My poor son

[imstartingtogetangrynow]

Hi all.
I am awake worrying about my child who is being bullied at school. We had another incident on Friday which is beyond disappointing.

And a lot more details which would be outing so please let me be vague.

We have followed this up with the school over two years and even if we get to the peak of escalating I can't see things changing to the degree we need for my son to go back to feeling safe at school.

So racking my brains for ways forward. Has anyone moved their child mid primary but also managed to get them moved down a year? He is summer born, premature, and falls within a priority admission category. Is it the LA or school that makes this decision?

Thank you, feeling a bit desperately sad and angry for him.

So sorry to read this. Really any good school would not have let this go on for 2 years!

I would look at other options and at the same time reconnect the school and stress this must stop and ask for them to issue you worth exactly what steps they will take.

My gut would be to go with a fresh start.
Am outside the uk where it is very common and easy to have your child moved a year (ds class span 2 years of age). Not sure this is so easy in the UK.

I would be focusing on finding a school with strong pastoral care.

I would go and look at other schools! The school is not handling the situation and all well.
I have known one boy who was moved down a year in the state system - but I'm not sure it worked really well (he had a lot of issues in his teens which partly came from him being in the "wrong" year). Also if your DS has any SEN a lot of teachers might assume being held back a year should "cure" it - which is not the case.

I don't know about moving down a year but certainly changing schools seems your best way forwards. I have moved all of mine once during their primary years and although there is a settling in period after the move they each have benefitted enormously from the change to a school better suited to them and I do not regret doing so. I moved them all from the same place but at different times and for different reasons. Two go to one school now and the third is at another school that suits her better (SEN issue).

Thanks I really appreciate everyone's input, it is just so hard to work out the best thing to do. He really struggles with change so thought making best of the current situation was the best thing to do. The school have been really great to a point. But I think we've reached the limit of what they are capable of/ willing to do. It's not right but I can't fix it in enough time to help my child.

I am thinking a new school really is the way forward, as you are all saying. It's good to hear the negative of moving can be outweighed by the benefits.

Better get on with it then..

Thanks again

If anyone new reads this I would still be grateful for experiences of arranging for your kids to repeat a year.

I think in your situation I would be tempted to pull out of school for the rest of term, as there's only 3 weeks left. Tell them you are temporarily home schooling (but then de-school instead).

I would go and look at other possible schools, especially talking to the HT (who sets the ethos) and the SENCO/Pastoral lead.

I can see why you might want to repeat a year, but I don't know anything about that, and suspect it might be hard. My DD is prem, some SpLD and adopted (so priority admission category) but is autumn born so moving a year would never have been a possibility, even though it might well have benefitted her.

If you can get any 'experts' to write down saying that in their professional opinion the child would be better suited to the year below due to their maturity then that might help. However you would need to watch out that they weren't made to go straight into y8 at secondary, and whether they would be eligible for 3 years in 6th form if needed (which is permissible for all pupils normally).