I think ive made a mistake with my dc`s school :-(

[SparklePrincess]

We moved area about a year ago & this meant a change of school for my dds (currently in years 3 & 1) Their old school was very large & because they seem to have problems mixing with other children (particularly the eldest who is very shy) I thought it best to put them in a small school. It seems things may of backfired on me though. Because after the initial honeymoon period of being the new kids they now find themselves alone most days. The reason being severe lack of classmates to choose from who could be on their wavelength (it seems none are) Also, due to mixed age classes if they do pal up with someone, chances are they wont be in the same class or even playground as them next year. Im wondering now whether they would of been better off going to the other school we looked at before we moved here. Its larger, (twice the size) has 2 classes per year group, but still quite small class sizes. It also has loads of after school activities & a swimming pool (which I know my dds would love)
The dd`s are both not particularly happy at the moment, & eldest dd currently has a teacher who isnt particularly motivated & dd has actually gone downhill academically & socially this year after a very good year with an excellent teacher last year. Problem is that if we stay put one of them will probably be with this teacher next year, which im not overly thrilled about. But if we move them again... (to their third school) it could all go wrong & make things even worse But if they stay where they are, they remain lonely
I dont know what to do for the best.

Do you know any parents of kids at the bigger school? IME a larger school meant more opportunities. Alternatively you don't want a large class size as they can get lost in the crowd, so I would be checking into that part of it before making a decision.

Tthe class sizes are similar to where they go now, but there are two classes per year group instead of one class with two separate year groups in it. So hopefully more chance of meeting other children on their wavelength but also more chance of meeting bullies & other less tolerant children who may be unkind to a sensitive child like my eldest dd. At least they are not bullied where they are now.

Oh, that's a tough choice then. Have they asked to move to the new school or just mentioned being unhappy at present school?

When I ask them who they played with today, the answer is usually "no one" or "eachother" which makes me sad. And they dont appear to enjoy school much, despite learning some interesting stuff. Its a lovely school theyre at, just the lack of friendships thats the problem.
Ive also had their names down for our local school (a few minutes walk away) since we moved here, in the hope that being able to walk to school & living close by to school friends would help. That would be the ideal case scenario if they both got in there. But a year on & there is still no year one place for the youngest.
I have previously mentioned to the girls about perhaps going to our local school when they have space & they were happy about that. I dont know if that will ever happen though, hence looking further afield. The other school im considering is still only about 1 1/2 miles away, so fairly local.

Bump.
Any ideas? anyone? Please?

SP, totally feel for you - we are going to move my two when dd is in year 3 (is that 7 yo?) and ds is starting reception and am terrified it'll backfire.

but, I think you should maybe give it a bit mroe time - if they aren't actually UNHAPPY where they are, maybe time is what they need? have you done all the playdates/after-school clubs malarkey?

think moving schools after receptions is always going to mean a longer settling-in period, but that doesn't necesarily mean they are sad. and at least they have each other.

fwiw - my dd's best friend left reception at oct half-term - since then, dd doesn't enjoy school as much socially - she used to be so extrovert ad excited to be there and she is so much quieter and more serious now. but that is life, and probably (though hard to say to myself) a good lesson in learning to be selfreliant

i think you need to have them involved in the decision. i moved my kids and while ds1 found it really easy ds 2 struggled for quite a while. he would still like to go back to old school but does have several good friends now

i would tell them you are worried about how happy they are, ask them if they would miss anything about their current school and take them to see the new school. then think about it more when you know how they feel

Is home education totally out of the question?
If it is, what about getting each of them to invite a friend home for tea? Be with them and sort of show them how to make friends IYKWIM. Help them to learn to talk to the other children.
I also wouldn't rule out the going to speak to the teachers and telling them of your concerns. They can make sure those on playground duty draw your children into play.
My oldest is the sensitive one out of our lot and I think children like this need to be gently taught about social interaction.

I dont think that they are very happy there but at least they are not being bullied (that i am aware of)
Its so hard to know what to do for the best when it comes to our children, isnt it?

The teachers are trying to help, but there are so few girls to choose from as potential friends, thats the main problem I think.
I have considered HE the little one & putting eldest into our local school (while waiting for a place to come up for youngest) but to be honest, im not exactly educated myself. I went to some very rough schools & found it impossible to learn anything. So I dont feel im capable of doing that

Was bullying an issue for them at their other school or is it mainly a concern b/c of your background? I think it is a good idea to get them involved. Would it be possible to visit the other school with them and meet some of the teachers?

Neither of the girls have beem bullied as far as im aware at either school, but the eldest is a bit of a target with her being so ultra sensitive & bursting into tears at the drop of a hat I heard that she cried in assembly yesterday morning, dont know why.
It is certainly possible that we could go & see the other school, but id probably go there myself first before involving the girls incase Im not happy.
Funny thing is that both myself & my mother actually prefered the bigger school when we originally looked round, but chose the smaller one because we thought it was what they needed. How wrong can you be?

Bump