Any tips for first days at nursery school?

[bakedpotato]

dd (2 and 3/4) appears to be looking forward to starting tomorrow. she will do 3 half days a week. we spent an afternoon at the n/s a few months ago, and not surprisingly, she did stick by my side for most of it.

Since then, i've bought her story books about going to nursery school, and we've talked a lot about the 'bigger' children she knows who go, so it's more of a known quantity, in theory at least. plus she's wild about all the kit. (my lord, the KIT! Smocks I can understand, but toothbrushes? What's that about?)

i'm going to accompany her for the first four stints, for 'settling in', and may extend that if neccessary.

am sure the staff will advise us, but would love any pointers on how we can make it as painless as possible.

(BTW, I'd never sneak out while she was involved in an activity... in case anyone was going to tell me how important it is to say goodbye!)

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I left dd (aged 3.6) today for the first time.
When i took her a few weeks ago for the induction day she too stuck like glue to my leg but this morning she was amazing!!
She was pushing a doll around when i told her i was leaving now and she sort of half waved, i made sure she KNEW i was going and she was fine! Was also up at 3 a.m excited!!!!

I've just been telling her that all the children will be nervous the same..........good luck

Be prepared to be firm about leaving even if she's crying. She'll be fine and will undoubtably stop within 5 minutes if you go. I have a personal rule that once I've said goodbye and had my hug and kiss, I leave. Sometimes DS2 waves from a window, sometimes he can't be bothered!

Personally, I wouldn't linger for the whole of the first 4 sessions. Maybe stay for 1 hour the first day and then whittle it down so she eventually stays for the whole time. I honestly think children settle better if their parents aren't there. If I'm at nursery, DS2 goes clingy whereas he's much braver when I'm not there (only yesterday I picked him up shortly after he'd fallen over. He was fine until he saw me and then he played "seriously injured" for the next hour and a half over a tiny graze!)

Just take cues from your DD. You may find she's completely unfazed.

In my wildest dreams, angeliz, my dd will behave like yours... what could be more of a confidence-boost than seeing your child run off and get totally absorbed just like that, within minutes of arrival? congratulations...

Twiglett, i promise not to be downcast if she gives me a kiss and hares off without a backwards glance. nothing would make me happier.

soupdragon, would your advice be that we should both only stay for an hour tomorrow? or just me? i was imagining i'd peel off at some point, but stay nearby, and collect her at the end of the session. 3 hrs isn't that long, and an hour will be spent having lunch (a packed lunch! has anyone got any lunchbox brainwaves, or is that a bit cheeky?).

Just you leaving, Bakedpotato. My idea being that she will learn that this is somewhere mummy doesn't stay but that mummy will come back and pick her up very soon!

Tricky if other mothers do stay but you have to play it by ear really.

DSs both went to nursery for 2 full days from when they were 2 and I have to confess I didn't stay longer than 10 minutes with either of them. DS1 did half days for a month but DS2 went straight to full days because he'd seen the nursery lots dropping off DS1 and if he got upset, DS1 was there for him.

It does seem to be that these things are more traumatic for the parent than for the child .

I think it's a good idea to have a think about what you'll do if she's not happy about being left. Hopefully she'll be fine but some literally have to be peeled off you (like my ds) and will never willingly go in on their own which is an horrific way to start your day. The nursery always encouraged me to give him a big hug and kiss, say "Mummy's going now and I'll be back to collect you later", turn round and go quickly (with him BAWLING in one of the assistant's arms). Sometimes I'd lurk outside listening for how long it took him to stop and it was ALWAYS within 30 seconds of me leaving, so it was purely for my benefit.

I just wanted to warn you as it's very easy to get locked into a situation where you end up sitting there for the whole session, which isn't really the point for either of you!

BTW, dd1 waltzed in from day 1 with barely a wave so children are very different in their approaches, even from the same family!

HTH

One thing that may help if a child unsettled (and recommended by DD's school)is to give the child a clearer idea of when you'll be back. Saying "i'll be back soon/later" is meaningless to a small child but "i'll be back to pick you up when you've had lunch" gives them more of an anchor.

Would second Soupdragon's suggestion not to linger IN the nursery. Is there a cafe/supermarket within a short distance so you can relax (whilst checking your mobile every 3 minutes to check the nursery hasn't rung you..)

this is exactly why i posted this question: yes, v useful to be prepared in case it all goes bellyup. i'm not going to push it tomorrow if she's clingy, there's a lot to get used to, but in general, if i say i'm going, i''ll go.

whenever i've dropped her off at a friend's, she has run in without hesitation so i don't anticipate a meltdown... but this is such a different environment.

Good luck to your dd btw - and to you!