private vs state dilemma

[mandy2302]

Hi everyone!
I'm really sorry if this has been answered before, but can anyone give me advice on state and private schools in Wimbledon and Thames Ditton? I'm a first time mum and completely clueless! My eyes are square from reading websites and I seem to be going round in circles :(
So far ive looked at:
Wimbledon - Wimbledon park primary, dundonald, Wim chase, willington, rowans, squirrels
Thames Ditton/esher/surbiton- Thames ditton infants, long ditton infants, hinchley wood infants, weston green, shrewsbury house, surbiton high
My first instinct was private from reception (which would be a huge financial strain) , but was then chatting to some mums who said state primary then private secondary was a more reasonable way of going about it.
Has anyone here with older children actually done that switch (state to private) and is it actually feasible?

If going private from Reception would be a huge financial strain, you would be nuts to consider it. Go and look round the state primaries you are likely to get into and see what you think. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Loads of families in SW London do state primary and then private secondary- very much the norm.

The reason put forward for private primary is often that it makes the whole 11+ process easier but certainly among my friends it was no less stressful unless they were at a school that went the whole way through so save yourself £1000s and go to state primary!

Compared to what we pay our nanny now, private primary school is actually cheaper! But obviously saving that money by going to state primary would mean private secondary wouldn’t be as hard financially. Perhaps even give us time to have no. 2!

Yes I heard that a lot of families do that! The 11+ will be tough no matter what and may need tutoring etc.

We've just done it and come through unscathed! Lots of private school pupils are tutored as well which seemed to me to be a double whammy of costs!

Not in London so I can’t comment on the schools you mention but we went State Primary to Private Secondary but only because we got a Primary place we were happy with.
It was the right decision for us both financially and for DD’s development. She had experience of a much larger more diverse school before Secondary and has old friends from
Primary as well as her new friends from Secondary so again more of a mixture. Also, she was much more emotionally mature than a lot of her peers who went to the prep school and more grounded if that makes sense?

Thank you both for your helpful reply's!
I was a bit concerned about the large numbers in a class at state schools, but I suppose I can just see how he goes. If families have done the switch successfully for secondary than I can't really justify paying extra for primary. Plus the schools in Wimbledon are all really good.

I think paying for private primary if you have a good state primary near you is mad.

Save the money for later. Remember you'll have to see them through university as well!

I have the same dilemma and have opted for state. Whilst the class sizes are bigger and I think it helps if you have a bit of time to help with homework, I think it is nicer for kids than the 7+schools in the area. Where there is way too much pressure and competitiveness too early. I think it is unlikely to benefit the children academically in the long term and may well impact their mental health. I know 6yo children at expensive private schools who are also being tutored every night and taking tutors on holiday with them. All the parents can talk about is how little Jonny compares to little monty etc etc. The competitiveness is catching I think and draws you in. Even if you start quite relaxed, you get caught up in the melee! I find that state is more child focused. My child is towards to upper end academically and I think that has really boosted his confidence too. I think some tutoring will be needed at 9-10 to prep for secondary exams.

A good clear look at the strengths and weaknesses of any school is important. Don't rely on anyone's information unless it is bang up to date. Ds had excellent art and drama teaching at his state primary, fair but not brilliant music input and quite poor PE. (Maths, literacy, science and humanities were all realky good). Since he left 3 years ago, almost every bit of art, drama and music has disappeared, but the PE is slightly better. There are state primaries that do every one of these things very well.

Absolutely, competition is good but not that early when they're so young. As a first time mum I found the competition even in playgroups - as in mums saying "my little one is rolling, sitting, walking" etc quite horrific! So can only imagine what it would be like academically when it doesn't really matter.
Thank you all so much for your help, I really appreciate it.
We're going to be renting for a year first then buy after that so does anyone know any particularly good state primary school in Wimbledon that we can perhaps look at living close to?

DD has attended a very ordinary (not one of the sought after ones) primary in SW London and will be going to a highly selective private school for secondary. She had very little tutoring (a few months), so it can be done without it being a huge thing. And I don't think you need to stress too much about which school as long as it is one you like. You should go and look round some and see what you think - for instance I hated some of the primaries that people are desperate to get into whereas others didn't like the school I picked.

Go and meet the heads. If you personally don't rate them, you'll always find the school lacking imo.

That's really good advice actually, thanks so much. Going in to actually see the school and meet the heads will help a lot in making my mind up. I had the same with nursery, I spent hours and hours looking at websites but it literally took me 5 mins to decide when I actually went in and met the head. My little one is 15 months old, so school seems ages away, but apparently it's crazy in Wimbledon and everyone seems to be organised as soon as they give birth!!!

Preps like Shrewsbury provide a very different experience than any state primary regardless of it's ofsted status, go and look. A lot of the early years preps also provide wrap around care and full time holiday clubs for working parents which could suit your circumstances.

DS1 moved to Indy at Y3, others started Indys at reception. The biggest advantages of the prep for me was everything on tap, specialist teachers in tiny classes at an age where it really counts and daily opportunities to participate in properly organised sport. IME the prep years are the best value for money and I'm a bit meh about senior schools despite having DCs attending top performing schools. Its easy to move at 11+ but I know quite a few parents who having moved DCs from state to Indys at 11+ then moved them back to state for 6th forms because they couldn't see the added value for their £100k, you need to meet parents with older DCs to get those stories. You are lucky that you live in an area of fantastic comps and if you are Wimbledon way the Sutton grammars are an option for senior school. So just because you start Indy to provide childcare for a working parent it doesn't mean you can't move later.

I think im just going to go on a mammoth tour of the schools in wimbledon and thames ditton/esher way. Thanks so much for all the advice above everyone.
Ps - I actually had to google what DS, DD and DC mean! I'm so clueless :)

Thank you ESC2C! Is there any particular school in wimbledon that you know of or have heard of that is good? Ive told that the ofsted report isn't very reliable on it's own, and it's best to get additional views of parents etc as well

Hi mandy If you have a boy would you be aiming for the likes of Kings? If so then a pre prep would certainly help with the 7+/8+ but they also have an intake at 10/11+ I believe that's more geared towards the state primaries. The problem with state primaries for boys is that they finish at 11 and if you're looking further afield at public schools they tend to start at 13 so there's a need to bridge the gap. Girls far simpler!

If you're not tied to Wimbledon take a look at Putney. Some cracking state primaries but also great private preps. Nice place for families.

Hi jellycat, we're aiming for Kings, but it'll obviously depend on how he is academically - he's still only 15 months old!
Yes girls are much easier! I'm not sure I really understand how the school system works in terms of some finishing at 11 and some later?! I wish there was some "school guide for dummies"
We're thinking of wimbeldon purely bcoz of good options for private and state schools and the option for kings later, but Putney could be an option too..are there any particular schools in Putney you recommend?

I agree that you need to visit schools. And if you do choose a private primary, don't be surprised if, after a few years, you want to move to a different school. IME how a school feels for Reception can be very different to how things are approached in Juniors (we moved schools at the end of Y4).

Our DC has just started private secondary, having attended the "attached" private lower school. And the brightest child in our year was at a state primary. As you're obviously aware, private schools don't produce children that are "brighter" than their state-educated peers. Visit the schools you are considering - that will give you the best indication of the route you want to take. Good luck.

But Alabamazero by the same measure there will be some brighter DCs in state schools at the end of 6th form than there are in selective Indys. DS is in his last year at Kings and he has very bright friends not at Kings but in local state schools who have stem places at Oxbridge, and places elsewhere to study medicine. Places that some of his fellow Kings pupils wanted but didn't get. Going to a selective school does not shape your future, that is determined by how bright you are, and most of the local state schools do very well with their very bright pupils.

You say it would be a huge financial strain to go private from reception, then you say it would be cheaper than your nanny (but don't mention if you've included the cost of after-school and (longer) holiday care), then you suggest you could have a second child if not paying fees. I think you need to look at your finances.

Also - schools change. At least two of the state schools you mention are very likely to have different heads by the time he starts in Reception.

My son has been offered a place at private school but headmaster feels he should start a year below!? Retaking year 4. He is age 9. Advice please!