Can anyone recommend an excellent co-ed independent day school outside of London?

[WelliBob]

Hi, we live in an area where there are excellent senior schools available both grammars and independents. However, the best ones are all single sex and I really want co-ed. DH works a lot from home so we’d happily move for the right school. I have a geeky academic son, an academically gifted Daughter who is also very sporty and another daughter who is average academically (maybe slightly above not a high achiever) However this daughter is superb at sport. I want somewhere they can all go to school together. Somewhere sporty for the girls but also high achieving academically for DS and DD1. Any ideas?

Freemens or Epsom College?

Leicester Grammar is excellent, but pretty academic (would be fine for your eldest two, younger DD might struggle). It's down to earth and has a 'city grammar' feel rather than a public school feel. Strong for sport, though probably not in the same league as the sportier public schools. Oakham is v sporty, amazing facilities, but less academic. (Would probably suit your youngest DD very well, your elder two, especially your son, perhaps less so.) It's also part boarding, so day pupils can feel a bit on the outside of things. V much a public school feel, but not the nicest atmosphere, I felt. Uppingham could also be a good choice? Also in Rutland, which is beautiful. Also part boarding. Seemed to have a gentler atmosphere than Oakham.

Berkhamsted has a similar 'diamond' structure to Leeds Grammar: girls and boys taught separately 11-16 then fully co-ed in the 6th form. Great sporting facilities, though the new-ish head hasn't been particularly popular and long-standing members of staff complain that the atmosphere has changed.

The Perse is excellent, but definitely academically high powered. Sevenoaks (in Kent) likewise.

Good luck!

Gosh, thank you everyone for your input. I will definitely have a look at Perse and Cambs in general. I really do want co-ed rather than single sex. I want co-ed both for logistical and ideological reasons really. It just seems more natural plus I had a hideous time at an all girls school which has coloured my view. DD1 is likely capable of passing any selective entrance exam as she’s working years above her age. DS is currently Y5 and in top set but I could do with knowing what we’re looking at either at 11 or 13 so I need to get a move on. In terms of sport, DD2 plays hockey at a very selective club. Plus she swims at county level. She also plays Ateam for netball and lacrosse.

I'd be interested if you found any coed schools that play lacrosse as there don't seem to be any in my area

@Wellibob, fair enough- good reasons!

I come back to Grammar School at Leeds if your DD needs a good hockey club - Ben Rhydding u18 were runners up in the national indoor finals this year.

Or live south west of Leeds and then Wakefield hockey club is easy to access - 2 olympic standard pitches and has some special England Hockey status.

South east of Leeds not south west !!

I never understand why parents think their experiences at school will be mirrored by their children many years later. Totally different and you can not compare down the years.

Girls can definitely play up to the boys in co-ed. Make up and desperate to snag a boyfriend. It depends on what your child is like, not what sex they are educated with.

I also think boarding schools can be the most dynamic. They have much more going on that is usually available to day pupils too.

You could always move to Chesham, Buckingham or Marlow in Bucks and go for the co-ed state Grammars. You would then have Berkhamsted, Stowe and Claire’s Court available if needed.

Thanks, I’ll look at Leeds.

Bubbles, it’s not just my own experience. It’s that I feel co-ed is the sort of environment I want for them. I worry that DD1 especially would be too intense at a high achieving girls’ school. Plus that sort of school wouldn’t then suit DD2.

Maybe consider that each of your children need something a bit different? It may not serve them all well to be in the same school (although better logistically I agree)

Uppingham has a lot of boarders, as does Oakham, though there are more weekly boarders at Oakham (Uppingham boarders are full boarding). I would not recommend them for people who want a day school feel (9pm finish for day pupils not unusual).

How about Dauntseys in Wiltshire? Some boarders (I think) but predominantly a day school as those who want to board prefer Marlborough.

Mill Hill might tick all the boxes although may not be academic enough. It's on the outer edge of North London but feels nothing like London and is surrounded by countryside.

Maybe, MrsSnitch, but the chances of finding 3 co-Ed independent day schools has surely got to be far more difficult that my current search for 1? I really don’t want to compromise on co-ed, or the idea of a day school. DD1 is the sort of girl you find at St Paul’s. Fiercely academic but also sporty and plays 2 instruments to grade 3&4. And I loved the atmosphere there when we visited last year. But I want co-ed and I know DD2 would not suit somewhere like that and I really want them to attend the same school.
Dauntseys looks great but again, boarders. I know I’m being picky.
It would seem we do need to be city based to get what I’m looking for.
Thank you, Mandrake, but I’m trying to get away from London/Home Counties.

King Edward VI in Southampton may be what you are looking for. Some extremely academic children, but not too hard to get in to. Lots of sport and other activities. Day school, no boarding. Most (60%?) of children come from outside Southampton (e.g, Winchester, Chilworth, New Forest and many other places around Hampshire) so you are not forced to live in the city if it's not your cup of tea. Some very good sixth form colleges around if they want to go somewhere else later on.

Bishop’s Stortford College?

I’ll have a look at KE, thank you privateparent.

Hersetta, yes I think Bishop Stortford is the sort of thing I’m looking for.

DH and I are going to call Portsmouth Grammar, Norwich School and Bishop Stortford tomorrow. Also thanks to those who have pm’d me, maybe Exeter, Perse and Stockport Grammar School. Thank you

Solihull School in the Midlands? I only know if it second hand but I hear the sport, drama etc is fantastic. It tends to be a second choice to King Edwards for academic kids but the results are really good. And transport links are convenient from that side of Birmingham.

RGS Worcester?
St Joseph’s reading

Don’t know how academic but Thetford Grammar, Wisbech Grammar

KES Bath?

This is a bit of a silly thread OP as there are literally hundreds of co Ed schools.

Two points - firstly, almost all independent coed schools started as boys only. This runs through the ethos often.

Secondly, I do subscribe to finding the best school for each individual, and of course you can get cities that have two or three or four great independent coed schools in a small radius. York immediately springs to mind. St Peters is very sporty and fairly academic, Boothams is lovely, non competitive and artistic and creative, The Mount is all girls but might end up being a perfect match. You never know until you go and visit and start asking questions.

I'd work on area first roughly.

Thanks again. I am making a list of all the suggestions and having a good look through the websites.

InvisibleUnicorn, both St Peters and Bootham are partly boarding. I’m not really keen on this as I would ideally like a school where all the pupils are day pupils as IME only then is the timetable, curriculum and facilities set up primarily for day pupils. However, I will have another look this evening.

One of the reasons I don’t want a highly selective single sex girls school is I just can’t see how DD spending her teenage years surrounded by other exceptionally able girls is a natural environment. *I am aware that opting to pay also limits a natural environment but I just feel that’s a step too far. Each to their own it’s just not for me.

@WelliBob I think you are going to struggle if you want solely day and also solely coed and that's because the good single sex day only schools are so good they haven't had to go coed, and also the good boarding schools are so good they haven't had to go solely day.

The thing about boarding schools is that they are often really amazing for day pupils. I get what you say about being set-up for day being a strong preference, but in a traditional public boarding school, generally the staff are paid more and possibly given housing, even without working in be boarding side, so it attracts a very high Calibre of academic staff, with a lot of competition for staff places.

There are also many more endowments there because of the history and age of the school (and because they started as boys' schools, all girl school are so poor in comparison) which generally leads to more money, more facilities, more scholarships available and more opportunities.

For activities, again it's set up to offer more and staff give more of their time, for example traditionally coaching sports teams alongside PE staff so all the teams end up being strong or offering clubs and extras outside the timetable (I have yet to see things like rocketry and astronomy clubs offered in day schools, although I am sure there must be some somewhere, but again the only contenders are most likely to be in London!!)

Maybe your best bet is to go through the good school guide/Tatler/HMC and mark out some on a shortlist?

But the main reason I prefer boarding schools to day is it's also a massively friendly place to work and I go in smiling every day. I think that's because it feels like a community in a way that a day school just doesn't.

Fantastic school and lovely city;

www.norwich-school.org.uk