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Original poster

Problem at school - first week - am I doing the right thing?

22 replies

lisalisa · 13/09/2004 11:38

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marialuisa · 13/09/2004 11:42

I think I would have just contacted the class teacher and let her deal with it. I don't think a 5 year old settling into a new school should just be expected to "deal" with that sort of thing. If your friend has teenagers maybe she's a bit out of touch?

MeanBean · 13/09/2004 11:43

Lisa, I think at this age you haven't made it worse. Your friend might be right if the children were older, but at 5, they are much more receptive to adult intervention. I think sometimes adults are so scared of intervening and labelling kids namby pambies, that we go too far the other way, so don't worry, I think you did the right thing. Hope it settles down soon.

ks · 13/09/2004 11:45

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Twiglett · 13/09/2004 11:46

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linnet · 13/09/2004 11:46

I think you did the right thing. I haven't been in this situation but if I was I would speak to the school about it like you did.

coppertop · 13/09/2004 11:58

I haven't been in this situation but I think you did the right thing. Thankfully people seem to be turning away from the idea that being bullied somehow toughens a child up. Far better to give the name-callers the message now than leave it until it escalates into something worse.

Original poster
lisalisa · 13/09/2004 11:59

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Batters · 13/09/2004 12:08

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frogs · 13/09/2004 12:10

I think you did exactly the right thing, as much for the other kids' sake as for your ds.

Little boys that age do get carried away at the end of last term the reception teacher took me aside after school to say that my ds had (apparently) gone up to another boy in the playground and kicked him in the stomach. Both she and I felt that it was out of character for him, and I never really got to the bottom of why he did it I suspect he was just showing off and made a bad call about what constituted an acceptable level of boy roughhousing. Conversely on a different occasion ds was bitten by another child, and the school also took it v. seriously, making the offending child write him a letter of apology.

I was entirely happy with the way the school took these incidents seriously. I think little boys are thoughtless sometimes and make errors of judgement, but if they don't have these boundaries spelled out to them, they'll carry on thinking this is ok. At this age I don't think they do label each other for 'telling' -- that comes later.

ks · 13/09/2004 12:13

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Tiggiwinkle · 13/09/2004 12:26

Just to agree that I think you did exactly the right thing. I have been in similar situations with my DS and the school took very similar action, which I feel is entirely appropriate.
It has always helped rather than made things worse, as I am sure will be the case for your DS.

Original poster
lisalisa · 13/09/2004 12:43

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suedonim · 13/09/2004 14:59

I've just received the AntiBullying Policy from dd1's school and according to that, you did exactly the right thing, Lisa. It's important at any age to deal with it asap; a small child could be put off school forever, while an older child could end up doing something drastic to themselves.

Original poster
lisalisa · 13/09/2004 16:18

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WideWebWitch · 13/09/2004 20:41

I think you did the right thing too Lisalisa, fwiw.

twogorgeousboys · 13/09/2004 21:43

I think you were SPOT ON in the way you handled this lisalisa.

toddlerbob · 14/09/2004 01:53

What you did sounds brilliant lisalisa, I would rather have you as my mum than your friend. I got bullied and always told as I found it made them stop immediately. He will always come to you when something is wrong now because he trusts you to sort it out.

Marina · 14/09/2004 09:32

You did absolutely the right thing, lisalisa. And teens need their parents to intervene too sometimes, come to that. Sorry to hear about your rota, sounds nightmarish.

Original poster
lisalisa · 14/09/2004 11:53

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Original poster
lisalisa · 20/09/2004 12:10

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WideWebWitch · 20/09/2004 18:52

Good for you lisalisa, pleased to hear it.

kimi · 20/09/2004 19:59

Glad things are going ok now lisalisa, i just found this thread, you did do the right thing and i know it is hard ( i am having problens with ds1 and have a thread nasty bully stupid mother) so i do now how you feel, dont worry too much about the "powerfull" mum as its a bit sad to have a pecking order in the playground and any parent who behaves like "top dog" in a school playground is a saddo with no life.
I am sure you and you son will settle down and make friends with the other kids and the mums..
I have found the nicest mums are the ones who do not join in with the "in clicks".
But please don't feel that you can't go and speak to the teacher or the head, that is what they are there for.

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