). Dannie, good luck.

Original poster
Dannie · 24/09/2004 13:24

Take your point cab (tho there's only 12 in the class) but I really don't want a wee chat. Unless I absolutely need to tell her something, I want her to say good morning to DD. That is all.

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Original poster
Dannie · 24/09/2004 13:26

Coppertop, your school sounds fab

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cab · 24/09/2004 13:30

Don't get me wrong Dannie I would be worried too - just trying to think why she would act like this. My dd is just 4 and it's so long since I've been at school I haven't got a clue really. But I do feel if she's new she's going to need a LOT of support. How about priming dd to say 'good morning Mrs x'.

Original poster
Dannie · 24/09/2004 13:37

That might work. A bit more subtle than me bellowing at her, and it may be she's good with kids but uneasy with parents

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