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Original poster

Stammer and bullying need advice

16 replies

loz1986 · 19/05/2019 11:25

Hi, right I'll try to sum up so I don't waffle I'm too much.
My son is nearly 5 he's summer born at the end of August so straight away he started school a lot younger than most in his year. I didn't hold him back a year as he's such a confident boy who loves being around other kids.
My son has a stammer 😢 and he can talk very well but he's found it very difficult to make friends as children can be very impatient which is normal but he's starting to realise there's something amiss with his speech, he hadn't noticed as we follow all guild lines and he just sees speech therapy as fun!
The school have been fab, they even sent his teacher on a stammer course.
The problem is they haven't done much about him feeling left out at play and dinner and having no friends to play with. on Friday a couple of kids were laughing at him telling him to pull his pants down!!! 😡😡 they keep singling him out and saying snide things to him, this is one incident of about 3. I feel like it's to embarrass him. I was in tears when he told me! I phoned the school and I'm going in on Monday for a meeting, they are making me feel like I'm mivering because I have to complain so much but that's my job!! I'm not having anyone bullying my kids! I need a-bit of advice, is it just kids being kids?? Am I being over protective because of his stammer??? I don't know 🤔 but I'm at the point of taking him out and home schooling until I find another school place. The school said they are monitoring him at break and play times to make sure he has someone to play with ... but then why is he being picked on now too?? Is "monitoring" another word for doing balls all.
A bit of help would be appreciated ladies, would just like others opinions before I go tomorrow. X

OP posts:
Original poster
loz1986 · 19/05/2019 12:30

Bump coz I really need an opinion on this, I need to be prepared before I go tomoz.

OP posts:
Original poster
loz1986 · 19/05/2019 12:44

Bump

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Original poster
loz1986 · 19/05/2019 12:46

Bump

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IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 19/05/2019 12:50

I dont believe any parent can be called over protective when it comes to bullying.

If your child is upset over the actions of another child directed at yours, that is bullying. Complain to school and the parents, and keep doing so until your child stops coming home worried about what someone else has said or done.

I have absolutely zero tolerance for bullying. I'm 22 and could name three people local to me that have committed suicide or tried to due to the actions of other people.

My mum is all tall when it comes to my younger sister who was bullied, but she will never complain. So I've been up the school a number of times to straighten it out.

Some boy took my sisters drink out of her back before getting on the bus home and poured it all over her head. The school said it was after 3pm for nothing would be done. So I waited at 3pm to talk to the child myself and she hasnt had a problem since.

ASauvignonADay · 19/05/2019 12:50

I wouldn't pull him out of school over 3 incidents without addressing it first.

Is this happening in break/lunch times or when he is in class?

Eustasiavye · 19/05/2019 12:55

You are not over reacting.
Is it possible for your dp to go into school with you about this, he might be calmer, no offense meant but you will not help by being over emotional.
I don't know if the bullying is part of the reason for the bullying but it needs to be nipped in the bud.
Id mention to the teacher that you are worried about your son struggling to make friends and see what they suggest. They might have some sort of buddy system at playtimes.

Branleuse · 19/05/2019 13:00

I wouldnt send my child somewhere they were being bullied. His stammer will get far more pronounced if he is under that sort of stress

Original poster
loz1986 · 19/05/2019 13:04

Thanks, yes it's happening at break/lunch times, he doesn't want to go to school and that's not like him at all. I'm trying to be calm but the school don't seem very alarmed, I was alarmed at once and now it's getting worse. I just can't bare him being unhappy.
He's started to loose all his lovely confidence and that's an issue for me as his stammer already puts him on the back foot

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Original poster
loz1986 · 19/05/2019 13:07

Also thank you everyone who replied, it's hard sometimes to know how to react to things, I get angry when my kids are involved. I have an older child he's 13 but he's never really had any problems so I'm new to this sort of thing

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forkfun · 19/05/2019 13:13

You are not overreacting. I'd take notes to the meeting, with specific incidents. As much info as you can get from your kid. Then explain what impact this has had on your child. Then ask for a solution or detail what you expect to be done.

Be clear and follow it up in writing. E.g. thank you for meeting me about xyz. As we've discussed, you will do xyz by 6 June. We will then have a follow up meeting.

Original poster
loz1986 · 19/05/2019 13:26

Your right I'm going to write everything down tonight so I don't get railroaded

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Summersunshine2 · 19/05/2019 13:42



Summersunshine2 · 19/05/2019 13:43

Read The Optimistic Child - will help both you and your child in this situation along with going to the school.
Good luck, it's awful isn't it.

Stammer and bullying need advice
Original poster
loz1986 · 19/05/2019 13:53

Thanks I'll try to download onto my kindle tonight 👍. It is awful, kids can be cruel so I'm more concerned with the school and them notifying their parents as if my child was behaving like that then I would want to know x

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Jellycat1 · 20/05/2019 07:41

You are definitely not overreacting. The incident you describe is very definitely targeted and pretty nasty bullying. I have a son the same age and reading that I nearly cried so I'm not surprised you did. If the school isn't responding sufficiently I think you need to log the incidents in writing and send them up the chain of command as need be. Do you know the parents of the kids? If the same ones keep doing it, is it an option to speak to them? I'd want to know if my boys were doing that to another child.

Original poster
loz1986 · 20/05/2019 07:55

I know it's heartbreaking, I'm going for a meeting at 9 this morning and I've wrote all my concerns down so they know I've have enough! I want them to get the parents to come into school because the issue of the boy repeatedly telling my son to pull his pants down is a safe guarding issue in its self, I've been on many courses regarding this so I'm on the know 🤣. I know it probably is just the kids a brat but still the proper follow up is required. Also I know it's not about his stammer but I'm playing that card anyway as he's already struggling to make friends and he doesn't need bullies on top! Thanks so much for feedback I feel more like I'm justified now. X

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