11+ are we setting DS up to fail?

[ZoeZebra1]

Highly sensitive DS wants to do 11+ in September. Goes to ok state primary and has had a tutor since year 4. Thought we were in with a chance but did a timed mock and struggled a little but still got 50-60 per cent.
So, with 9 months to go, what should we do? Anyone any experience of where there child was now and how they did?
DS desperately wants to do this, no pressure from me, but I know of he doesn't get into grammar he will be really upset (mainly because locally there is only one choice of secondary locally and he is bullied and wants to escape them, but that's another thread for another time!)

There is nothing wrong with him sitting the tests but as others have said you need to manage expectations.
For me the biggest danger is not appreciating the difference between the current primary school and a grammar school, they are like chalk and cheese. If your child is struggling with the tests then he is very likely to struggle with the school as a whole and that is a minimum of 5 years.
I would prepare him as best you can without pushing the tutor sessions too much as someone who scrapes a place is likely to struggle in a grammar school. If he does pass without too much help but on the basis of his desire to succeed then he will probably like the grammar school environment and flourish in the school.

Do you think he would thrive at this grammar, if he gets in OP? It sounds like your DS's desire to go there is strong, but have you looked at the available schools, taken a tour and listened to what the headteacher has to say and do YOU think the grammar is the right school for him? Consistent hard work can take even the most average student a very long way indeed, but do you think he will thrive and be happy there? Because having been through this process myself very recently (and still being in it actually), I got very strong feelings one way or another as I looked around schools as to whether they would potentially be a good fit for my DS or not.

Don't do it. If you want to go private there will be other less stressful schools to go for. I really don't think it's fair on your son if he's getting those results now.

It's early to be expecting good mock results in year 5. There is still 7 months to go at least which is a lifetime for a 9/10 year old.
Focus on working at home and with the tutor, take the pressure off at this point but ramp up to two timed papers or pieces a week after Easter. If your tutor isn't setting that kind of homework, consider a new one. During the summer school holidays, do an hour, e.g. a 50 min paper and corrections together. Don't neglect the corrections before tutor class. If he can't do it on repeat, mark it so the tutor can just focus on the learning points rather than spending the session doing corrections.
Hope this helps!

Make sure the tutor is a good one. Ds had one tutor who would sit there reading whilst he did a paper from one of the 11+ packs. This only left 10 minutes at the end to go over the wrong questions. Another one didn't know the format of an exam had changed from GL to CEM. Waste of time and I felt sorry for those that continued with these tutors thinking they were getting a good service as 'tutoring is tutoring. Ask your tutor what they know about the KEGS exam format, what materials do they use, are they ramping up the speed on tests, practising filling out the seperate answer sheet if there is one. What is their success rate for this particular school?

Mock tests with an outside provider from about May onwards are good as you discover where your child sits in this well prepared cohort. The feedback afterwards will tell you where you need to focus.

It's difficult to prepare for the 11+ in a gentle way in a super selective area I think. It's a relentless few months of practising daily and improving speed and accuracy. The Elevenplusexams forum is a great help, especially the talk bit where other parents discuss the 11+ in their own area.
Best of luck!

I agree the 11+ website is really useful; both the forum and resources.

I remember going through the same worry when dd did the 11+ of if she would be up to speed by the time of the test. (Different grammars though). She seemed to get much better at the tests in the last few weeks.

It does not sound as though he is listening to the possibility of not passing at the moment, so all you can do is support him, keep reminding him you do not think getting into grammar is everything and be there for him on results day.

1. Let him sit it and provide what support you can. Often with these tests the more practice you do the better the scores get.

1. Kids have to be allowed to and encouraged to try things that they might well fail at.

BUT:

1. Try to create an atmosphere where it's a fork in the road and life will go on whichever route is taken.

You’re in a tricky situation, if you don’t support him and he is determined he will always remember the missed chance.

If he achieves 100% in class, the mocks might be down to timing and the panic associated with it, my daughter was so worried about the time she failed her mocks. Went from 32% to 86% once she got the timing sorted out and stopped panicking.

Also agree with the fork in the road point.

I’d be letting him do the exam, he’s come this far.

Has the tutor started on Exam technique yet? Moving on, quickly, etc?

My DD scored poorly in her first mock, it so nearly ruined her confidence. We built her back up (turned out they had market it wrong anyway, but we didn’t find that out until after so was so, so upset). She did another mock nearer the time, a different company and did fine.

There’s still a lot of time.

Personally I’d be exploring other options, looking at the other schools, exploring all options amd building him up to take the fear away. You can speak to the other high school and find out what they can do to separate your DS from the bullies and reassure yourself and him.

He may well thrive in the GS environment.

Thanks for all the advice, it's really helpful.

I will let him sit the exam whatever because otherwise he will always wonder what if, and he may resent me down the line.

I had a chat last night with him and suggested we look at all the schools and also explained he would not necessarily have to have much contact with the children bullying him. He nodded along but I have a feeling it went in one ear and out the other, and since then he has been very frosty with me.

I am going to chat with his tutor tonight and have a frank conversation about what we need to do. It's difficult balancing preparation for the exam with not wanting to apply too much pressure.
I spoke with his teacher yesterday and she has given me a list of things for him to work on where he needs further practice and development. She did say that should he make it to grammar she had no doubt whatsoever that he would flourish there and be able to hold his own and was very supportive of him taking the 11+.

So for now I will download some more past papers, and go over exam techniques again with him, and hopefully his teachers input will enable more focused tutoring sessions.

It's eversuch a long way off, there's a huge amount of time to improve. Make sure he understands the techniques and don't time him, then move on to timed tests.

Things such as - if you are stuck on a question, move on. Don’t spend time working out one when you could answer three further on.

Leave the last five minutes and fill in any gaps randomly (if multiple choice) he’ll have a 25% chance of getting it right.

Small things, but make a big difference.

Read widely, know times-tables fluently.

There is always an element of surprise with these things. A child who was sure to get in doesn’t, a child who was borderline does well. Always prepare for all eventualities.

Speak to the pastoral team at the high school, it might seem early days but they’ll be happy to help. Make sure you go to the open days with your DS, and if you still need reassurance book for a tour in school time. You’ll see how the children are, how they move around the school, on a normal day. Most schools IME are very accommodating.

I’ve been through this 4 times. I have learnt to cover all the basis, never be afraid to ask any question, take nothing as a given but most of al, steer clear of conversations with other parents about the 11+. Nothing will get you more worked up than this.

Good luck.

DS just had a go at the 2018 paper with his tutor, 90 per cent on English, 40 per cent on Maths. No idea what this translates to as a score. Can those with experience break this down for me and tell me what we should do (aside from lots of maths work!) Is this doable?

Make sure he has covered all the maths he will need for the exam. He may need to have done year 6 syllabus by the time of the exam. Check with the tutor. Also find out where he was loosing marks; silly mistakes, not enough time or not knowing the maths.

With practice his maths will improve. I do not think it is possible to say just on a forum, not knowing the child, if he can improve enough. His tutor should be more of a guide, but certainly my dd improved a lot in the months leading up to the 11+. At any rate, getting better at maths while he has the incentive, will not be a waste where ever he goes.

What does the tutor say? Are they actually competent in 11+ preparation? They should know what 60% in January translates to in October. If your tutor is not an actual 11+ tutor then you need to switch now, assuming any of them have any space. 11+ prep isn’t just a matter of doing past papers. That’s important for speed but being exposed to the different question types, honing technique, having instant recall of tables and knowing to move straight on if your stuck are all equally vital.