Top or bottom

[Questions150]

My year 7 dd has started at a very academic school which has every opportunity imaginable and is where she wanted to go, and everyone we know in tea life has said and continues to say how lucky she is to go there. She really likes the school except one thing.

The one downside is she is in the bottom sets for everything and she feels miserable about the work and is finding the level of work difficult to complete even in this set.

She loves everything else about the school but the crucial thing about the school environment the actual work.

So now I’m faced with a decision do I move her to a different school that has a lower academic standard so that she can be working at a pace that means her self esteem is higher, but doesn’t offer anywhere near the same extra curricular opportunities

Or do I keep her where she is in the hope that it’s new starter nerves?

I am so incredibly torn. She goes through being like I want to stay to please find me an easier school.

Any opinions or experiences as to which school or how long to give it or anything else.

I don't know but I would guess that if she is struggling in the lowest set she will end up getting further and further behind.
The most important things are that she is happy and that she is learning. How can she really be happy if she is constantly struggling and her self esteem is low?

I also think it matters what extra curricular activities. For example if she is an amazing violinist and they have an amazing music program that's one thing. If it's just that she enjoys lunchtime netball that's different.

It’s both music and sport. The music is the orchestra, ensembles and bands she is already in and opportunity to join. For a number of these she’s the only year 7 but is a high enough standard.

Sport she loves all sport and is doing numerous hours a week.

This is why there’s the conflict she loves these elements and feels good about herself in these areas, just not the classroom.

The only realistic alternative doesn’t have anywhere near the same music opportunities, and is just the standard twice a week pe lesson with lunch time club.

Sport I can organise outside of school but it will be more hassle with driving around but that’s a minor consideration with regards to everything else.

Music I don’t think it will be possible to compete with options as it appears all local outside school options take place on Saturdays so could only choose to do one not multiple.

That sounds an amazing school opportunity wise. Is it a private school? Bottom set in a state school isnt likely to vary a lot is it? Can you see her tutors to see if shes seriously behind?

Private and it is amazing and she appreciates and loves all the extra curricular part.

The alternative for where we are is an outstanding comprehensive. Which is fine academically because there will be broad range of ability. But not the other opportunities.

Tutors say it’s early days but that she appears to be doing fine in class - she says she’s not as in she doesn’t feel she’s keeping up with the work

Given that she's only been there a few weeks I'd be inclined to leave for the moment. If she feels the same next term then move her.

I imagine that starting at a fiercely academic school could be difficult if you're used to being near the top of the group? Was she tutored to get in? If not I would accept the reassurance of the teacher for now.

Why not reach an agreement with her? Re-assess at Easter and maybe move for Y8 if still not happy?

I guess the bottom line is that an unhappy child will not benefit from the opportunities on offer. Does she appreciate how well she has done to be only Y7 in orchestra?

Hi this was me 25 years ago! I got accepted to a local private school with music excellence place. I had gone to a very average state primary where I was in the top groups for everything but at my new school I was very run of the mill in most things and positively bottom for maths! Was a bit of a shock to the system!
I t took me a while (at least a year) to settle properly but I did love all the extra activities, got good GCSEs (although not straight A's) good A levels and went to a posh uni. I'd say persevere and keep nurturing your daughter. Remind her that she just needs to do her best and she is now amoungst the cream of the crop so to speak. I'm sure she'll find her niche.I did eventually also get in to debating and public speaking that I was pretty good at and that boosted my self esteem a but. I don't think at the time I'd have had that option elsewhere. I'm still friends now with my like minded friends from my old school..even though they are all still more academic than me :)

No no tutoring, and her marks were not scraping in either. I wasn’t expecting her to be top sets, but I am surprised she’s finding the work so difficult in the lower sets.

Yes she does recognise the music achievement which is good for her esteem.

I like the idea of leaving it and reassessing in a term or two time, but just worry about her.

Maybe it's just different and she needs to get used to secondary school. Did she go to a state primary and does this school have a adjoining prep school? Initially the prep school pupils can be at an advantage as they have had more specialist lessons - geography, maths. Languages. Science, art etc...

Do they set for everything? I'm surprised. My Dcs school only set for maths until year 9, which gives everyone a chance to catch up to their correct level.

will she be allowed to continue participation in the extra curricular activities if she struggles academically?

I would wait until half term, but if she’s struggling with the work (doesn’t matter what set she’s in) then I would suggest scaling back some of the sport and music until she finds her feet. And if she’s still unhappy at half term then reassess.

Just as an aside, if the local state school is very well regarded you might find there are no places, so you might want to think about what other options you have.

She was at a prep school, and was middle of her cohort so hasn’t gone from top to bottom.

They set for maths, English and languages and the other subjects are based on your English set.

She will be allowed to continue in the extra curricular because of how the school day is it is part of the timetable.

The reason why I say about being bottom set and struggling is we don’t need have the option to say can we move down, it’s why it feels like it’s move out.

That is a very good point re space available I don’t currently know the answer to that I haven’t gone that step yet.

Rogue need it should just say we don’t have the option

It could just be the step up in standard.
I have some middle to high ability year 7s and some of them who were probably top 1/3 are finding the jump to our ks3 curriculum difficult.

Personally, if the rest of the school is good then I'd work on building some resilience. In any place there has to be a bottom set but the bottom of an academic school isn't the same as the bottom of a failing school that's not hit the floor standard for 10 years.
Give it time and then review later in the year.

it doesn't sound like there's a mismatch between her academic ability and the school. i wonder if she's going into classes anxious, and her anxiety's acting as a mental block so she can't focus and take stuff in, which then reinforces her belief that she's not getting it and isn't up to it and causes more anxiety? in which case some reassurance from the teachers and some strategies to relax in class could help...?

Has she only just started? If so it may be difficult to distinguish between her being of lower ability or her just having been at a less pushy pre-prep. I would discuss this with her teachers. If the class is genuinely moving too fast for her to catch up obviously she won't be getting the benefit of the education, It sounds like quite a stressful pushy environment if they're already very well aware of sets and work load. Most prep schools have good facilities and extra curriculars without overworking or stressing the young children. What in particular is she doing that couldn't be found at a different school outside school?

There could be a mismatch of her perceptions about how well she is understanding and completing her work, and what the teachers are actually expecting / what other students are really achieving. It might be worth picking apart with her and her tutor a bit more what she is finding difficult. In a different situation, we've just gone over some maths with our yr 11 daughter - she knows she's in the top half of the class but really felt she was struggling more than anyone else at the beginning of term as they launched into extra / further /whatever it's called maths work. A bit of boost and I think her confidence is coming back.