Sending ds to school a year early

[bummymum]

I'll preface this with saying we live in the States so school admissions are a lot more flexible.

Ds is 4 now. 5 in November. He's at preschool and is due to move up to the big school and join kindergarden (I think the same as UK reception) the Year after this. So he'll be rising 6 and the oldest in his year.

One of the problems is that his 'year' only has one other kid in it. Who's almost a full year younger and he doesn't play with at all. (I realise this can change.)

We live in a very remote area. When he goes to kindergarten him and the other kid will go in to a class mixed with the year above. Which consists of 4 kids who are all great friends and at pre k with him now until they leave in a month or so.

So every class has two years age groups in it. Still class sizes of between 2-7 every year!

I'd always thought I'd hold ds back a year. (PFB syndrome ) but now am worried a little that when his friends all leave pre k he'll be in with kids from 2.5 years and up. So there will be five kids that are 2.5 and 3.5 year old and ds.

This wouldn't be so much of a problem and I feel like a massive wanker saying this but ds is super clever. He mostly does way and beyond what's required for the kindergarden screening and his future teacher has said she thinks he should go to school a year early. She know him very well as her kid is friends with ds, we were pregnant together.

Other people have also said they think he should go early. A couple of people have said not to would be holding him back.

I don't know what to do. They thought of sending him off to school early makes me feel sad and guilty but is this still some PFB type behaviour?

I'd send him! I was a year ahead of my "correct" peer group right through school - it was a looooong time ago when individual school head teachers still had some discretion over admission ages. And once I was in the school system, no subsequent school was able to hold me back a year. My birthday is mid-September so if I had started when I should, I would have been turning 6 within a fortnight and would always have been the oldest in that year group.

Instead I was always the youngest - this was never a disadvantage as (don't want to sound big-headed) I was always academically very able. My parents pushed for me to start school "early" as I was constantly trying to teach myself to read and was bored rigid at home.

If your child's future teacher thinks this is a good idea, and he is showing signs of needing more mental stimulation, then go for it!

Thanks. I'd be perfectly happy for him to do another year of pre k but given that most of the class will be 2.5 the programming for the class will change hugely to cater for the needs of the majority.

Obviously I can teach him things myself, and do but am more worried about the social aspect of him being around much younger children rather than the kids he's grown up with!

If you think hello cope socially, it sounds a good idea.

He’ll^

OP - in your place - i’d not worry as much about his friends moving up sooner and him not being challenged....
In a small class like this - teachers would go with him at his speed - and he’ll be challenged appropriately....

However - if you move him a year up - and when he eventually be in middle/highschool - he’ll may run into a lot of social issues....
In the US — as you say - admissions at more flexible. She many people hold back kids from Apr/May - so he may end up in classes where he is more than a year younger than many kids....
He’ll be physically smaller, too, develop and grow later...It does matter, especially for boys.
Imagine him playing football, baseball with his class - would he be picked first? Would he have a chance to be a captain? Etc.
School sports are a bigger thing in the US than in other counties - do think of that.
Same with other activities and clubs.

Academics, and especially in the few early years isn’t everything. In the US - these years are spent on building self esteem and learning to do their best, etc.

So - I really, truly - wouldn’t worry about his academic pace in Pre-K and K... He’ll learn to read and will arrive in Grade 1 with great confidence.

As a side note - my H grew up in a rural community. Went to primary school for a few years - there were kids of seceral different age groups, and he was the only one in his age...
So - he went at his own pace and arrived in middle school being 1-2 years ahead. Didn’t get put up forward. And played for A team, was president of student council, popular, etc.
Confidence that he developed back then carrried him quite well through his life.

Thank you all! @Josuk we've decided not to send him early after talking with more people.

He is very small for his age, and after the day last week where all the kids who were moving up went to the big school for the day he spent the day with the younger kids and got on really well with them. His teacher said she thinks it will be good for him to be the oldest kid for a change and will learn some valuable skills.