Bursaries as a single parent help

[dustiseverywhere]

Hi, have recently become a single parent.

My ex has parental responsibility for the children and sees them regularly.

We are separated not divorced and he is not co-operative about divorcing, so looks like this will remain the status for some time.

My ex works and is a high earner. I cannot work, I am medically retired from work due to serious ill health. My ex pays me maintenance each month for the mortgage and bills etc.

My son is off to secondary school soon. He's really bright and the plan was that he would take some scholarship exams for some of the private schools round here.

However my ex says he won't pay the school fees at a private school, he wants my son to go to a standard state secondary school.

I would prefer my son to go to a private if I can - they are tons better than the two local secondaries we have a choice of.

But I can't afford the fees and my ex won't pay.

Can I ask for a bursary from the schools on a single parent application the basis that:
a) I cannot work and live on disability benefit and my income / expenditure balance is down to the last £10 each month.
b) my ex DOES have parental responsibility and sees the kids regularly BUT isn't co-operative about paying private school fees?

Will any schools look at b) and say that because he has PR that I will have to complete the father's section of the application form, even though I know that we will get diddly squat on that basis.

I don't want to be greedy or a CF and apply to something that I won't get. My son can go to state school. But I am exploring my options so please don't flame me for having a thought and exploring it.

Sympathies. My ex won't help with the fees. If I couldn't pay out of my salary dd would be at state. Bursaries tend (round here) to say upper salary limit of £60k.

They look at the salaries of both parents. You will have to talk to him.

Sadly I think the vast majority of scholarships and bursaries are a fraction of the full fees and as PP said, they will look at both parents' means if you are still married. Even if you weren't, I'm not sure you'd get a significant enough discount, but you'd need to check the specifics with the private schools local to you. Certainly your ex couldn't be compelled to pay private school fees.

Some bursaries cover everything (scholarships are less likely to) but it would be difficult to argue a need when his father could (but won't) pay. Another family could argue why should DH bother paying if he can get it for free. I don't think there's any harm in going to explain your situation though - if they're keen on DS they might find a way of helping.

Out of interested what is ExDh's objection - does he just not want to stump up for the fees or does he prefer the state option for DS? What is DS's preference?

Unless you are divorced and have an written agreement who pay, how much, what is not included, you have a very small chance for a bursary.
As you know a bursar will take into account a lot of factors. Speak with him stating your family gross profit, number of children, mortgage’s ammount paid and left, a cost of the house, area where do you live, car you drive, food you eat, holidays. It won’t be bad to ask- how many bursary applications the school got last year. Then you will see your chances.
If not, then you can discuss with your husband another option- relocation closer to the best state school.

In London it tends to be approx £40k total income (assuming no accessible assets/savings) for up to 100% bursaries. Then up to £80/90k total income for lower end (say 20% I guess) bursaries. They usually look at both parents if both have parental responsibility.

Also worth looking at grammar schools, depending where you are you may find travelling a little further means you can access one (quite a few don't take into account distance from school).

Im not sure where you live but try Reeds in oxshott , they have bursary places for single parents.

Forgot to mention it would be boarding