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Original poster

Looking for cosy and non pressured London prep school

51 replies

freddiemercury · 14/03/2019 22:05

Is there such a thing as a more relaxed London day school?
My son is six and already feeling under pressure with endless tests and assessments at his current prep. He's bright and a perfectionist. However much I reassure him that his results don't matter ... he can't seem to help himself but worry.
I would love a school that fosters a love of learning... rather than the focus being on results.
I'm based in west London.. a very easy drive to chelsea/kensington/notting hill/paddington/marylebone.
I just want a school my son will enjoy attending rather than being in a state of constant anxiety...

OP posts:
MullofKintire · 15/03/2019 16:29

Which secondary schools are you aiming for? London prep schools market themselves on getting their students into highly competitive (and becoming ever more competitive) London day schools. Unless the child is hugely gifted this is going to involve sustained pressure throughout their time at the school. Some schools claim not to be pressured but I do not believe this. I think this comes at a huge cost to many of the children concerned.

If he is already worrying and feeling pressured are you sure that this route is the best one for him? Have you looked at the state primaries in your area? You might find that a less intense environment suits him better. Depending on where you want him to go at secondary level you could move him to one of the boarding preps accessible from west London in Y6. Some of them run buses from West London so he would not need to board, or could flexi board when it suited.

reefedsail · 15/03/2019 17:56

Could you move out of London to be near a lovely, chilled 3-18?

Original poster
freddiemercury · 15/03/2019 18:29

Thank you mull
..I've looked at Caldicott...nice but didn't feel like a fit. Truthfully I don't care about results....he is pretty bright and will get there. And will probably do boarding from age 13... and they are far less competitive to get into. I truly believe what gets anyone thru life is confidence and a love of life. I used to call my son the little ray of sunshine as he was always jolly.... not anymore which breaks my heart. He's too worried. I wouldn't send him to St Pauls/Westminster even if they begged me.
....
So it is literally looking for a school where he will eventually pass his common entrance and no more than that.

OP posts:
Original poster
freddiemercury · 15/03/2019 18:30

And thank you reefedsail... cant move out of London because of work.... both husband and me. And er... I love London!!! Xxxxx

OP posts:
reefedsail · 15/03/2019 18:52

Well, there's to be a compromise somewhere.

Your choices:

Continue in competitive London day schools and compromise his mental health.

Use state schools and take your chances that the Govt don't f*ck that up too much more (I say that as a teacher). Potentially compromise the breadth of his education.

Send him away to board and compromise family life.

Move away and compromise your careers/ choice of location.

From the resounding silence here and what I know, I don't think an idyllic, non-selective, laid-back, 'rural Prep' style school exists in West London.

ConstantlyCooking · 15/03/2019 18:55

Have you looked at some of the bilingual or international schools? Most are less pressured because they are not so focused on 11+ entry. Plus in the bilingual schools he would gain a language. The downside is you would need to organise the preparation for 13+ entry (or transfer to a prep school at the end of Y6)

Original poster
freddiemercury · 15/03/2019 19:17

Thank you Constantly. I hadn't considered... but will now.

OP posts:
MullofKintire · 15/03/2019 20:10

Woodcote House is a lovely nurturing prep and runs a bus from West London. Might be worth a look.

Also if you are looking at 13 plus boarding it really is a buyers market. As you say, it is not that competitive and unless you are aiming for one of a very small handful of senior boarding schools, he will not even need to do common entrance. Almost all secondary boarding schools now offer a separate exam for those applying from the state sector/overseas.

Mishappening · 15/03/2019 20:13

sustained pressure throughout their time at the school. - I could cry. These poor children. Whatever happened to childhood? Sad

reefedsail · 15/03/2019 20:23

Mishappening people don't actually have to live in London/ Guildford/ Cambridge.

There are many, many places where childhood is alive and well.

reefedsail · 15/03/2019 20:27

I suspect the OP wants a West Dorset prep school with West London boutiques, restaurants and bars on the same road. And maybe a pet unicorn.

CampariSpritz · 15/03/2019 20:32

OP, would you consider moving slightly further out (but still London - just): Richmond/Kew/Twickenham/Teddington have some lovely prep (and state primaries, if you are within spitting distance) where childhood is alive and well but academics are being instilled. Good luck.

WoodlandOaks · 15/03/2019 20:34

If you looked at Caldecott would you consider as far out as Maidenhead? Claire’s Court (3-18) - diamond school. Lovely holistic school. There’s also Herries at Cookham (3-11 co-Ed). LVS at ascot is nice as well.

alwaysonadiet1 · 15/03/2019 20:56

Have you considered Abercorn? We have friends there who are happy with it. It's less pushy than most I believe.

Jellycat1 · 17/03/2019 06:28

Hey OP. I hear you. I'm the same. I dreaded the 7/8+ madness which we faced living in SW London (2 boys) and have decided to opt for only doing the CE.
I recently looked at Woodcote House too. Very nice feel. Due to see Lambrook soon. Have you looked at Aldro? I hear they are all about the holistic as opposed to hot housing. Otherwise in London itself maybe Rokeby in Kingston, or Fulham Prep? They seemed to me to more laid back than some.

CrazyCrunk · 17/03/2019 07:01

North Bridge house?

anniehm · 17/03/2019 07:18

We have a couple of non selective private schools who specifically take kids with specific disabilities eg dyslexia who are lovely, ive worked on joint projects and they seem to have happy balanced kids, they are 3-16. I'm sure there's similar even in London - look up alternative schools or nurturing schools rather than prep has that's a loaded word to start with. For boarding my neighbours kids went (as day) to a really laid back artsy boarding school and certainly anyone can get a place, they need students

MimiDul · 17/03/2019 09:16

I looked around St Nicholas Prep - Princes Gate and loved it. They have a Montessori approach in early years and it looked like a relaxed atmosphere. But then again, you'll never know until your child becomes a member of the community. They also use a lot of Imperial College's spaces and they are across the road from Hyde Park. Or Hill House - they are always on the King's Road running around. I haven't visited but you can pop round most mornings and they'll show you round. Eaton Square now goes up to 18 and I suspect that means that they are a little more relaxed. I visited before they became a through school and I felt tension in the air. Or Dulwich College, their 7+/8+ assessments are much more civil and the foundation has buses from all over London to the school and he can board at 11. Visit the junior school before you dismiss it. We chose the 7+ route because we felt it would be better than trying at 11 or 13.

dietcokemegafan · 17/03/2019 10:12

Belmont/Mill Hill is much less academic than many of the others and so less stressful, but maybe too far for you

ZebraZigZag · 17/03/2019 13:45

There are also daily buses to Lambrook and Papplewick from Brook Green. The testing is only going to increase as he gets older unless you find an all through less-academic school which is rare in London. Even at out of London preps they will start gearing up for common entrance. I think co-ed probably helps reduce pressure as boys' schools can run on competition.
I have friends who find Thomas's fairly relaxed as it goes on to 13. For the real relaxed, childhood-loving type schools you probably do have to head out of London.

Zodlebud · 17/03/2019 14:00

If you move just a little out of London you can find exactly what you want. For example, the town of Berkhamsted has a very London vibe - 90% of all house sales are people moving out of London. Cafes, restaurants and 30 mins train into London (and you can get a seat 99% of the time).

Preps in the area - Beechwood Park, Westbrook Hay, York House, Edge Grove all offer a much more relaxed atmosphere. It’s the reason all those people are moving out of London. Much more choice at 11+ and 13+ and all these chools send children to top academic schools and less pressurised ones, both boarding and day. State schools are great too. There are plenty of towns like this all around the M25.

I feel the London love too, don’t get me wrong, but moving out was absolutely right for what I wanted for my children. I’ll move back once they have left home Smile

bengalcat · 17/03/2019 14:14

Redcliffe - Redcliffe Gardens Earls Court ( mixed )

VivianSmith · 17/03/2019 14:47

Lambrook is not what you’re looking for though! Papplewick might be. Have you looked at Fulham prep? It seems to have a broader range of abilities and is therefore less stressy than e.g., Thomas’s. We moved out of London for related reasons and are very happy with our choices, but I can see it’s not worth it for everyone, my commute is awful!

Coppersulphate · 17/03/2019 15:02

OP, look at Broomwood Hall. It has separate prep schools for boys and girls and is not at all pressured.
It is in Wandsworth and sends to a range of boarding schools.
It is lovely and laid back and provides a traditional education.
I have no interest in this school but know lots of kids there that are thriving.

Cheermumintherain · 17/03/2019 16:11

Kew Green Prep in Kew. Also Unicorn in Kew is a lovely school, but very oversubscribed although you may get lucky if you give them a call and happen to have a chance place.