When did DC start attending parents evening with the parents?

[Miljah]

Just curious!

I know I hadn't realised you were supposed to have your child with you when you went, in 2004-5, having just arrived from abroad!

Last parents evening I knew of was in 1980, where I, as the student, certainly wasn't invited along !

Students should be there! The difference between now and 1980s is that students are seen as having a voice and an active participant in their own education.

FWIW, the better independent schools have had senior school students involved in parent teacher conferences since the 1990s. It's just taken a long time for this to catch on.

It's a good thing.

Our primary tend to put out some construction in their little breakout areas for kids to play with while their parents are in with the teacher.

DD1 found the whiteboard and pen out there that had been used for phonics earlier that day and proceeded to give all the assembled parents waiting to go in a lesson on spellings for the long vowel a phoneme. Was bloody embarrassing for me but the Head wandering by on her tour around to check all was well was in fits of giggles. (It was all bloody correct as well!)

At least it avoids the situation my parents found themselves in with my chemistry teacher. He looked at my name on the list, looked puzzled, then asked them to describe me!

At DD's last parents evening, her computer science teacher had to ask her name, then he stared at his list, looked puzzled and proceeded to tell us something so generic it could have referred to anyone. He clearly didn't have a clue who she was (parents' evening was in June, so he'd had most of the year to get to know her).

So it doesn't always help :)

Back to the original question, I don't know when things changed, but my DC's junior school (from about 5 years ago) also insisted on DC attending with their parents - they had to pre-select a piece of maths and a piece of English they wanted to talk about.

We attended from either year 10 or year 11.
For my dc they're expected to attend from year 7. And the conversation goes something like this:
"Now student, how do you think you're doing?"
Student mumbles something indistinct.
"Yes, you didn't do too badly in the last test. Have you ?"
Student looks embarrassed and either says yes or doesn't answer.
"Okay. Here's a piece of paper with our curriculum on it, and a web page they can look at if they're interested."

The entire exchange is entirely round the student and their feelings. Anything you want to say without them hearing "They're finding X a problem because they're sitting behind them and talking" or "They seem to have got the wrong end of the stick in Y" or similar is much harder to sort out with them there.

I went with my parents when I was in Y10 (then went without them in 6th form).

My children have come with me since the end of Y5 as that is when they seemed ready, there were no rules from the school one way or the other.

It's helpful (speaking as a former teacher) for kids to come to secondary PEs. They can point out their teachers, the teacher has a familiar face (helpful if you teach several classes), and most of if all the student hears the feedback.

Even now we don't invite children to our primary school parent's evening, and ideally prefer parents not to bring children with them, if they can. When DD was at primary her school didn't encourage children there, and we didn't take her - we used to take it in turns to watch over each other's child with a friend.

All the way through secondary DD has been invited to her parents evening with us. Its useful as she could take us to the right rooms quicker, and point out which were her teachers. they also would address her during the consultation.

I don't remember going to parent's evenings, even at secondary, though back in the 80s.

It's usual at secondary level and not at primary.

A certain level of maturity is needed to sit and listen to a teacher talk about your progress and attitude and next steps, and also an understanding of what is being discussed.....which younger primary age children would mostly lack, making the child's presence inappropriate at primary level.

Many students at secondary level find the whole experience a bit awkward, but it is really valuable for them to hear what is said and listening to feedback about yourself is a valuable skill to develop. As said previously, teachers often talk to the students about the content and skills of their courses and give advice for next steps to them too...the parents are there to hear the feedback, so they can then give parental support and also ask any questions they have. Not all secondaries have Yr7 at parents' evenings but most have all other year groups .....very important.

I rejemver going to my brothers parents evening cos he was at was over a friends and mum didnt have aby child care for me but not my own

I helped serve the teas and coffees at secondry PEs from year 9, but again didnt actally sit with my parents while they talked to my teachers.

Only went them to talk to tutors in 6th form colllege

Never as a child (left school in 1990).

As a parent - primary, no children allowed at parents' evenings.

Secondary (2 at different schools) - has been compulsory to have children there right from Yr 7.

Our primary school encourages it and I don’t like it at all. I try and arrange a time when DD is at an Afterschool activity so she can’t come. I don’t feel comfortable talking with her there and I feel the teacher can’t be as open with me.

I went every year from 1999 to 2006

My senior school did this in the early 90s and it was certainly well established - probably going back to at least the 80s, if not earlier. I found it really helpful at the time and I have also found it really helpful as a teacher. You get to have a 3 way chat about progress and expectations with the student and their parent(s).

In primary school, children were expected not to attend. I remember attending the school with my parents and having to sit outside the classroom whilst they went to see the teacher (1970's). For my dd (same school!) any dc who attended were looked after in the nursery classroom whilst parents waited and for dgs (different school) again dc are looked after in school.
Secondary school (1978-83) I had to attend every parents evening and so so did my dd (noughties), however at her 6th form college parents meetings were held during the day and dc strictly not allowed to attend, which I found rather odd.

I went to primary school in the 90s and only went once, when my parents had nobody to look after me. I wasn't allowed to go with them to the table and had to wait just out of earshot! I felt very uncomfortable even though I was only about 8 or 9. Generally I stayed with a DGP but for whatever reason I couldn't that year.

In secondary school students went with their parents. Sometimes we just sat and listened to the adults, sometimes it was more a teacher/student discussion, sometimes a bit of both. Depended on the teacher.

Some parents at secondary take their kids but I certainly don't - how honest is the teacher going to be with little Johnny sitting right there?

Really honest Piper! I always was. As a parent, I want to hear the truth, and I want my kids to hear it too.

DDs' primary did it from Yr4 onwards, then secondary did it from Yr7 onwards. I've always found it really valuable.

Encouraged at secondary

In fact, we encourage all students to come even if there parents aren't. Particularly KS4. Lots of parents either work (or just not interested). Pastoral staff/year leads often accompany more vulnerable/tricky kids if they're alone.

I'm a secondary teacher and much prefer it without the kid there!

Students tend to come to parents' evenings where I've worked.
I tend to find it can be quite nice as it's an opportunity to praise children on front of their parents. Equally, most parents are really supportive and it can be amusing watching coasting students squirm when you say 'personally, x has lots of potential but has the tendency to do the bare minimum'. I really like the 3 way discussion.

Our primary school has children attend from year 1 onwards and they request that they do wherever possible.

Secondary they definitely should attend.

Educating children is a partnership between the school, the pupil and the parents. You wouldn't have a meeting at work with one of the major stakeholders missing so why do it at Parent's evening.

*Students should be there! The difference between now and 1980s is that students are seen as having a voice and an active participant in their own education.

FWIW, the better independent schools have had senior school students involved in parent teacher conferences since the 1990s. It's just taken a long time for this to catch on.*

I agree with this. It's their education not ours! I went with my parents in the 90's - I was at a private school. I've gone to them with the kids from year 3 onwards.

Nobody did at my primary school (89-96) We might go along due to childcare but the kids would play in the hall or something, we didn’t go to the meeting with the teacher

At my high school (96-01) I think most of us went. I was often one of the kids volunteering to help out so was there anyway.