Private? Grammar? Tutor?

[SchoolPanicTime]

Hi! We're currently living in the Middle East and DS (Y3) attends an international school which follows the UK curriculum. We'll be moving back to the UK either this year or next and are thinking about schools for DS.

DH will be working in London and is happy to commute so we were thinking about Kent if we're not in London. We know it's a grammar area for secondary or we could do private education too.

We're just a bit confused as to what school would suit him best. Last year we had him assessed by an Ed Psych as his school were finding it difficult to teach. The report basically identified he had a very high IQ (both verbal and non verbal in the 0.1% range) and was especially gifted in maths. The Ed Psych stressed he need to be stretched academically or he'll be disruptive and unhappy at school.

With that in mind we're obviously hoping to go for a very academic school but the thing is despite the apparently high IQ and definite strength in maths he's never seemed particularly good in other areas - his English seems fine - probably above average but certainly not exceptional. His reading is very good (it was assessed as being a few years ahead of his actual age) but again not exceptional. His handwriting is awful.

If he goes for a super academic school that will be able to push him in maths will he struggle in other areas? Would we have to tutor like mad (we're not at all keen on this) in English to even get him in? I understand Grammars obviously just have a set test and the highest scores get in - how does it work in Indie's is each candidate looked at individually? Would they even want to take on a child like DS who might need extra resources for maths beyond just top set.

Neither DH nor I went to independent schools so I'm not sure but I also get the impression that they value sport and music quite highly? DS is definitely not a sportsman. He's happy enough to get up and join in but he just has no sporting ability whatsoever - always comes last at sports day. He plays violin a little (he's done his grade 1) but is definitely not exceptional there either. He gets on well with other kids but is more of a quirky character and can be very very stubborn and rigid sometimes (I wonder if he's slightly spectrumy). I worry he's not the Independent school type?

Sorry for long rambling post! Thanks for any advice!

I realise we're thinking ahead a bit with secondary schools but we don't want to move again so need the area to have good secondary school options.

Check what's on offer in your area if you are genuinely agnostic about the type of school you want your DS to attend and if money is not a consideration (and would you consider boarding? It would widen your search area). Also worth considering whether you want him to do 11+ or CE (13) - they lead to different types of schools. My advice is work backward, trawl Mumsnet and check out the good schools guide.

'Spectrumy' (new one on me but I think I know where you're going there) plus your description of your son makes me think you need to explore that area further before worrying about which general type of school to go for.

It's commonly said but quite often disregarded that you need to find a school which suits your child, not the other way round,so there is no ideal type of school.

Also, if you decide further down the line to apply for independent schools when you go back, it would not be a bad idea to check now his level in maths, English, verbal and non verbal reasoning, e.g. with Bond books to see whether he needs a bit of practice or whether there are gaps (international UK curriculum schools do not always adequately prepare for independent schools entrance exams).

Thanks so much for the advice. I hadn't heard of the good school guide so I'll definitely browse there.

Thanks for the advice about bond books too will definitely have a look. For the maths he'd quite happily do the 11+ maths papers now, he also finds verbal and non-verbal reasoning easy but I don't think he'd excel in an extended writing or comprehension exercise.

lol yeah spectrumy isn't the best choice of words - I asked the ed psych what she thought and she could see traits buts felt it wasn't enough to get a diagnosis and wasn't necessary unless he starts to struggle in the future (although she wasn't qualified to actually diagnose anyway so this was just her impression).