How far is commute to a prep school?

[FraggleRockHopper]

We are looking at a school that would be 40 minutes away by car and I'm wondering how far others travel to get to the "right" prep?

We are a good half an hour away. It's doable but that's because we can't move and we work from home. We are the furthest away from school and there are children that are half an hour in the other direction.

And yes, so far that's who my child is friends with !!

It is 40 ish min to my DS school. He has decided that at secondary he does NOT want to do that. For him it has not been right, but at the time it was the best choice.

His friends all live either near school, or the same distance in the opposite difference which makes socialising hard.

Our morning commute to school is 30 minutes on a good day, 45 minutes on a bad day because of traffic. The school is 6 miles away, and for me to get home after drop off it takes 10 minutes! (School is in the city centre, we live on the outskirts of the city).

It's doable, because like Silvertap, we work from home. I know that a few children coming down the motorway from the opposite direction commute for up to an hour, but their parents work in the city centre, so go on to work and they utilise breakfast club to miss the traffic.

Our commute to school is 30 minutes on a good day, 45 minutes on a bad day because of traffic. The school is 7 miles away - school is in the city centre, we live in a close village.

It is fine in the morning as we both work in the city centre too. Bit of a pain after school, when we all would like to be home sooner, but DS has a snack and reads/listens to story CDs/ goes on his tablet in the car

The distances classmates have been travelling to my son's school have been increasing as he's gone up the school. Having said that there was one reception family whose journey was at least 30 mins I think, but they had older children as well; I don't think anyone's standard journey is more than 30-40 mins but traffic in our area is such that I'm sure the office always know which road is snarled up by who is late.

The nearest prep schools are 45-60 minutes away. DS will likely get the school bus. It’s not what I would chose for him but I think the opportunities available far outweigh the travelling time. We are not in a position to move house at the moment so it’s just something that has to be done!

Does anyone put a year 2 child on the school bus? One way of cutting it down for us would be to drive him halfway to one of the pick-up points.

FraggleRockHopper what would your child like to do?

40 minutes (2x half the journey per day) sounds like an incredibly long way on a bus by yourself at such a young age.

I'd also be concerned about how far away friends would live. Are you going to want to drive the same distance at weekends to go to birthday parties, for example? What about going in for assemblies, shows, parents' evenings, etc.? Are you going to be happy doing that if you're not keen to do the journey?

One of the families at our Prep lived a 45 minute drive away and they did it for several years, but eventually gave up and moved to a nearer school. It (obviously) meant a minimum of 3 hours’ driving a day, plus drop-off and pick-up times. They either didn’t make it to the out-of-hours school concerts etc, or would wait in the school car park or lurk at a cafe rather than going home and then coming all the way back again. I think they found it harder than they expected.

I’m wondering if the two year old on the bus question is actually serious?! The minimum age for the school bus to the prep schools near me is 8yo. Some parents still feel that this is too young and choose to drive. Suppose it depends on the child’s ability to cope with the travelling and the parents work commitments.

It’s not a 2 year old on the bus. A year 2 pupil
Still far too young in my opinion though!

My year 2 used to travel via school bus, and was far away from being the only one. They had an escort as well as the driver.

Lol! Just realised I misread that! Hahaha! Phew! Was feeling worried for the two year old!

Ds was in school 35 minutes drive away. He lasted just over a year. It was at least an hour round trip for me each way (He couldn't get the bus till he was 8).
I was surprised by the number of extra-curricular activities early on. We spent a crazy amount of time hanging around waiting to save driving back. Or things in the school day parents are expected to attend. If something starts at 10.30am, as lots seemed to for some reason, it wasn't worth driving home. Parents evenings took up an entire evening for a 15 minute appointment, it was hard.
So our kids now go to the local school. 5 minutes walk. It is an absolute dream in comparison.
If the school is near your work or on your way to work or whatever then fair enough. But it's a big commitment to travelling. Really think through the logistics I reckon, especially if one person is doing all the driving and you have other kids to consider.

I think our quality of life is better at the local state school for sure. It's a good school though, we might have stuck out the commute if the state schools had not been so good. Not sure what we'll do in the next year or so when primary finishes. We've been spoiled by the lack of commute.

Fear not, there will no two year old on a bus. We are moving for the school so really it's a question of how far a circle I draw around the school. We found a village we love but it would be a 25 minute drive without traffic or a 10 minute drive then 20 on the bus for him.

We drive 30 minutes as most people do to get to our school. Quite a few people have a 40/45 minute drive.

Sometimes my child gets the mini bus but these don't run if icy or snowy!

Ours is 15 mins, I would not fancy much longer

If you're moving for the school (and so have a choice) I'd really recommend choosing somewhere at most 15 mins away.

We were initially 35 mins away, and whilst it was ok for a while, it was harder than I expected and not something I'd want to do long-term - especially as they move up the school and have music, sports etc outside school hours. We now live 10 mins away and it's great!

When your children join a prep school, a large part of your life shifts to that locale, and I think it's better to embrace that rather than try to live your life in 2 places.

Another aspect to consider with a longer commute is whether that means that all the pickups/drop-offs will have to fall to one (SAH or part-time working) parent since the logistics don't work for the other parent. That does reduce your family's resilience if that parent gets ill, or has to make an emergency trip to help elderly parents, or something similar.

Of course, other parents will help out if they live in the same direction, but it's something to consider.

(40 mins is fine short-term whilst organising your move though)

If you are moving for the school do your very best to be next door.

I have done 40mins in traffic (for pre-school), 10-12 mins to go 5 miles across countryside (for 18months) and now do a

Walking won't be an option as there aren't any sidewalks leading to the school. Walking distance to one of the bus stops would work though. It sounds like that might be my best option.

40 mins drive for my Reception DC. It’s not ideal and we’re trying to move closer.

2 mornings a week he goes on the school bus for the last 20 mins with another Reception child. I was very worried about him going on the bus but he absolutely loves it - he’s asked to go on bus every day but I feel it’s too much.

If you’re moving anyway, I would agree the closer the better, ideally within walking distance. My DS goes to a well-regarded though non-selective London prep school, and I would say 50% of the students live within reasonable walking distance and 95% live within a 10-minute drive. (And those who don’t usually end up moving house or switching schools.) There are lots of impromptu playdates, birthday parties, and after school clubs. If we lived a 30-min drive away we would be very isolated from the social life of the school. Also, do you have any younger DCs? You will find that they often don’t finish at the same time, with clubs, playdates, etc. It’s no fun for a 4-year-old reception child to be waiting around in a cafe until 5 pm while their older sibling does fencing or chess.

Your use of "sidewalk" makes me think you are American (or Canadian). Is this a standard Prep school (UK meaning) or an International/American school? For those it can be very usual for all children to use the school buses. However you do still have the issues around playdates with friends in the opposite direction and after school events.

If you’re moving anyway for the school then move as close as you can to it!