To move back now or wait three years

[lul37]

We have been abroad for almost 4 years now. DH has just had his work contract renewed for another three years. My DS are now 7 and 10. We feel quite settled over here with the school and the lifestyle, but I'm at crossroads now that the contract has been extended.

Should I move back with the DC this summer? They will be starting Year 3 and Year 6 in September.

Or shall I wait it out for another 3 years abroad and then we all move back together?

I'm worried if we wait, it will be harder settling DS back into schooling in the UK at an older age, one would be in secondary by then.

What would you do? I'm not personally in a rush to move back at all, especially without DH. But even living abroad, his job still involves an enormous amount of travel, and we have adjusted to him being away regardless.

It probably depends what curriculum they are currently following but as long as your elder dc is back by year 9 it should be fine. Do bear in mind gcse options are chosen in year 9 so there may not be much time for her to identify what would best suit her, and subjects such as history, rs and geography can be taught very differently overseas.

Many schools are choosing options in Y8 now and doing a 3 year GCSE course, so may have to launch straight into GSCEs in Y9 - don't know what the 'choosing process' would be in that case.

I think it depends where you are. We were in a non English speaking country with poor secondary education options (including the international school) so we moved back. We would have preferred to stay as everyone was happy and settled.

Thanks @LIZS and @Seeline. My DC are following the British Curriculum abroad at a British School. So hopefully the curriculum wouldn't be any different once we move back.

However, my eldest has minor learning difficulties to make matters more complicated. So I'm not quite sure if moving back at the start of Year 9 is the best choice for him.

What about in terms of social integration? I have read it's easier to move DC, the younger they are. Is that true?

@PlumCakeChica how old were your DC when you moved back? Did they adjust easily? We are in an English Speaking environment so that's not an issue,

We are at a very similar place (Y6 and Y4 in Sept), and have made the decision to return.
The biggest deterrent in terms of schooling is Y6 where we are would be SATs free. By returning, we hit the new Y4 tables test (should be fine) and Y6 SATs (I think some of the grammar and spelling will prove troublesome). Just hoping we land a school with a laid back approach to SATs....

Good luck with whatever you decide.

@SunshineSpring thank you, it must be a relief for you to come to a decision. I can't seem to make up my mind about it

Can you clarify abit more about the Sats? Why has it swayed your decision? Don't all British schools, whether in the UK or abroad need to administer them anyway?

Is it because some secondary schools in the UK are selective in their admissions depending on what marks students achieve in their Sats? And is that for private secondary schools and grammar schools only??

Our local secondary back in our local area in the UK, which is rated good does mention Sats as one of their admission criteria?

Sorry if I'm being abit dense about the Sats? Just thought they weren't a really big deal.

Sorry I mean does NOT mention Sats in their admission criteria!!

Exactly, they aren't a big deal, and aren't needed. We would NOT sit SATs at our International British school. Some schools, if Facebook is to be believed, turn it into a big deal. No SATs, ie staying here for another couple of years, was attractive.

SATs have no impact on the children at all. They are not used to determine admission to any secondary - mainly because national offers day is in the October before they sit SATs in the May/June.
If children are trying for state grammars they sit the 11+ at the beginning of Y6.
Entrance exams to indies are usually before/after Christmas of Y6.

Dont worry about SATS - schools cannot use them for selection
your DC may/amy not do well in Sats but they are pretty irrelevent for secondary..for the children
some use in conjunction with their own testing at the begginng of yr 7 to set targets for gcse etc....but may kids are moving in and out all the time so schools are used to not having SATS info..
Private schools have their own criteria/admissions tests or process

Grammer/selective schools will have some form of test - if grammer are Kent for example there is 1 paper - if not a grammer area then schools have their own..
If your DC have SEN then that should be your biggest concern realistically as the funding for SEN is poor and even if your DC have an EHCP (new statement) and schools vary considerably in their attutude and delivery......
If you are moving back then look at your area they are all slightly different eg I have 3 all rated good/outstanding senior schools near me the smallest is 8form, then 10 form and 1 is moving to 12 form -
and thats not including church schools.... however at yr8 you would only get a place in the 8 form outstanding one.....as they have the highest churn..
hardly any ever have space in yr 9
but the best for SEN is the 10 moving to 12form - which is rated good..

I would be wary of moving at yr9 unless you have a few schools to choose from or can go private -esp boys schools have yr9 entry

Eldest was 11 when we came back and went into the end of yr6. She didn’t even pass her sats because the curriculum had changed and she hadn’t covered the work even though she was in an international school, following the British curriculum. Fairly loosely it appears!

I’m sure your school is much better. Anyway, she’s in top sets now and predicted 9/8’s for GCSE. So it goes to show sats are for the school not the child.

Socially my dc integrated very well back into UK life but we’ve moved a lot and they have been used to making friends in new locations. It took my ds a bit longer but the dd’s were fine.

Also, we were offered a further posting at the time but it was to another ‘tricky’ location so we turned it down and returned. If we’d been offered USA where we’ve lived before and have friends/know the schools, we would have definitely gone for it.

I think Yr9 start is probably the latest I’d come back but then you have the school places nightmare. It was bad enough getting a decent yr7 state place. We had to appeal.

If my dc were going into private then possibly a yr10 start would work. I did call a couple of private schools back in the uk to talk it over. Perhaps you could do that?

Thanks all, your comments are extremely helpful. My DH is starting to get annoyed as I keep changing my mind every day about staying or leaving

We moved abroad when DS1 was 7 and DS2 was 4, my youngest is obviously against the move lol.

I have to make up my mind quickly as we need to give notice to both our landlord and the school in only a few days, if we want to leave over the summer. Our LA in our borough also won't be able to allocate school places until we have a UK address.

Going private in year 9 when we move back is not an an option, as it's unlikely we would afford it. Leaving now means we have enough time to apply to a year 7 place in September 2020 at our preferred school. How well that 'good' secondary school will support my DS1's additional needs, I have no idea?? I heard it's now harder to get a statement of SEN than in the past. Is our school here supporting his additional needs any better? I honestly don't know. His school reports say he isn't reaching his targets, he's 'working towards' his targets in reading and mathematics.

Even if he is well supported over here at our international British school (which is rated outstanding, but I'm not sure how good they are for SEN!), and then he moves back to start Year 9 at a random secondary school allocated to us in 3 years, won't the social and cultural upheaval negate any benefit he gained if we stayed put another 3 years??

How would that then affect his performance in his gscse's?

Wish I could decide and get it over and done with

Hi, tricky and will depend on the area you are going to ...

either way to get an EHCP takes at least 6 months and to get it started you /his school would have to have demonstrated they have tried interventions and they haven't been enough ...so you need evidence...EHCP are for those with complex need in the main

look on your LA 'local offer' it should demonstrate their process...although most are similar- his needs would have to impact his learning capability - eg working toward maybe ok - for him as thats his level have you had any professional input at his current school education psycholiogist/Speach & language...?
its tricky as those that just need a bit of support are the ones that will not get an EHCP and are dependent on SEN Support level - which may or maynot work...

if your London there also not many private schools who are not highly academic (thats what you are paying for)
my DC couldnt cope with mainstream secondary - but needs not enough for an EHCP and school support/resources not enough.....
so we have gone for private until GCSE and then will see......so if you start at yr9 3 years worth of fees

You will probably get a state place somewhere in yr9 in London - but not maybe where you want and think this can apply in bits of Manchester and def in Bristol & Brighton as well!

If dc may need Access Arrangements for exams you need to get those in place within 3 years of the sitting, with evidence of normal way of working and need. You may find it easier to start such discussion in uk before year 9 to prepare and try different things out like laptop use and extra time.

@averythinline I suspect my DS is borderline special needs like yours...yes he was initially assessed three years ago by the Educational Consultant and she said he had 'auditory processing' issues, can't remember the details, will have to look around for his assessment since it was a while ago.

He does currently get 'intervention' at school with a group of other children, as well as one to one with the TA in his reading comprehension.

I help him a lot at home with his spellings and his dad helps with his Maths.

Do you think there's a chance he might be re -assessed in his new primary if we move back, and possibly given a statement if need be? I suppose that would help him in his applications to our desired secondary schools???

@LIZS interesting point as well that it might be more convenient in the UK to have Access Arrangements (whatever that is) in place prior to him starting his GCSE', hmmmm...

@averythinline yes, we are unfortunately going to be moving to the outskirts of west london... so I don't think private schools there would even accept him, even if we afforded it.

Why does it have to be three whole years or moving now? Perhaps stay two more years then move back, with only one year separate from DH?

@LetsSplashMummy good point, it's because apparently you have to be resident at your UK address when you apply one year in advance for your preferred secondary school. So we have to be living in catchment of our chosen secondary school by Oct 2019 in order to stand a chance of being allocated a year 7 secondary place at that school in September 2020.

Otherwise come Year 8, we might not get our choice as the good secondary schools in our areas are oversubscribed, and we can't really afford private. Seems a big price to pay knowing my DS has to go to a mediocre secondary for 5 years just so I can stay an extra year or two abroad

Plus I find moving house extremely stressful and since our current tenancy at this property abroad would be coming to an end in July anyways, I thought it would be ideal so I wouldn't have to move house TWICE in 3 years.

If you like where you are I would stay. 13 is a good age to move back to UK. The child will probably be ready and they will have a chance of one settling in year before GCSE's. Sounds perfect.

What's your reason for wanting to move back to UK?

@chopc I'm worried about schooling esp for my DS1. He will be starting Year 6 in September and if I want him to attend a decent secondary school in our local area in London, then I need to be resident in the UK by October.

If I wait another year or two abroad then come back I don't know if the local oversubscribed schools will have availability plus I'm worried he himself might find it overwhelming because he has a learning difficulty SpLD. Someone here mentioned it's better to move back and get the ball rolling for him to have Access Arrangements in place before he starts his gcses.

DH is incredibly homesick, hates his job and wants to move back in a year or two anyhow. If he gets a good offer in UK, he says he will quit his abroad job. So I see no point in waiting till then....shame cuz I love it here where we are abroad my kids enjoy it too.

In that case I would move back now if DH could jack his job in at any given opportunity.

Just on SATs - International schools don't have to do them. Some choose to (I have no idea why!). No SATs has always been on if my criteria for school choice. I don't care about the exams but I don't want my children losing terns of class time being taught to a test that isn't for their benefit.