Repeating Reception

[B262]

Sorry I am not sure if I am posting this in the right thread...
But I have been looking for existing threads regarding 'Repeating Reception year' and I just need to get advice from parents who have been through this, and if they had a positive experience by repeating reception or not.

My son was born 3 months premature and he was a twin, he weighed a little less than 2lb, despite all the difficulties in first few weeks of his life, he has done brilliantly and I am very proud of him.
We noticed his odd behaviour around 18 months+ and were worried about ASD/ Autism, we did two assessments, one was positive and one was negative, it wasn't a clear cut.

He started reception in our local state school, with EHCP in place, and I felt the school wasn't doing a good job and he was overwhelmed with 30 children in a classroom, so put him in private school (small setting) but spent a while going to different private schools, as not many support children with additional needs, we found this school and the Senco was very very good, and said they have had other children with similar needs to our son, and she was very supportive.
He has almost full time 1-1 TA, the only issue is, he moved to the new school in February, so almost halfway in the academic year, the new school were academically further ahead than his previous school, so he missed out a bit, and they're helping him to catch up.

He is under OT, SLT at the moment and the school is doing a good job, we also had ABA for 2 years before he started school.
He is a bright little boy, he's petite in 3/4 yr old clothing, but he's super hyper, not so much at school but at home. He shows traits of ASD, visual stimming etc.., and gets distracted easily. He knows more than he can say as his speech is around 3/4 year old level, but I think he knows more, but because he can't say what they ask of him sometime, he comes across as though he doesn't know it.

The school is scoring him low in social, communication, self care etc.. around 22-36 month level, some skills around 30-50 and some around 40-60. They said he would benefit from repeating reception, but he is a September born, so he's already one of the oldest in his class, if he was to repeat reception he'd be almost 2 years older than some of the children! How would he feel when he's older knowing his is a lot older than his peers, self confidence? bullying? I am so torn and don't know what decision to make. He's made new friends in his year, and he's very popular, even children in year 1 and 2 play with him. But I think they like mothering him.
I asked the Senco to get an Ed Psychologist on board to know what their view is, and also other professionals. But I wanted to know if anyone had gone through this, and what decision they made, and if they're happy with their decision.
Sorry this is a long post, and apologies if similar post has already been added, but any advice is much appreciated.

@Needmoresleep your story is very inspiring thanks for sharing it. It gives me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hardly a good quality statistic but high schools can take pupils at the 'wrong' age - our local academy has at least one child who went a year late and has stayed within the 'wrong' year group since repeating reception. I think academies have more flexibility, especially if you find a decent one who puts pupils ahead of school performance.

This sounds so much like one of my twins who’s 20 months old - he wasn’t as early or small but had IUGR so was small for his gestation. He has a sudden regression at 18 months. He’s having an MRI soon as they’ve found his optic nerves haven’t developed properly. Have they properly investigated any possible physical / neurological issues?

My little boy was also 3 months premature, less than 2 pounds. We are in germany so a different system, but he stayed behind in kindergarten for an extra year. Despite being the oldest, he is still quite small, but would have been absolutely tiny had he gone to school when he should have. We are so pleased he had another year to mature and grow a little with less pressure.

@SinkGirl my twins also suffered from IUGR and they had to be born via planned csection.
We had ADOS assessment twice which one was positive and one was negative, so not clear cut. But gut feeling is that he could be on the ASD spectrum.
Do let me know what the outcome of the MRI scan is please, ive read a lot about IUGR and I think it affects their development when they're outside womb, but they eventually catch-up when they have the nutritions they missed when in womb and with the right intervention.

@efeslight thank you for your post, it is reassuring to hear other people story. My son is tiny, in 3/4 year old clothing, and I feel he acts like 3/4 year old too.
How old is your son now? And how is he doing in school?

Op, since I am on my theme, do get a diagnosis as soon as it makes sense - DDs dyslexia assessment was done when she was 7, which is probably as early as it was sensible to be. It was useful, not as a label, but to explain why some things are difficult. In time DD developed some impressive compensating skills, including being able to remember what is said in class, so revision was best done orally (I reckon would have passed a few GCSEs simply from testing her), or at University by rewatching taped lectures. As well as her understanding why she struggled to get, say, class tests completed, it was useful for her teachers to understand why her marks bounced all over the place (a standard comment was her contributions in class far exceeded her "disappointing" exam results) and why some things, like being asked to read aloud, would cause her real difficulty.

She had been a failing to thrive baby so the first couple of years were dominated by medical stuff and she ended up severely under weight and with little experience of being with other children. We were told that she would either catch up fast or there woud be gaps. The most obvious was socialisation. At nursery girls can already be quite sophisticated, so boys were much easier. Indeed some boys seemed to take till about the age of 7 before they were ready to settle down at school. We noted a few changed schools at that point to get a (sucessful) fresh start. She was probably up to speeed social aged about 9, and the rest, apart from some missing tooth enamel - worth asking the dentist to look when adult teeth come through as they start forming soon after birth - was fine, though perhaps the dyslexia is linked.

When it came to secondary, my instinct was guided by the fact her friendship group was made up of nice purposeful and academic girls. I wanted her to go to the same sort of school as they were going to. In her case sport probably helped her get a place, and then gave her something to be good at. One of her sporty friends with a spcific diagnosis and academic issues (and an equally snotty but different prep school head) moved from London to a school with a strong reputation for sports where she has done just fine. Equally though a couple of DS' contemporaries, both lovely sociable boys, drifted through early dyslexia support into specialist provision. You dont know. (And indeed one of the more sucessful people we know attended a specialist boarding school, having had to leave a mainstream school.)

So dont let the education system grind your child down. Your DS probably has two more decades of education, and it is not a race. Don't worry about those that have their projects displayed in the hallway, or are leading on the classroom sticker chart. Slow and steady is better than peaking in reception. At this point enjoyment and engagement is everything.

He is now 8 and one of the brightest in the class, and is completely bilingual, so for a 28 weeker, weighing 1lb 11, he has done incredibly well. He holds it together in school but at home can be easily distracted and quite angry. I think being the smallest kid at school can be hard for him, and his frustration comes out at home.
He was also babied by the other children, particularly the girls, at kindergarten,ages 3 to 6; which was sweet at the time, but he didn't fit in with that year group, so staying back for another year was the best decision. I agree with a pp, getting the basics right in the early years is so important.

Your decision sounds like a tough one, i agree with asking the school what the possible secondary schools are likely to recommend.

Just wanted to give a different opinion with regards to secondary school. Different scenario but a relative of mine with a 12 year old (year 8 age) was able to start in year 7 at secondary as they came from another country and child was EAL. It’s not always the case that they end up having to move back to their age appropriate year group.

At DS's school a child came into school late. They did the summer term of reception, then officially moved to Year 1. However they weren't ready for Year 1, and spent that year between reception and year 1 eg playtimes and lunchtimes with current class, mornings with one class, afternoons on the other. It had to be well planned.

@MrsMrsMrsMrs
Sorry this is a silly question, but what is EAL? english as a second language?

@Needmoresleep
I was hesitant to get a diagnosis as I didn't want him to have a label, and maybe I was (still am) in denial. I didn't want to push for a diagnosis just to get the right support, as he has all the support he could get if he was on ASD spectrum.
I find that he does visual stimming/ and sensory stuff a lot, and sometimes it gets in the way of him learning.

Yes sorry, English as an additional language. I know it’s a different case though.

@JsOtherHalf, Thats interesting as my son moved from our local state school to private school in after February half term, the new school were academically ahead of the state school which meant that my son missed few things. It is interesting what you said about the child in your son's class starting late, and then for the next year to be in-between Year 1 and reception, but when you said "it had to be well planned", who actually planned it, do you know? did the child have any special need?
Thank you.

I dont agree with children repeating a year - just my opinion.
My youngest son was dx with ASD aged 3. He started school with a full statement 32.5 hrs (old EHCP). He had full 1-2-1, OT, Salt and was in nappies. August baby just turned 4. He stayed in mainstream primary until yr2 then moved to an autism unit attached to a different school and spent 2 years there. Has now done yrs 5&6 back in mainstream, done SAT's and got some mainstream friends. Still has ASD and still has EHCP and support.
My worry would be - his age. At what point will they move him and i doubt he would be able to skip a whole academic year. Primary education is fast paced and very much about building on the previous years knowledge.
Socially he will be seperated from his peer group and how will this affect him?
Also i believe if a child can't cope or access the curriculum then the school or setting is not right for that child. Dont make the child do it again, they may not 'catch up' to the level of their peers again a 2nd time and if they have additional needs is it fair to expect them to.
I work in education (sen) in schools and husband is a teacher. I firmly believe that the LA should be helping the school to support your child and if there comes a point where it is clear that setting is not right for the child then move them to a setting that is. One that meets their needs and where they can thrive. I would make the move to yr1 in september and the school should be differentiating the curriculum for him and offering extra support. Good luck with whatever you choose.

The school itself planned it. The teachers involved were experienced.
It's a state school, just one class per year ( admittedly 30 in each).
No diagnosed SEN. Child moved out of the area after that, so I don't know what happened in the next school.

I think the school were trying to ensure the child felt part of the age appropriate class, whilst filling in gaps in their learning with the year below.

B262, I would be inclined to simply support him and ensure he is not stressed by not being able keep up.

A diagnosis could be useful, but only when you feel that having a better idea of his strengths and weaknesses will help you and his teachers understand and support him. It certainly helped DD at 7, as she was starting to pick up that she was not doing as well as her friends. There was a lovely moment when the ed psych suggested she must have been working very hard to be doing as well as she was. (She was in the middle of the year group in a selective prep.) You could see a weight being lifted from her shoulders, as her achievements were acknowledged. An assessment should not be a label, just an acknowledgement of where a child sits on various spectrums. And I wonder how useful it is when a child may still be catching up. DD is lucky that she has top 2%s as well as bottom 2%s, so started to thrive once she was able to choose her subjects. But that is just academic stuff. In real life my builder is far better at problem solving than some people I know with Oxbrdge degrees.

smartiecake, this is not always true in the private system. And other countries like France and Italy have children repeat years or accelerate, relatively frequently.

It may depend on the school. DD went to an academic London prep that prepared for 13+ Common Entrance, and continued onto quite an academic 11+ private secondary, albeit one with quite a high intake from state primaries. She was at least a year ahead in just about every subject (not English perhaps, but certainly French, Latin, maths and science). Brilliant for her as she was suddenly top of the class, rather than in the middle, which changed her whole perception of her abilities. If she had been a year behind and needed to switch from Yr 5 to Yr 7 in a state secondary, I don't think there would have been much of a problem.

I’m a firm believer that when unsure of a decision that will become clearer in the future then do whatever is easiest to “undo”.

So in this case keep him in the correct year.

It may be that next year it becomes clear that he isn’t coping - in which case he could repeat Year 1. Or he could stay where he is and then start struggling in Year 2 and so repeat Year 2.

But once he is held down he is stuck there. Moving up is really really hard.

And it may be that as he gets older and he moves further and further away from his his birth and the huge impact that must have had on him plus moves away from the problems of the first school not being ideal and then having to move mid-year (a forces mum once told me that for every school move a child regresses the equivalent of a term of teaching - so for him he will only have the “benefit” of 1.5 terms rather than the 2.5 he should have) then things will just start getting easier for him.

I have a friend with an End August child who struggled a lot when she started. But 4 years in she is slowly, quietly moving her way up the “groups” as that original “lost year” matters less and less.

Yes thats certainly true, however many many children with identified SEN will never be at the same stage as their peers so how long do you keep them 'down' for and also psychologically all their peer group are moving up except for them. What message does that send?
It would depend on the school and how regularly this happens and how many children do this. If it is common practice then it doesnt send the same message as just one child being singled out. The school years reflect the age of the child not the academic ability level. I work with yr11's in mainstream secondary who have a reading age of 5/6. They are never going to catch up with their peer group. Repeating a year can mask a childs difficulties and i worry that schools use it to adjust their figures rather than having children with lower levels in year groups.

It's not exactly the same, but we have chosen to delay our (non summer born) SEN child with an EHCP a year, and went through many of the debates you are thinking about (what happens at the end of primary school etc, could she be forced to skip a year).
Ultimately - we've decided to keep her down a year. Partly as she is small (so doesn't look out of place), partly because she is making progress - just from a lower start point than her chronological peers, and mainly because we felt this is the right thing for her now - with secondary school over 6 years away. The progress point was probably most important for us.

Our view on secondary schools fwiw was that there is so much pressure on results, we couldn't see really why a secondary school would want to force a child to skip a year (even before you think about what would be in best interests of child). We do live in a county sympathetic to summer born deferral though(so there are other children out of year) .

Best of luck OP, it's a tough call but if the school is suggesting it and you trust them, I'd be seriously considering it...

@cowprintsocks
Thank you for your post. I agree, but anything is possible to happen in 6 years time, a new regulation can come in, even if I ask the secondary schools now, things can change in future.
Is your daughter in mainstream school?
It is a tough call and I'm in a big dilemma, but reading the posts here is really helping, just to know what other parents have decided and what were the outcome.

She is in mainstream. But tricky, as no secondary school Head will commit that far out (and the chances of them still being in post...?!). But I’d be tempted to ask them now anyway to see what kind of response you get (might help further down the line).

For us, by the time she gets to secondary, there will have been a few years of summer born pupils ahead of her so we figure that will help any discussion.

It’s not an easy one! Because our daughter is physically delayed as well as socially, we just felt another year would help her better integrate and be ‘par’ with the class rather than starting from behind on multiple fronts. But that view was coloured by the fact she is making progress, I can understand if progress was delayed there might be more of a question as to the benefit of deferring...

Mumoftwoyoungkids, I would argue that it is harder to undo the loss of confidence that might come from being adrift academically. Education at this stage is a progression, so perhaps better to get the fundemenals right. OP will be able to judge the social impact and the school should be able to advise on the "what comes next", and the scope for later and supported accleration. I would have thought to that being stressed will prevent from grasping fundementals and exacerbate any autism like symptoms. And if it turns out he is not headed for mainstream education it wont matter anyway. He would be needing to learn at his own pace so could be switched back to his year group.

I think statistics suggest that Autumn children generally fare better than summer born ones. There is a real advantage in being older and more confident. OPs DS has had to cope with a lot. If having an advantage now will be good for him, take it.

Thank you all for your responses and sharing your experience; it really helped me along with the OT, SLT, paediatrician, EP recommendations. It's been really tough these past few weeks and I had sleepless nights! But we finally made the decision to let him repeat reception, the class teacher is ever so helpful and they never pressurised us into making decision, but did provide me with support and pros and cons of repeating a year, we have made the decision based on what his needs are now, we don't know what tomorrow brings but we concentrated on here and now. Making sure the foundation is right.
I feel so much better now that the decision is made thank you for all your help x