Taking 4yr old out of school

[Casperdog1]

I’m new to mumsnet & hoping someone can provide any answers.
A few days before Christmas my father was diagnosed with a tumor on his lung, so Christmas has been scans & consultant appointments & everything is moving quickly and things don’t look good which in itself is extremely distressing.
I live 3 hrs away but was visiting over Christmas when this all occurred out of the blue.
My 4 yr dd is due to start back 8th January but as we are waiting biopsy next week & results and wondering what my options are for her schooling. I need to be here for my mum & want to be here to spend what maybe precious time I have left with my dad who is having good days and bad & feel it’s important my daughter also has this precious time with her ‘Pops’
I would of asked her head who is lovely but as it’s holidays I’m not sure of what I’m allowed to do etc. She is in reception and whilst young I know they still have a timetable the school follows in terms of pics etc.
Any advice or information would really help me have less to worry about.
The school is a small village school which is an Academy if this info is needed

I would make whatever decision is needed short term and if that means staying with family then so be it.

Call up on the first day back, tell reception a summary so they can code the absence and ask for a call back from the head. Then talk to the head about the situation and see what happens from there.
They might be happy to grant some leave with some packs of fun educational work for DC for a few weeks until you know what is happening. For longer absence I'm not sure how that would be arranged in reception but it won't be the first time staff have had unusual situations.

Most of all look after your family.

Sorry to hear you’re going through this OP. 💐 At that age I’m sure it doesn’t matter too much, family is more important. However if things go on for a while sometimes kids do better with consistency and normality?? And if They can be in school while you do appointments it might be easier for you but if things are not good it’s better you stick together as a family. Best wishes xx

I might be wrong but I didn't think they legally had to be at school until 5 so then you wouldn't get into trouble with school?
But do what you need to do. I think you may need normality and at that age of 4 you may not want them to see too much
I lost my mum at 26 and my sisters had same thing with their children. Some visited my mum but for some when she was really poorly it was too much. Difficult balance.

Thank you, as we are 3hrs away I wouldn’t be able to leave her in school whilst I go to appointments, but yes I think if we’re looking at it going on a long time then routine & normality will help my DD cope with what is happening so come backwards & forwards as needed or if needed maybe I would look at temporary school options by my parents. I suppose I’m trying to plan for every eventuality as it helps me feel in more control of something I have no control over with this illness.

legally they don't need to be in school till the term after their 5th birthday.

Don' t be asking for packs from school but if you do keep her out try some lesson books on core subjects - try the works or similar for inexpensive ones. This will help her feel comfortable out of school, get some of her reading books too - the same series or ask school to borrow some if you want but you would have to get them etc. Try and give her some experiences whilst up there at local museums/library etc

As she is under CSA (compulsory school age) you cannot be fined. But as you did choose to start her at school, she is expected to attend.

You need to talk to the school at the start of term to explain your circumstances. This bit at the beginning, with so many uncertainties can be extremely demanding (once you have a treatment plan, no matter how adverse the situation, it can be easier than waiting and wondering).

So what are you actually asking for? A week's compassionate leave (to cover time until results through)? How settled is your DD at school? What would life really be like for her if staying with your family for protracted periods during his illness? Does she have any friends there?

Who would be looking after her if things were touch and go at the hospital and key family wanted to be there, but the circumstances were unsuitable or too distressing for her?

You're not legally required to be in school, I wouldn't keep her off without good reason but you do have good reason so I would do what is best and not worry about school at the moment. Unless she's constantly missing school through out the next 7 years a one off won't do any harm.