Exclusion

[Loui1974]

My son is 15 , is a good kid has good grades or the teachers say what a lovely polite boy is , but yesterday I had a phone call from the school , that he could face expulsion from school for hitting his friend in the face , he instantly regretted and did say sorry , his friend had been saying nasty things to my son about infected eczema on my son face and my sons vitamin d deficiency for over a week now and yesterday my son just snapped , this is out of character for him , it was head of year that phoned and he did say that my son will have to do a statement cause they haven't heard my sons side of what happened, the head of year said that my son is lovely and polite quiet boy . I'm am very concerned about this any advice would be appreciated Thankyou

Hitting some is a serious issue and even if he says sorry he will have to face the consequences. I suppose that he may be allowed an internal exclusion if he's very apologetic. But the school may have set rules on how this is dealt with, an exclusion doesn't mean he'll be expelled.
Try and encourage him to confide in a trusted teacher at school if he's being bullied. They should be able to do something before things get out of hand if they have a good anit builling procedure in place.

If it's out of character for him then I can see why you're shocked, but the fact is he did hit someone and whatever the provocation, that still stands. His school could well have a clear-cut policy that hitting = (x) days exclusion, so it's irrelevant how it started. Also presumably he has admitted to the hitting so for now that's all they need to know. Obviously if there is bullying going on, his statement will help to address that.

Most schools use restorative justice approach to discipline now. Why not read the school behaviour policy - it will be on the website. But definitely your son needs to explain that his 'friend' had been winding him up all week. Make sure your son doesn't get too defensive but is apologetic. He will get some sort of punishment but if he's a good kid normally it won't be too bad.

Behaviour policies have to apply to all students, including nice, well behaved students, otherwise they aren't fit for purpose. Behaviour policies shouldn't be implemented based on how much teachers like individuals.

He hit someone. Hitting someone is usually a longer spell in isolation or a fixed term exclusion. I would let the school investigate and take statements and then take it from there. You might find after the background is given that he has some time in isolation instead.

I think what they're saying is reasonable.
It's never acceptable to lash out and assault somebody.

Did he report the issues he was facing?

I would accept the exclusion of given. You should have a meeting when he returns, and as another poster has said, they may use restorative justice to resolve the issue between the boys. This will be his opportunity to say how he felt and why it happened and vice versa.

They may not exclude him depending on the severity (was the other boy injured), how high profile it was and the prior events. Let us know how you get on.

It was a just one slap to the boy , he knows he did wrong , just worried cause it’s is out of character for him

He has to do a statement to put his side across , but I think the other boy should be spoken to aswell because he was verbally bullying my son , and yes I know my son was wrong

Hitting is wrong but he's also a victim of bullying. Children with visible medical conditions have a right to be protected from harassment from other pupils.

He needs to learn to control his anger fairly quickly. The ‘just losing it and lashing out’ type behaviour can lead to really serious injuries and even death when delivered by a fit young man. I can think of several stories where young men have found themselves in prison for manslaughter after delivery of a single fatal punch to the head.

Absolutely no excuses. He’s putting himself at risk as well as others. The school are right to take it very seriously. He perhaps needs to choose his friends more seriously too.

That should be choose his friends more carefully.

Zero tolerance of violence. Provoked or not he needs to take the punishment. As long as this is within the behaviour policy you need to back school up. If he is being bullied that needs flagging separately.

I think the lesson here is to say he is being bullied. Much earlier. Obviously slapping a child isn’t a great response but the bullying child should not get away with his behaviour either. I think he needs to understand that any such bullying must be reported and it’s also not on to mock a child with an illness which is what the other child was doing.

Your DS needs to apologise in his statement. Make it clear he was provoked and bullied. Say he understands his response was wrong. Say he really will not do it again. Mean it! Also say he has not been in trouble before and would like his general good character and work ethic to be taken into account.

He shouldn’t be permanently excluded for a slap. If he wasn’t sent home, I would think they won’t do this. See what The Behaviour, Sanctions and Exclusion policy says. One of my DDs slapped another DD when they were 13. DD had suffered great provocation. The other girl was spoken to and DD wasn’t punished. Common sense prevailed!

Thankyou guys the head of year called me back and said the exclusion will only be a couple of days , he will be using that time to revise for his mock exams

They will ask for the other side to the story and may decide on a short period of exclusion but if a kid had hit mine I would expect the child to be removed from the school, teasing is never an excuse for violence, your son should have reported what was being said to a teacher

I wouldn't worry too much about the exclusion, it won't have a permanent affect on his life. He'll need to learn his lesson and move on. It sounds like he's a nice boy and this was just a blip so he just needs to make sure it isn't repeated. That might mean making sure the bullying is dealt with.

“Teasing”? On so many threads this would be bullying! When did nasty teasing stop being bullying? Make sure you understand the definition of bullying! Mocking someone with a skin condition is bullying!!! It’s deeply unpleasant and the other child should be spoken to. Would any of us tolerate being bullied because we, or indeed our children, had a very obvious skin condition? We would hope our children could report it and not slap the bully but mocking a skin condition is not acceptable behaviour at all and should not be dismissed as teasing.

Yep that's what I thought he had put up with verbal bullying for over a week , he understands he did wrong and was very upset last night over it Thankyou

If I was you, I would ask to see to someone in the pastoral team. Obviously with the view that your DS is happy at school, does not reoffend, and that this bullying is addressed.

He will probably get a day's exclusion. And the other boy will suffer some sort of sanction but verbal assault is never treated as seriously.

Years ago I came across a case of a boy who hit two other boys who were taking the mick out of his disabled younger sister. He was excluded, but so were they.

if a kid had hit mine I would expect the child to be removed from the school

If my son was taking the mick out of another lad for something he could not help for over a week and the other lad hit him, I'd say he got what he deserved. He'd get no sympathy from me whatsoever.

My son got 1 day exclusion and the other boy got nothing have to go to a meeting on Monday the 3rd of June

Ok. One day isn’t so bad. Have they asked you to go in? Make sure DS apologises. Recognise that slapping is wrong. Then talk about DS loving the school but being bullied for his skin condition is not acceptable. Read the anti bullying policy and make sure you say the bullying was sustained. Not a one off. Say it has a detrimental affect on your DS and it is imperative it does not continue. Ask how they will ensure it stops. Say your DS is mortified about what has happened but you need to be assured that bullying about a skin condition is not tolerated by the school.

Don’t ask for a punishment for the other boy. They might be dealing with him in another way.

A one day exclusion cannot in effect be challenged.
You and son need to accept that a one day exclusion is fair and reasonable for him hitting another pupil. What happens to the other boy is irrelevant and you should not be mentioning him when you go in on the 3rd. This will be a re-integration meeting and will be about this not happening again. That is the point at which the bullying can be raised and the school asked how they are going to ensure that no further bullying happens, especially given that son has learnt lesson and will not respond / retaliate to any further bullying.

Not going challenge the exclusion, but will be bringing up about the other boy for verbal bullying my son , and yes I know he shouldn't have slapped him , but the boy should also learn that saying things about someone's condition is not on either