All girls school?

[HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood]

I have two daughters and as they get older I worry more and more about the messages they receive as to what they can and can’t do simply because they lack a Y chromosome.

When DD1 starts in year 3, there is the option available to move her to an all girls school which has a STEM focus (she’s very mechanically minded). I’ve read that all girls can be better for girls who are into STEM, simply because of the altered classroom dynamic. The al girls school has a good reputation and the girls do well.

However, there’s nothing wrong with her current co-ed school. It does well and gives a good all round education.

So, I suppose the question is whether the benefits of all girls is really that pronounced? Anyone got experience?

This was certainly a dilemma for us too. Both our daughter's were/are in co-ed upto year 7, and for the most part it worked well. Our eldest did not have a STEM orientation however, whereas our youngest currently still in prep, most certainly does. What we have found is that, particularly where the number of boys outnumbers girls, if the girls are not very STEM orientated, our daughter is reluctant to be the only girl, or one of few, so refuses to participate in the many STEM clubs & activities her school offers. I imagine this would be less of a problem in an all girls school that has a particular STEM focus. Lesson wise, some of the boys do tend to dominate somewhat, and interestingly, while her class reports for Science have been quite mediocre, on the basis of being too quiet ..her standardised end of year exam results were very high, so I'm not sure how they were gauging her on that one?!
That aside however, our daughter is very happy at her co-ed, and we are happy we chose it over the all-girls option. Good luck with your decision!

It's not just about peer group though it also helps to have female role models. So if the standard of teaching at the co-ed school is good and they have at least 50% male/female teachers it should be OK.
My dd went to co-ed school and still ended up taking some subjects where boys outnumbered girls with no problem.
I would choose a STEM specialist school because of the specialist facilities rather than it being a girls school iyswim.
My concern is that although being an all girls environment may boost results, it will be more of a shock being on a degree course or in a workplace where there are fewer females than males later on.

My concern is that although being an all girls environment may boost results, it will be more of a shock being on a degree course or in a workplace where there are fewer females than males later on.

I think for every tale of this being an issue, there are others that show it is clearly not. I would love to see some research on it.

I know that both my sister and I went to an all girls school, and neither of us had any problems with the male of the species in later life. we did both have active social lives during our teenage years so maybe that helped.
However, I also think that being at an all girls school gives you confidence in yourself, because of being you (rather than being you, even though you are a girl) which I think is very helpful in later life.

I also attended an all girls senior school, and certainly never had an issue in the workplace or beyond. My eldest daughter is also at an all girls secondary, although she did attend co/Ed up to age 11. She has a huge circle of friends, both boys & girls, and the ease at which they socialise with one another, is really quite refreshing!

Oh gosh!!! Girls are not totally separate from boys if they just go to school with girls!!! They really do associate with boys at other times of the day, weekends and holidays. You can facilitate that. This idea that girls stay locked away from boys and then cannot cope with them is utter tosh. Some girls don’t want boys around much later in life them but that’s their decision and not much to do with school. Girls can have a very productive time at a girls school, get on with boys outside the classroom and even mix with them at university in a very normal way. The big plus is that at a girls school they are not sneaking off with a boy, being put down in the classroom or the butt of sexist jokes. Your DD will be fine at university.

I would def do all girls school as opposed to co-ed far less distraction having no boys around plenty of time for that later

Thanks all. It’s a lot to think about. Fortunately i still have time :)

I attended all girls schools from 11-18. I had a brother, so not shielded from boys! I will not be sending my children to single sex schools. My daughter at primary has already said she wants to work with computers, like her dad. But it does not prepare you for real life. Yes, I had all the positive feminist messages that women could achieve anything. But socially, I was at a big disadvantage when I went to uni. I believe a good school should set you up for life, and reflect the society you will meet later on

I went to an all girls state school and it did absolute wonders for my confidence. There were no boys to try and impress when the teenage years came, and Maths and Science had great uptake and results.
Girls really excelled there. Unfortunately the school no longer exists and most state girls schools are few and far between.
I have a DD and I would love her to go to single sex secondary - the only options near us are private so we will have to see our situation then.

If you are not socially ready for university, is it really just down to school? Or is it more to do with personality?

Many girls have weekends and some evenings to meet boys. At a part time job, brothers of friends, boys from primary school, boys in clubs you might join - there are so many opportunities outside 6 hours at school. What girl these days spends her total life without boys anywhere near until they go to university? Parents must facilitate meeting boys if there is a concern.

I have experience of both single sex and mixed schools for my children and one thing that did surprise me is this: there is still a lot of social conditioning and gender stereotyping in mixed schools not sure why.

Examples: my DS1 is very musical and at his mixed school was the only boy joining the choir. He was teased so much by the other boys that he gave up. I suppose I should have pushed him to go beyond that and carry on with it, but really I didn't feel it was worth the battle.

When he joined a single sex school all the boys were in the choir.

Other example: my DD1 has always been a maths and science girl. In her mixed sex school only ONE girl took physics A level last year! Nearly all the girls are dropping computer science for GCSE. I could go on! It is really hard to differentiate yourself in a peer group like this.

Of course some schools, maybe in London, are different and there are super resilient children who are prepared to go against the grain. But teenagers especially don't like to stand out/be the odd one out and so in these circumstances, single sex schooling allows them to be free.

I do think it's a sad sign of an unequal society where the genders are still suffering in this way.

I thought I would favour a single sex school for girls, but when it came to it, and I watched what was happening, I changed my mind.

At Dc’s Co-Ed comp the girls are leading in maths and some other STEM subjects, half the science teachers at GCSE and A level are female, and the boys and girls form very mature and supportive friendships.

The girls from the nearby girls school have flocked to the co-ed for sixth form and are enjoying the more rounded atmosphere more.

My Dc have actual friends (not boy / girl friends ) of the opposite sex and seem to prefer that at present to rushing into ‘going out’ with people.

I don’t think you can generalise. Look at the individual school, friendship group and the individual child.

I wouldn’t move a happy, academically thriving girl for the sake of single sex education.

Interesting, ChristmasWreath: in Dc’s co-ed school there are boys in the choir (they are very good at choosing a repertoire that appeals to kids and they look and doing great when they perform) , girls on bass and guitar in the rock band, boys do GCSE dance, etc etc.

There is a girls football club.

But then there is an ongoing dialogue in the school about equality and diversity, there are many teens who are ‘out’ in school and no one bats an eyelid.

Being in hugely diverse S London maybe part of it. They don’t need to be resilient, because everyone is different, iyswim.

This is interesting .... It's good to hear people's ds's positive experiences of all girls school. Unfortunately in my line of work I've seen downsides with all girls schools lately - eating disorders, self harm, terrible bullying and friendship problems. In my area all the grammar schools are either all girls or all boys. I know girls can have problems in co ed schools also but in my experience the problems have been increasingly in all girls schools so it is good to see that there are very positive comments to because at some point ds and I will have to consider the options

Sorry should read dd not ds of course...

You get all those problems in coed schools! Don’t forget that girls compete with each other in all of them and some do feel they need to look their best for the boys. Friendship issues between girls happen in all schools and it is frankly ridiculous to suggest this problem is worse in girls schools. Why on earth would that be? Girls are girls whatever school they go to. Ditto with the bullying.

It is just not fair or accurate to say awful things only happen in girls schools but no coed schools when, nationally, you have no data. It may be more to do with the ethos of the grammar schools and the need to succeed. Have you considered that?

DD is loving her all girls Grammar. She does a sport outside school that means she is the only girl in the club so meets boys there and she attends other events and clubs that have boys in. A friend’s DD is struggling at her co-ed (Ofsted Outstanding) as a few boys are picking off the girls by showing their favour to a select few and encouraging some of the girls to ostracise those they don’t favour, they spread rumours etc leading to eating disorders amongst some very upset girls. As it isn’t DD’s school I don’t know what the school is doing to try and deal with this just gather it has been hard to pin down single perpetrators and has therefore flourished. This isn’t the only person I’ve heard from where the co-ed environment wasn’t the healthy one they were hoping for. Those I know who’ve been happiest in the co-ed environment tend to be boys, but that is just my circle of friends so not scientific in any way.

My daughter is thriving at her all girls' school.

I think you have to take the particular child and the particular school available to you at the time into account. Single sex schools can be great, coed schools can be great. Pick a good school and match it to the child.