Are private schools worth the £££?

[JamdaniSari]

Hi all :)

We were discussing this at work yesterday and now that I am a mother it really got me thinking.

Are private schools worth the £££?

What if you couldn't afford to send your kids there and they attended an 'average' local state school. How would you go about ensuring they achieved their potential, were well rounded and had the confidence etc which their peers at private school would be expected to possess?

Thanks

My DD1 attended state school up to age 16 and did her standard grades (Scotland). We then moved and she did 6th form at a private school. She went on to uni and got a First in her degree and is a very confidant young woman. However, I think she would have done jut as well if she had remained at the state school. She enjoyed the private school as it brought her into contact with people form lot of different countries and backgrounds and allowed her to do a qualification that really stretched her (IB).

DD2 is 5 years younger and attended private school from age 10. It was worth every penny for her as she was always a quite biddable child who was very overlooked at her state primary. In a class of more than 30 pupils her teacher barely noticed her. The smaller class size in private school allowed her to flourish and the teachers really tapped into her potential. We thought she was fairly average in intelligence but it turns out she is very smart. She is about to graduate uni and is now a polished, confident and intelligent young woman. I think her time in private school has taught her so much more than she would have been offered in state school. We are very lucky we could afford to give her this opportunity and she is very grateful.

I would agree it depends on the kid and the school. My daughter did benefit, her private schools were excellent, she benefited from the small class sizes, the more tailored tuition and the pastoral care also, the schools were very hands on motivational and caring, with a
very individualistic approach, thr teachers were excellent, driven, supportive and highly motivated.

However it's not the same for all private schools. Indeed some are not as good as some state schools.

Just like you get a range of state schools, from outstanding to in special measures, you get a range of private schools also. The difference is the private schools tend to focus on different things to differentiate themselves, so you get the schools who focus on pastoral care, kids who don't perform so well and wouldn't get into the highly selective ones, through to those which are highly selective and hot houses, or those who focus on over seas students and their needs.. And everything in between, So it's different from state. They don't all aim for the same goal.. They go after specific demographics, and you need to pick what's right for your kid. Just like state.

So the answer to is it worth it is yes it can be, if you pick the right school for your child, if you don't, and you could have got the same or better from a state school, then no it's not.

Some schools and industries depend on networking with peers and externally.
It can be just part of the environment and not done consciously to exclude others, but still create elitism.

Romany
Some schools and industries depend on networking with peers and externally
List please

We’ve sent five to private schools and felt it was worth it.

talkinPeace

Entertainment and Music for a start.

Constant networking for the industry to gain work etc So from a business pov and then you often find people working with those they were at college or music school with. This can create a them and us situation which I've experienced a few times, from the sidelines
It's never their intention to overlook others they just choose their mates

romany
Nepotism is nothing to be proud of

Talkin

I agree, but it's often not the intention. I've seen it from both sides in different people. Those inside the little elite group and those outside who tbh are usually more interesting and fun, anyway.
Networking lessons and cv creation for some start around age 14

Ultimately leading to her making a good marriage.

Yep, that one would definitely be worth every penny, wouldn't it...

The thing is, it depends on what you are looking for and expecting from a school. If the intention is solely to come out with fantastic qualifications, perhaps not (unless the state schools really are dire where you live). My understanding is that private school won’t necessarily turn a C pupil into an A* pupil. It isn’t always easy to compare school results because the private schools near me are all academically selective.

There are other things that private schools may give priority to - sport, music, drama, public speaking. Not all private schools will push these and if they do, whether you think it’s worth the money to have them will depend on whether these are things that you especially value.

So we've done lots:
State school 1: London NW tiny school. reception great teaching class of 15.
Year 1: Composite year 1/2 class, terrible, reading book changed 2 x a term, teaching awful, no facilities.
Moved out of London - private school, non-selective absolutely amazing in every respect. Both boys happy. DS1 does 11+ and goes to one of best grammar schools in UK.

Put DD in sister private school - awful teaching, misogynistic, twee....
removed her to another private school which is great.

DS Grammar school is dire, teacher's transient and curriculum narrow, no pastoral care, we tried to move him, but it's impossible at this late stage.

So???? Private schools for us have been so much better than their state equivalents, but you still need to be very careful and do some research. DS would have been much happier and learn more if we'd left him at his prep to 13+ and then transferred him, but we didn't.

My daughter is at private school because:
She passed the exam but wouldn't have passed the state grammar exam,
She is extremely quiet and would have been a target at the local school,
The local schools are not brilliant,
We can afford it for one child and we only have one
She would be at a state school if she'd passed the grammar exam, or had the personality to get the best academically out of a mediocre school.

WHo knows, it is so dependent on the schools in question, child etc.

OUr local state couldn't cope with ds1s inflammatory bowel disease and constantly sent him home so he was getting virtually no education and my job was at risk. HE wasn't settled and we moved him to private for yr1.

THe school is amazing and the vast majority of the boys achieve way beyond what I could have expected for their ages. ACademic, music, sport, drama etc.

DS has a variety of 'soft' difficulties - dyslexia, dyspraxia, sensory processing difficulties, anxiety ++,- plus his physical health issues. HE is way behind the typical child in the school but this is not the schools fault. He gets lots of extra help, 1:1 and small group, and the school is very nurturing. he benefits from a class of 16 in yr3 and the smallness meaning he gets chances to play in teams, get parts in plays etc he wouldn't in a 3-form entry 90 strong yr group. I would love him to be doing as well as his peers (esp re attitude to academic work...)but think at the moment the state system would struggle to provide for his needs, esp physical and emotional.

DS2 has no difficulties so far but is only 4 - who knows if paying is right for him but I felt the boys needed to be at the same school at this stage.

It depends, being the poorest kid at a private school isn't necessarily a good experience and most people just cannot afford private - you can supplement their education in different ways. But if you can afford private education is better usually. Dd has only been private for 6th form and it's amazing

“What if you couldn't afford to send your kids there and they attended an 'average' local state school”
LOL, like the majority of the population?

I have 2 siblings. One is went private, one comp, one grammar. We all have the same level of higher ed and comparable professional careers.

Do what you would do normally for and with your child. If they are into music, sport, other hobbies and interests then support them where you can. Visit museums and galleries for fun. Chat about the world. Visit natural landmarks and if you go abroad chat about the language.

Not as ‘compensation’ for not attending private school but because it’s fun and supporting your child’s interests.

It really does totally depend on the child and other options available.

A private school does a to provide a good all round education (including sport, drama, debating etc etc). It will also ensure your child mixes with other well off children, which has its pluses and minuses (great for networking but can give a very privileged view of life). All the above can be recreated outside of school but it does take parental time and effort.

Private schools are also brilliant at supporting average pupils to do far better than expected. This is good in many ways but can make the uni experience difficult. With the same A levels, state school pupils do far better at uni.

It really does depend on the child, the family and the actual choice of schools (both state and private).

With the same A levels, state school pupils do far better at uni.

I think that the HEFC report on which this claim is based was considerably more nuanced than this - particularly where those with A* and A at A level were concerned.

My silblings and I went to private school from age 4 as have my 5 children. It seems to work fine for our family and I have been happy to pay fees (and am currently paying the twins' university fees and rents so they graduate with no student loan too).

however if you can't afford it or don't want it there are plenty of areas of the country with good state schools where people do ok - you might need to move near a Bucks grammar school or buy a very expensive house in a posh comp area or find god or something.

OP I have has this debate about private v state as we're currently deciding what to do for September for our child.

One thing (not the only thing) that sways me towards private is that most of the extra curricular stuff is included in fees and although the additional afterschool care is extra it is still cheaper (and better in my mind) than a childminder after school, as they get their prep done during that time so no homework at home.

I was thinking about the state route then just using that money for afterschool clubs and a tutor etc but who takes her to all these clubs afterschool? I will be going back to work FT so would have to pay someone to.

By the time you've paid for the clubs and the CM it is then several thousand pounds and you're well on the way to just paying the school fees.

I think doing state and then supplementing with clubs etc only really works if one parent doesn't work or is very part time.

“Most of the extra curricular stuff is included in the fees”? Really. I recall bills for extra curricular for my two of around £1000 s term. Music, dance and drama lessons accounted for most of this. They didn’t have sports coaching - thank the Lord. No schools offer inclusive fees for everything extra.

It depends on the school and area you live in. Dd1 attends a sn school that is rated good. Ds attends a local school rated outstanding and dd2 is enrolled in a nursery rated outstanding for a September start. We are very poor people but live close to a nice 'uppity' village that has good schools/ childcare so we are quite lucky really.

bubbles yes music and dance are extra as well at the school, drama included. But you could choose 5 days worth of clubs every night if you wanted to that were included in the fees, which also is then an extra hour they're at school at no extra cost. I guess it's up to you as a parent if you want to spend more to learn an instrument or do ballet.

The after school clubs are free and there will be several to choose form every day from orchestra to choir, netball or whatever it might be. My sons' prep school had a very nice lady to did a before and after school club too which you did pay for but was on site, very nice and not particualrly expensive. That included a nice breakfast if you went there at 7.30am which mine usually didn't (they didn't often use it before school unless I had an early meeting) and after school some kind of snack.

Those who wanted to learn an instrument are charged in most private schools but that would be the case in most schools from age 7 when they tend to start for a one to one lesson.

I'm a teacher and have worked in both sectors. Now I have seen what's available in the private sector I will be transferring my own children in the near future. What you don't necessarily get is better teaching. Teachers are good or sometimes bad in both sectors.
What you do get is the following:
Smaller classes where the 'middle' children cannot get lost. Teachers can and do pay more attention to all.
A lack of serious disruption to learning during lessons.
Quality facilities
Am atmosphere of high achievement being a good thing amongst teenagers
Contacts. People will dispute this but even in the small non-selective indie I teach in some of the things the parents do are incredible. They readily offer work experiences to their children's friends and peers in some amazing industries.

@yoursworried teachers are always complaining about 'low wages' if they are so low then how can you afford to send your kids to private school?