Independent prep school & Autism

[Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney]

I am having an absolute nightmare trying to find a prep willing to take my DS who has an EHCP and an autism diagnosis. He is high functioning and has no learning disabilities, he does however have anxiety.

I have been really saddened that so many schools will not even entertain the idea of having him.

We have always wished to educate privately, but at the moment we have no options. Does anyone have a child with ASD in a prep and are happy?!?!

In a private school if your child needs extra services or extra provision, you pay for it.

Unrelenting,

But does that apply to e.g.

• Extra sports training sessions for the 1st team?
• Extra theatre rehearsals for those in the school play?
• Extra music rehearsals for the concert?

Or is it really only those who need extra 'to reach the average' who need to pay extra - those who get extra because they are doing well have those costs borne by the school?

I work in independent school admissions. At my school our intention is to be as inclusive as possible and we do have lots of children with various SEND. However there are a lot things to consider. Sometimes it's not clear cut whether the support specified in the EHCP is funded or not - it often depends on the local authority and the one that counts is where the child lives not where the school are based so not always the same for every child. In addition we have to consider genuinely whether we can provide the right support for every child in the class. So if you have a year group with more than a few children with SEN, then your ability to support another, even in smaller classes, can be challenging. And if you make the wrong call and it is perceived that attention is taken away from other children this can be devastating for the schools reputation. What we do really try to do is consider each child individually with as much information as possible and I think a good school should do this, but I'm aware from the experiences elsewhere of some of our current parents that this is not always the case. It can really help if you make it clear from the start that you could find any support yourself (if you can) - this can enable the school to employ someone to support your DC (if that is what's requires) without worrying about where the funding comes from. If they are then able to secure local authority funding so much the better but I think this is likely to be a real concern for some schools who just cannot afford to take on extra staff (small independent schools biggest cost is staff salaries and the balance of resources can be very tight.)

It is unlawful to charge the parents of a disabled pupil for making reasonable adjustments. School should be putting some of their budgets aside in anticipation of their duties I MO. If state-funded schools are expected to meet the first £6000 of SEN provision from their relatively much smaller budgets ..... well!

"School should be putting some of their budgets aside in anticipation of their duties"

Look, for better or for worse most private prep schools don't see themselves as providing a wider social "duty." Their selling point is that they offer an accelerated, "stretching" curriculum, and they are able to do that in large part because they eliminate pupils who need a slower pace or who need specialist attention or might disrupt the class. I am neither defending or criticising them, just pointing out what the situation is.

OP, it doesn't sound like either typical private preps or special schools would be right for your son. What about a slightly "alternative" private school that sells itself on having a more unique, individual approach and is not about prepping the kids for any particular school? Or a good state school and then spend your resources on enriching your child's experience outside of school?

I am not talking about their social duty but their legal duty under UK law.

The Head of my daughters Private school does NOT send his DS to the school as he has SEN and provision is much better in the State sector.
He is in Year 2 and has 1.2 support and extra support from the SEN coordinator. His parents are very very happy with the support he gets and say it’s the first time he has actually been given the help he needs despite being in several Prep schools.
Private Prep schools are not lady’s the best place for SEN dc if there is a good State option instead

Wow - a great response and lots to discuss.

I think it is wrong that parents in a private school are forced to pay for the provision detailed in the EHCP if the LA are not covering all of it (and when it comes to 1:1 TA they won't)

My DS has a full time TA. I found it interesting to think about other parents paying for 'no disruption' - I suppose I hadn't thought of this too much before. I am always in favour of kids learning about other difficulties etc. That said, as my DS has full time TA he is not taking any time from the class teacher.

Will certainly look into 'alternative' private settings, but not sure what that might look like.

If you are in North London or would consider a move to commuter-Ville then I would seriously recommend Egerton Rothersay in Berkhamsted. It fills the gap between regular schools and a school for those with additional needs. For example, high functioning autism, severe dyslexia, dyspraxia etc. Children that need a bit more support but are so far away from needing a special needs school.

I know two families with children there, both autistic. They are both absolutely flying academically, benefiting from the really small class sizes, learning environment that works for them not against them, and teachers who have huge amounts of experience in this field.

Many children have their place there funded by their LA and some children do travel long distances to get there.

Don’t be put off by the poor website. It is definitely worth a look.

@Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney in the gentlest way possible most schools will not consider a child with a 1:1 TA to be high functioning.

There are alternative preps that do cater for autism and also what you can look at is the "non-selective" preps as those tend to have much larger SEN departments. None of the selective schools that I know of will take a child needing a 1:1 TA.

I know it feels like rejection but the honestly of the preps in telling you they can't cater for your child is a blessing. Plenty of state schools won't be right either but they won't tell you. You will find the right school for your child and you have the advantage of being able to pay. If you give an idea of where in london you are or would willing to be we can probably be more helpful with suggestions for schools.

I don’t think having full time 1:1 support implies that a child isn’t ‘high functioning’. It does imply that a high level of support is needed.

‘Autistic’ is such a non specific diagnosis, even when you use words like ‘high functioning’. An autistic child might be very advanced academically, but completely flummoxed by an everyday task like standing in a line, or be able to rattle on to an adult about their favourite subject, but have no idea how to negotiate playing a game with another child.

It’s not private schools generally, but which private school. Dyslexic DD went to two London private secondaries, both of which were very supportive to her. Both seemed willing to take able kids seemingly some way on the autistic spectrum, as in needing help navigating round the school etc.

In my experience (child with Spld - not autism) there is a significant amount of discrimination by the back door. It is usually framed as we do not think your child will thrive. I hate this discrimination

I think 1stMrsF has given a excellent description of how an independent school can try to strike a balance, being inclusive while making sure it's able to support all of the children it chooses to admit. The challenge is a school that takes this approach AND which offers the right environment for your son.

From what you've said, it doesn't necessarily seem as though a traditional prep - especially an academically driven one - would be ideal. Because he has anxiety and has had on 1:1 support, perhaps a smaller, more nurturing school would be right - lower on the league tables, but a place where he would succeed and achieve his potential.

Last year when I needed to find a new school for my DS I tried to define my "dream" school for him, where I felt he would thrive. Then I started searching. I used the Good Schools Guide and trawled dozens of school websites, trying to identify those with the right ethos. Once I had a list, I started contacting schools (this was in March). It was hard - there were rejections, wait lists, etc. but in the end he wound up in a school where he is soaring.

One thought - have you worked with an educational psychologist, who could refer you to a consultant that helps find the right school for children with SEN/ASD?

You may find a list like this on your local offer site. Iwww.afcinfo.org.uk/local_offer/organisations?utf8=✓&search_organisation%5Bterm%5D=out+of+borough+schools&utf8=✓&search_organisation%5Bsorting%5D=relevance&search_organisation%5Bper_page%5D=10I
I know Richmond has funded the EHCP provision and parents paid the school fees but after expensive tribunals.
Not on this list but Kew House and Hampton prep in its Denmead incarnation have had kids with EHCP,s

My son is at a super selective where quite a high number are on the high functioning end of the spectrum and manh wjth dyslexia and other sn. The school has a number of LSAs who support these children for no extra fee other than standard school fees and I am unaware of any disruption to the other pupils.

Unrelenting- it is not the case at all private schools you pay for extra support or lessons at all.

Lots of sweeping sentences about private schools get thrown about, but there many different types of independent schools and not all will charge extras for support lessons or lessons to extend.

External staff like a SALT or OT are often charged as an extra, but parents should check with individual schools as it certainly isn't the same rule for all schools.

As an example our local private school has free breakfast club and all SEN lessons are included, one to one music lessons for an instrument are charged but there are lots of free after school clubs too.

I work in a non selective prep in the home counties. We have lots of children with a wide range of additional needs and learning difficulties, including several with ASD.

The only problem is that sometimes they need to leave before the end of their time with us (age 13) because they are definitely going to need an EHCP in order to cope at senior school but there's no way they can get an EHCP while they are with us because they don't struggle enough here due to the small class sizes and specialist support. Take that away and they absolutely will need an EHCP and possibly a 1:1. So we almost end up setting them up to fail by sending them, temporarily, to a school which can't meet their needs so they can prove they can't cope and access support for the future. It's bonkers.

There are Preps out there that take children with additional needs, but seemingly not that many. DS1 is at the most severe end of the HFA scale and has always had full-time 1:1 support. Our experience at a village primary school was an absolute disaster and left him traumatised for several years. None of the private schools near to us would even consider offering him a place. In the end we moved counties to a lovely small, quiet Prep where he was very welcome, wasn't bullied at all, and the quieter atmosphere meant that he actually started to learn and progress. The county paid for certain things in his EHCP (OT, SALT etc) but initially we had to pay for his 1:1 support until the county took up the bill for that as well (which is apparently pretty unusual). He had a very happy 3 years at the Prep until his needs became so severe that he needed to move to a special school.

Good luck with your search OP - I hope you find and can access what your son needs.

Have you considered an independent ASD specialist school? The Holmewood School is in North London.

Thank you very much for the continued messages.

It is nice to hear some positive stories among the doom and gloom!

We looked around a few special schools, but they wouldn't offer him a place as they felt he was too able, had decent enough social skills etc.

Mainstream preps have also said no, which leaves us with the local state. I have already tried Education Consultant who got us no where really.

Which preps did you try? Selective or nonselective? There absolutely are preps that will take him but you may need to move for them. If you want suggestions from those of us with HFA kids at prep feel free to PM your location and I'm happy to tell you which ones I know.

Caddy shack. A school didn't supply free dyslexia lessons because it costs £500 a term. Times that by the 40 odd kids accessing the same service it's not as simple as enrichment and the other parents wouldn't mind contributing to it.

Have you looked at Bruern Abbey in Oxfordshire, or More House, Nr Harnham, Surrey? I am not sure that either would be a perfect fit, but may be worth talking to.

Oh dear, I can't type this morning. That should be 'Farnham'.