WHAT EXTREMES WOULD YOU GO TO OR HAVE YOU HEARD OF TO GET A CHILD............

[slimthing]

INTO THE SCHOOL (STATE OR PRIVATE, PRIMARY OR SECONDARY)OF CHOICE?

Im sure that many of you could see that one coming!

BUT I like feel I have been mentally tortured trying to unravel this one. Im SURE my dd will thrive in almost any school, but I dont feel that I can allow this to settle until I can satisfy myself that I have done all that I can. I can tell you that it has been far more mentally taxing than any qualification that I have worked for, and almost a career in itself!

Short of working nights as well as days, I really cannot afford to send her to the private school I think would develop and stretch her.

I have heard plenty of stories where people claim they have or know of a friend (or often a friend of a friend) to get into a decent school. I think a lost of it has GOT to be exaggerated and wondered if anyone has any stories that they'd can share?

Have people REALLY beeen known to sell their furniture to pay for their child's education OR to rent property for the weekday to be close enough to be in the catchment and to attend?

I recently heard that someone my friend knows (I don't) rented a property to get a child into a good local state primary, and then did the same again for the sibling. Was fairly shocked.

Thanx for your reply Azure, anyone else?

Well, people change religion, move house, use a friend's/relative's address if you want to know about extreme things people do to get the school of their choice.

I think at primary level there is a lot you can do yourself to make sure your child is stretched.

I worried myself silly about which school my son should go to. The end we picked the nearest school and he has been happy and done well even if it isn't the most middle class school in the area.

I havent heard anything extraordinary. I know that should I not be able to get my child into the school of my choice I would pay to go to private school. Probably cheaper than moving.

don't know of anything really extreme but i know people who have moved house and started going to church, when they previously didn't, for the sake of getting into the 'right' school

Thanks all. My post stems from a conversation between myself and another mother who attends the church attached to a heavily oversubscribed primary school. Part way through the service, the children are taken to Sunday school by their parents. I noticed that not all the parents retuned to the main service afterwards, but one Dad particular sits in the car and reads his paper.

I though this was most bizarre and when I commented she to this other Mother, SHE was surprised at how niaive I was and suggested that I should 'wise up and get with it'! She then started telling me various things that people 'have to do' to 'play and beat the system' (her words, not mine). She even pointed out a man whose wife attends a Catholic church (ours is C of E) to double their chances of getting into either of the attached schools.

Another story about a woman who has an arrangment with another church-goer to rent a room at her house (without any money ACTUALLY changing hands) but where a live tenancy agreement is in place.

This all allegedly necessary to avoid 'reducing' oneself to the position of a family she knows who have sold antiques to pay for private school fees and even then funds ran out and the children had to go to state schools after a few years anyway!

So, she says that the choice is to be either at the bottom of the top (private school) or at the top of the equally good academically, but free (state school). Holidaying around the world and all-important postcodes seem to be part of this package that she has bought in to.

Is she taking the p*ss out of me to scare me off or do these things REALLY happen? Anyone? (sorry its long).

slimthing i think these things really do happen but i also think it depends where you live as to how common it is people in certain areas may want to 'keep up with the jones' and all that we are actually looking to move house and this would also involve a school change - i must admit that we looked into the better school areas when deciding where we are going to move to - doesn't hurt does it?!

I know a letting agent who handles flats in an ex-council block next to a good state school in an otherwise expensive area. Families regularly rent the flats in the year preceding school entry, before moving into a nice big house just outside the priority admission area.

I have two friends whose whole families were 'born again' at quite a handy point in their lives with regard to the needs of their kids.... I think it is funny more than anything else - they've got roped into church fetes and cake bakings and coffee mornings, and cannot escape the long clutches of the community no matter how hard they try And then they have all those 'awkward' conversations with other members of the congregation and with school teachers and so on. Excrutiating.

Problem is I can see why they did it. Fortunately I don't have to face the dilemma they were in, but I can't see there being any solutions anytime soon. Apparantly the Brighton 'lottery' experiment (which does away with catchment areas) has led to huge increase in demand for private placements in the area...

Suddently developing an interest in christianity is par for the course in my town. Two mothers from our pre-school attended lessons for ages so they could be confirmed a few months before the applications had to be in which I thought was extreme! Also it is generally thought attending church is not enough you also have to 'make yourself known' by volunteering for everything that comes up at church too.

Houses in the catchment for non-church schools that are considered as good as the church ones are hugely expensive.

The fact is that there are no bad schools here...it is mainly snob value as the church ones have less pupils from council estates.

I saw a programe once where someone was trying to get a child into a school that was none for its musical talaents. Her child pretended to play an instrument while mum stood behind and hummed.

I also know of someone who offered to donate thousands of pounds to a school, am glad to say they did not get in.

We moved up north when DD1 was 3 1/2 and DD2 was 10 months and our major criteria for a house was the school catchment area! Paid through the nose for a medium-sized house - mind you, lovely location and the school run is about 150 paces. Got DS1 into trouble though as his map for "Walk to School" week was a straight line with some trees either side and the teacher thought he was taking the p**!! Had to forego the 4th bedroom, decent sized garden, etc.

"choice is to be either at the bottom of the top (private school) or at the top of the equally good academically, but free (state school). " ?/eh?

Snort at humming for musical talent!

In our LEA tenancy agreements have to be for a minimum of year, and they do make surprise visits, check electoral rolls, you have to show utility bills inyour name and adddress and bank statements.

Also, in the neighbouring LEA two children got hauled out of the playground and parents told to collect them as they were found to have used an address they weren't permanently resident at to get into the school!

Don't understand the "bottom of the top" comment either.
And WHY do people think that paid for is automatically better?????

db and ex-SIL used a friend's address to get their daughter into their nursery of choice . They were nearly rumbled when their friend forgot to pass on some important correspondence from the nursery.

Glad its not just me. Didnt fully grasp the bottom / top thing either (but was too taken aback and didnt want to expose my apparent ignorance further)! My sister seems to think that its supposed to mean something about being better to be top - and being the one others are trying to keep up with, rather than the one trying to keep up all the time!!! (eg holidays, cars, etc if that makes any more sense).

Humming mother behind child is a a brilliant one!

I cant help noticing that the children who didnt get into the school this year have stopped coming to church - coincidentally, all of a sudden. There are still PLENTY of others who 'know the drill' and are doing what is commonly referred to as 'porridge', at my church.

Funny that once in the school these children are 'never' seen at the Sunday service again! That is unless attending as part of a family where younger siblings have to do 'porridge' of their own.

Most of the children sit upstair playing with the latest electronic gadget while their parents do the Sunday crossword, Sudoko or simply sleep!

I totally agree with removing children who have been admited based on false information. Although I can also understand why parents do take such risks and will do all they possibly can for thier childs education.

As an aside, someone mentioned home visits. My dd will be attending a local undersubscribed nursery attached to a school in September. The co-ordinator has said that they will be doing a home visit to sort out paperwork and admin. im a bit suspicious because I have completed the admission, uniform, school meals and data collection forms already. What more can there be? And there is a welcome meeting before the term starts. Am I missing something? Is this usual?

Sorry for long posts.

slimthing home visits for nursery and reception aren't uncommon. It gives the chance for a member of staff to have a greater insight into the life of the child ebfore they start and also the child will have met the member of staff in a safe setting. The "paperwork" may very well be base aroudn family members etc so that the staff will be able to make some sense of wha the child is saying to them when they start nursery - not all children have clear diction, so it helps if the staff have a reference file to know what the siblings are called etc.