11 plus Mock Disaster - what now

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DS sat a (known to be very challenging) Mock 11 plus a couple of weeks ago. He was nervous but in a normal before-an-exam way rather than shuddering wreck.

He's a bright boy and always been in the top groups of his class throughout his school career although sometimes just scraping into it for Maths. However he is quite slapdash and every teacher he has ever had says he rushes and make silly mistakes.

I was pretty sure he'd done badly when he came out and said he'd finished with 15 minutes to spare and it was "easy". I got the results today and he totally tanked it. The Maths grade in particular was abysmal but everything was bad. It was his first formal exam in a strange place but still.... He did well in his year 2 SATS but I guess that is a lot less formal? He's not at a prep so no exam prep at school but we have done practise stuff at home which has been okay.

So what now? - I am pretty sure the issue is him not reading the questions properly and rushing through everything. I've been trying all year to get him to slow down but to no avail. His confidence is easily crushed (though he seemed so pleased with himself after the exam).

Do I just show him the marks and hope it's a wake up call?
Has anyone managed to turn this kind of situation around?
Is it just cruel to carry on down a selective route if he has no aptitude for exams?
He registered for two 11 pluses in September but was also hoping to do Independent schools exams in January.
Any advice gratefully received.

*practice papers

Tbh the 11 plus in many areas is weighted towards maths (just because of the style of exam & the way it is scored) so if he’s academic in other ways it may make things harder.

Ds3 is more academic than Ds2, but he loves the humanities. Ds2 also responds well to pressure and ups his game, Ds3 goes to pieces. So the not as academic one went to grammar (and did absolutely fine) and the more academic is at a non-selective and doing well (& thriving without the pressure).

When I began to think that ds3’s intelligence was the ‘wrong’ sort for the 11 plus I talked up the alternative schools, discussed the downsides of the grammar (of which there are many). This was helped by Ds2 being at the grammar - so it was perfectly obvious it isn’t a particularly special place - just a rather old fashioned style of teaching and school.

Ds3 did pass the mock btw - and reasonably comfortably. But bombed the real thing - I wasn’t surprised (or by the mock mark). Thought it would depend very much on how he managed to control his nerves on the day.

It’s a bloody awful system. Big up the alternatives the results don’t matter as much.

How did they moderate/grade the mock?

My daughter did one a few years ago and didn't do well at all overall (although they said she came 3rd out of 120 in the group for non verbal reasoning, she was right at the bottom of the group for the numerical and verbal sections). Turned out that they actually moderated them against the self selecting group of tutored children taking the mock rather than the total population in the real thing. My daughter didn't have any tutoring, but gained a really high pass in the actual test.

My husband insists that a lot of companies tell most people that they need to keep up the effort in order to sell more tutoring services/ resources.

Your DS sounds just like my DS.

I sat him for mock 11+ and he tanked it. I thought he was quite clever so it was a bit of a shock. I never told him his mark but I also knew two other boys who had a similar experience at the same time, one of whom was extremely bright. I didn't want to dent his confidence, but realised it may not be as straightforward as we thought.

DS just missed out on the grammar schools but got into all the private schools he sat for.

His really clever friend who tanked in the mock got into a super selective.

Don’t panic, don’t lose your belief in him. Regular practise over the summer will get him over the line.

It is worth avoiding fees if you can. In most areas Grammar school and private school kids will be very similar, if anything the Grammar kids will be more motivated, and there is often a fair amount of swapping around at sixth form. I think Bubbles' DDs went to boarding school, which is different - and a lot more expensive. Sporty kids at day school will normally be doing most of their sport in clubs or in a county structure, so actually being at a "sporty" school where you are expected to turn up for school matches, especially if on a Saturday, can be a pain.

See it as a positve. How to get a child to understand life balance and revision. For example we let DS do a cricket scheme on condition that he did an hour before he went and an hour after. No pressure, and this understanding of how small amounts add up, has stayed with him. We also told him that the Grammar exam, which was first, was a chance to master exam techniques, getting used to being in a different place and so on. No mention of pass or fail. He did not pass though came pretty close, but got the private school of his choice. It was apparently very clear in the Grammar exam (Tiffin) how stressed some kids were. Crying, throwing up etc. Some of the mums stayed outside the gates, wailing. He did understand that he was lucky to have options. And found the private school exam a much nicer experience.

Are you in a grammar area, or is he trying for super selectives?

I would try and support her m to be less slapdash, and definitely tell him that finishing early caused him to not pass.

Also Explore any good comps that might be a possibility. If you are not in a full Grammar area comps have a representative number of ‘top set’ grammar ability students.

The 11+ is a flawed system and Grammars don’t really do any better by their students than a good comprehensive school.

Thanks for all your input, it is much appreciated and there is lots of really useful things to take on board.

To answer a few questions - he did the mock for a super selective (run by the PTA) but the grammar we are aiming for is a catchment grammar. Lemoncurd I'm not entirely sure how they graded it but it was given in % in the cohort and marks for each section. The parents waiting outside were very, very invested and I would put money on the kids being hot housed from birth!

I have all the local comprehensive open days in my diary so that's definitely going to be an option - I understand they are all good (we only moved into this area a couple of years ago so don't know many people with kids at local secondaries as yet.

We were in exactly the same position last year and I posted almost exactly the same post so completely understand how you feel. DS did pass 11 plus after doing really badly in mock and starts grammar school he wanted in September. I'd say don't give up and go through the paper again. When we did this DS was reassured that he did know far more answers than he thought. If tutor group don't do it then work on timing and technique. After the mock we switched to practising 10 minute tests which seemed to help in increasing speed. Hope that helps and good luck.

I have not much to add except use this as a positive he tanked his mock so you can help him pass the real test

Mine did really well on one side but also tanked the maths, got stuck on one hard question even though we had said move on.

I will be doing some timed tests myself, we have no tutor but I am drafting in someone for about three sessions on maths, and she is doing one off talk on exam technique.

If you think he is having trouble with concentration and timing, start with shorter tests - I found that the 10 minutes tests for the year 6 SATs were a much better demonstration of time management for my own DD as she could see that she had tons of time left yet had missed out a question ....

Unfortunately, I didn't discover this method until after the 11+ so I'd try that now tbh! DD is not someone who does well in tests but remarkably, she seemed to finally get the knack before the SATs.