Boarding and summer hols

[floraltrainers]

Trying to figure out how to have dd board and cover the summer holidays. Going to open days over the next few weeks and before I go and get excited about schools what do others do through the summer holidays? I’m currently a sahm but if dd goes off I would like to return to work full time.

Would you not take annual leave? Use holiday schemes, relatives or would they not be old and independent enough to stay home alone or visit friends.

Find term-time work.

Your DC are out of the home so much of the time (and may have find local friendships wither) that it's best to have a parent there as much as possible.

If they have a passion for sport or whatever, you might find a day camp. Or use grandparents aunts/uncles etc. But I think it's important or them to just hang out at home with family. Which is hostile to a working life. But unless you really need the dosh (in which case, is boarding the right choice?) it might be better to put FT career on hold for a few more years. There are quite a lot of termtime/part time voluntary roles that can build skills but leave you more flexible around DC's needs.

what would you do if she didn't board? we did summer camps, took annual leave, swapped days with friends, had a summer nanny, and depending on age of child, left them home alone for a bit while we worked.

Well I’ve been a sahm for a while and forgotten the issues surrounding childcare had a nanny when dd was younger but then became a sahm.
If dd didn’t board I’d continue to be a sahm.
The holidays are pretty long so of course I could use annual leave but can’t see myself being allowed a lengthy time off so would still need a couple of weeks covered plus dh would be able to take a couple too. Don’t have family unfortunately. I’d like to get my career back. But perhaps I have to accept it might not happen then!

Ooo summer nanny sounds like a great option @pallisers

Can you find a job where you could work from home during the summer?
The holidays are so precious when your dc boards.

As a teen (A levels) I did two summers of being a summer nanny for four children who came to stay with their grandparents in the summer and they needed the help.
It was great but I did feel sorry for them boarding all year and sent away in the holidays - at least yours would be at home!

Have a look at the term dates and a think about how you will manage all the drop offs and pick ups. Exeats usually start on a Friday lunchtime.

Now that I have a second boarding school to consider for next year I see that some schools end their terms on a Saturday and start them on a Sunday evening whereas others don’t and you would need to be there early in a Tuesday evening for drop off and collection on a Wednesday lunch time for example.

They only need to bring their suitcases home at the beginning and end of term so if the public transport is good and your child is old enough you can mange the mid term exeats but you will want to be there to collect them at first and often parents meetings tag into the afternoons at half terms and exeats.

School holidays are longer than at day schools and you will need to use your annual leave for as much of it as possible but it won’t cover that much of it.

From around 15 onwards lots of kids end up spending loads of their holidays going ‘on holiday’ with friends - for social kids there are more invites than space to fit them in. Up until then there’s no easy solution that won’t make the child feel shunted round like a spare part. We used to work from home/work from holiday home, but appreciate that’s not easy in many jobs.

Have a look at the term dates and think about how you will manage all the drop offs and pick ups. Exeats usually start on a Friday lunchtime.

This is very important. Depending on the age of your child you (or someone else) will need to assume (even with full boarding) that you'll be making the round trip every other weekend, for one reason or another.

As for holidays - decades ago I remember long dull days at home as both my parents were at work. (And fewer holidays because they were paying school fees.)

You'll be very fortunate if you can arrange/pay for staff. I know the current boarder in the family would have declined any offer of camps or any other organised activities over holidays - generally they just want to relax at home.

Thanks for all of this information! My dh has an incredibly flexible job and so will do all collecting and dropping if I worked and obviously I won’t be looking for some super rigid place like all of my last places.
My brother and sister boarded (me and younger one ‘escaped’) and so I know how when they are home it’s a big deal. (Me and younger sister used to joke that my mum may as well be preparing for the queen to be coming home when sister was coming back for the holidays). My mum was sahm but we actually moved abroad for a while when she left my sister at school for the first term so I’m wondering if I come from a mean family now !

I am just trying to figure out how to manage this and maybe work but perhaps working outside of the holidays may be something to consider.

I haven’t appreciated perhaps I’m being a teeny bit selfish about dumping dd in the summer holidays out of the home when she’s not there all the time so I appreciate the advice.

you will also have longer than usual Easter and Christmas holidays to cover plus maybe a 2 week October half term which is becoming more prevalent. You would need to cover all school holidays if your DD was a day pupil as well - it's not specifically a boarding issue. And you would do what all working families do which is juggle between camps, grannies, au pairs and family holiday to cover the long summer break. Obviously as the kids get older they will entertain themselves, meet friends etc during the day.

Thanks @VanCleefArpels actually I thought it would be much easier for me to work whilst dd is at school over a day school as I won’t have constant school runs to deal with but the longer holidays might perhaps counter any hope of working.

Maybe dh fancies being a sahd for the next round of school years...

Don’t let it crush your ambition, most families have this to deal with and muddle through! FWIW I boarded and my mum worked full time throughout. It just meant being alone some of the time, with friends some of the time and with Granny some of the time. It was quite normal and I certainly didn’t resent my mum

We have a mix of boarding and non boarding and both work full time. It's not easy but we do manage.. Flexible jobs are key of course!

When DCs are 14/15 they will be happy to spend days at friends/visiting relatives or on their own. Not sure how old you DC is but if 13 they can also. Make trips back from exeats on their own, I know many that do when the parents cannot pick up and/or share lifts.

Why not just get a nanny or au pair and she goes to day school while you go back to work?

@Nagsnovalballs I don’t live in London so part time nanny’s are very hard to come by where I live. We could have an au pair but the thought of someone living in the in the house year round isn’t too appealing to us.

floraltrainers do you have a FE college nearby that runs a childcare course? Those students might welcome some summer pocket money and would be good experience/ get them a reference? If no “childcare” required, just maybe company and occasional taxi services do any friends have Uni students at home for the summer who might do this?

You could get an au pair.

You could look for a summer au pair, which will enable you to cover off two months' worth of holidays. Try the 'au pair world ' website and you will find hundreds of candidates. Some are looking for quite short term stays, even just one month so potential here for Easter cover too. DS and I both work full time with sons in full boarding. A combination of summer au pair, some WFH, cricket or riding camp and back to back leave gets us through, with occasional trips to stay with cousins etc. It takes organisation and flexibility from all sides but it is doable.
Please OP don't let the holidays put you off your choice of schooling or work. And don't worry if not every moment of their holiday is filled with excitement. Six day weeks through the term are really tiring for children and some enforced R&R does them no harm.

@Hameldown thanks for your post. This is what I was hoping for someone who works and just makes the holidays work! Having no family means we don’t have the option of some holiday days filled automatically.
Summer au pair sounds like a fantastic plan. I was beginning to worry that perhaps most of the mums don’t work at boarding school if you don’t have family support! I’m not worried about fun packed days in fact that’s what I was trying to avoid, dd having to come home for summer only to be sent off to more camps etc. Instead of just some time at home.
Thanks

Happy to help, OP.
Try www.aupairworld.com .Its not an agency so you need to do your own filtering etc but there are hundreds of candidates, and I now wouldn't bother to use and pay an agent (which I did for years with no better outcomes). My sister also uses Gumtree and swears by it.
Boarding schools have plenty of working parents, and it's not generally the end of the world if you pick up or drop off a little early or late, not like nurseries!!
Good luck