Left in the toilet at 4

[JoBurger]

I am hoping someone can advise me.

My dd has just started school. When I collected her on her second day she started to sob on the way home.She then told me that she had asked to go for a poo during the day and was duly taken to the toilets (they are out of her classroom, across a busy general area and have a heavy door to them) by the classroom assistant and left there. She told me she was scared and unable to wipe herself properly. She started screaming and some older children heard her and went to fetch her teacher.

I raised this with the teacher the following day who told me that a: their insurance forbade them from wiping the children - which I can understand and had indeed been trying to get my dd to do this herself with varying degrees of success over the Summer; and that b: if a child wants to go to the toilet(other than on a designated toilet-trip) the teacher/classroom assistant cannot remain with them as they need to be back with the class so as have the correct ratio.

Whilst I understand their reasons behind leaving her, the result is that I feel she could have injured herself being left alone and that she was obviously distressed as it was only her second day. (She now tries to go at home before we leave for school as she HATES going there now)

I just wondered if this was the norm at Reception age.

Thank you (and apologies for going on about POO!)

Your poor dd. Agree with everyone about how stupid it is and how unreasonable and about how children go to school too early. Makes me mad.

Sorry about your dd, JoB - very glad you raised this topic though as ds started Reception today and I'm going to speak to the teacher tomorrow as I have no idea where the toilets are or the procedure and would hate for him to be in a similar position.

Thank you for your post Jellyhead. I too assumed that as she had managed well at nursery that she would be fine. I am berating myself as I know I should have asked about their 'going to the toilet' procedure at the new parents' evening and warned her in advance: I just didn't think she'd be left (although I do understand their reasons for doing so). Forwarned is forearmed and as Jimmychoos pointed out, a 'preparing your child for school' leaflet might have enabled me raise relevant questions with the school.

I am going to raise the issue of the lack of a toilet in the Reception area at the parents' evening this week. Must come down to money me assumes.

In the meantime, my dd spent almost half-an-hour on the loo this evening as she didn't want to 'have to go at school and be left'

Thanks again.

Jodee, you have made me feel much better. I thought it was just me who didn't think of asking such questions.

It does seem like pretty poor planning to have Reception toilets so far from the classroom. Poor little thing.

Ds1 was only toilet-trained a few weeks before starting school. However, the Head told me that the staff were more than willing to change his nappies for him if toilet-training was unsuccessful. This surprised me tbh as I expected a similar policy to pre-school, ie where someone phones to ask me to come in and change him if necessary (although this was never needed in the end). Ds1 has some extra funding to help him settle into school but he doesn't have 1:1 help. A classroom assistant would still have had to leave the other children to help him.

JB, your post made me feel very sad for your poor dd & very angry at the school my own dd was in reception last year & lucky for her the toilets were right next door & there was no door to open to go in/out. i know that she would of been devastated to of had the same experience as your dd.
i hope that she was ok going into school today & had a happy time. you must of been so worried about her.