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Education

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Original poster

Any MNers with children in boarding school?

23 replies

Oxygen · 14/04/2007 20:26

A bit wary that this will get ugly, but ingtrigued anyway

Do any MNers have children in boarding school?

Just being nosey really about if it is weekly/termly and why?

Its a whole part of life I know nothing about (due to bein skint ), and want to learn why you chose that, do you miss them lots etc or do you feel you appreciate them that much more when they get back iyswim.

OP posts:

paros · 14/04/2007 20:55

Opens wine and crisps, puts on gentle music and waits . LOL

Flamesparrow · 14/04/2007 21:05

lmao - no-one's gonna reply to me are they?

I know its gonna be a hard hat topic but I am really genuinely interested.

I used to sit next to a jehovah's witness at work and people kept at the questions I fired at her I just like finding out about lives I don't lead

Greenleeves · 14/04/2007 21:07

There are definitely quite a few. I've offended them all before

zippitippitoes · 14/04/2007 21:08

flamesparrow are you the op too? oxygen

Flamesparrow · 14/04/2007 21:11

lol, yes, was being a different name for a week, but started to feel the need to be me again... and I tend to get ignored in other names

wangle99 · 15/04/2007 13:48

I think there was a post titled this not that long ago.

DD (10) will be boarding for one night a week from next term. (Not sure if that really counts as proper boarding!)

This is because she wants to do an after school club on Tuesdays which is the day DD (3) is there also. I refuse to drive up at 3.30pm to collect DS and then have to drive back at 5pm to collect DD.

We live 30-40 mins drive from the school.

zippitippitoes · 15/04/2007 13:51

there was..i thought this was the same one at first

ds went to boarding school...he is now at college

wangle99 · 15/04/2007 14:22

DS is 3 not DD lol. Brain fade.

Flamesparrow · 15/04/2007 23:17

Sorry - missed the last one.

That makes sense Wangle

UCM · 15/04/2007 23:20

I would have loved to go to boarding school. My parents were great, but I kept reading the books about the even greater time girls were having in boarding school. What with nightime 'feasts' and 'slipping out'. Must have been great

Flamesparrow · 15/04/2007 23:23

Ah yes, but then you would have had to have llived both at boarding school and in the past

wangle99 · 17/04/2007 19:20

Well that's it, DD's boarding is arranged and from next Tuesday she'll be there overnight - will I miss her?? Already am and I'm only thinking about next Tuesday lol

She's so excited, bless her!

Flamesparrow · 18/04/2007 07:42

You'll miss her, but think how nice it'll be for your DS to have one to one time

WormEater · 20/04/2007 00:29

Used to teach in one. Does that count?
Some parents sent their children because they were too busy to look after them themselves because they worked long hours.
Some were sent because they were trying to give their child the best they could and thought my school could provide that.
Some were forces parents or spent alot of time abroard.
Some were trapped in the 'generations of the family went there' type thoughts.
And occasionally some just seemed to think that children 'got in the way' at home!

Flamesparrow · 20/04/2007 08:35

Yay!!! Clear concise answers... thank you oodles.

scienceteacher · 22/04/2007 20:09

DS2 (13) boards at his prep school....

Callmemadam · 22/04/2007 20:39

VERY wary of giving you answers, but yes, three out of four of my dcs board. DS1 went at 13 - his choice - and is having a ball 24/7 - his words! Loves being with his mates, loves the co-ed thing, loves the social side (we live in rural location) loves the sport on offer etc etc etc. When he comes back he chills with us. If I ask him about having friends over he tends to say that he gets through all that in term time. DS2 went to a very small boarding prep school at 11 when he was being constantly bullied at his day school for being G&T. His new school offered him the chance to stretch himself academically while being with a small school which meant they all play as a single unit. May not work everywhere, but certainly works at that school. He is a transformed kid, and is due to follow his big brother. As a result of success with ds2, we moved dd1 at 11 to the same prep school but the jury is still out there. She was drifting academically, and with a very 'fast' moneyed set of girls at the day school, and finds that a smaller school means she can get away with much less iyswim. She loves the boadring but hates the start of term. She comes home every weekend.

I miss them, and never thought we would do it, but to answer your questions fully I will have to put ds1 on here to explain it himself when he is back! I do realise that we are very very lucky to be able to make choices with our children, by the way....I had no option but a tough local school and I never want to go back down that part of memory lane....

Flamesparrow · 23/04/2007 07:48

Callmemadam - thank you for replying. Its sooo that everyone is so wary of talking about why they have chosen boarding for their children. I hate that there are clearly so many mums out there quick to judge.

The extra curricular activities that they all enjoy sound incredible. With your older ones you probably end up with much more time just you in the holidays than with non-boarders because he's not wanting to be out doing things with his friends all the time.

I'm really enjoyng learning about all this... one of these things that I have no way of knowing about in my life and I'm interested

slimmerjim · 23/04/2007 09:16

Flamesparrow I'll come out of the closet too along with Callmemadam. Ds1 (13) is in his 3rd term of weekly boarding at his new senior school - again his choice. While this is no secret, I'm particularly wary of overbroadcasting it as we actually live near enough to the school for boarding not to be necessary. That said, most of the boys (we're in an urban area) who do board don't live particularly far away. It's just that the school day is long even for the day boys who "like to hang about and socialise" as ds1 says, plus there is saturday morning school so it would mean 6x2 journeys on public transport for ds.

Instead, however, he finishes all his prep for next day (can't call it homework as he doesn't bring it home !) in a room with other boys in his house, at a set time each day, then can socialise, play pool, table football if raining, run about outside if not raining etc., and his weekend are genuinely free of school work which is such a delight after years of heavy homework at his prep school, particularly in the last year or 2, (years 7 and 8). His friends at more local day schools have a very similar workload, including lots which intrudes into their weekends. These boys are just beginning to find their feet socially in a more independent way, so it's nice for ds to be free to do this at weekends, without even more school work.

The clinching factor for me (I was much less keen than ds or dh about boarding) is that ds1 chose it without any pressure from us. He is constantly asked whether he's still happy doing it. The answer is yes ! But he knows he can stop if he wants.

In fact this morning he left the house at 7.15am to get to school 30-40 mins later. That's about half an hour before he has to leave...What does that say ?

Minus: well we miss him a lot . He has 3 younger siblings. However he's not far away, and were he not boarding, he'd have a late arrival home (see above about day boys staying late), then a lot of homework, so he'd be stuck in his room anyway doing that.

So over all, so far so good for us.

Callmemadam · 24/04/2007 17:33

Flamesparrow, slimmerjim sums it up really (for my dc's at least) they feel that somehow they are starting independant living, but very very slowly! If you are prepared to work at it as a parent it can be great. Tomorrow I have to get to one school for a rounders match and tea, drop off a birthday pressie which arrived for another AND on the way home deliver ds1's duvet and pillow which he forgot to take back so will get touched for dosh as well, I expect . However, what I meant really was when they are at home I can be WITH them if you know what I mean, as we value family time and concentrate on socialising as a family unit. The kids play with each other pretty much constantly and even big brother comes down from his lordly teenage perch and mucks around with the younger ones. We just don't seem to have too much teen angst and stress because dh and I aren't wallpaper iyswim. That having been said, you DO need to work at making sure that the bond is a strong one - some of ds's friends act and feel as though they have left home already which is very sad.

Flamesparrow · 24/04/2007 18:02

These are all really positive and I am enjoying the replies soo much - thank you again for replying!

wangle99 · 24/04/2007 19:28

callmemadam - how do you feel you worked at getting a successful bond? I am concered as DD is boarding for the first time tonight (and we may increase that in the future) that we may lose any bond we have if she isn't here!

Callmemadam · 25/04/2007 19:43

Wangle - I'm not sure I know, exactly, but I would say that when they board they seem to see you more as a person and also as something they appreciate AS a person iyswim. So we talk, and I don't pry any more than I would if they were at home but I have always had my tactics and all my dcs blab under the slightest pressure . TBH if there is a bond to be developed it will come as long as your child feels that you are genuine in your interest, but not prying or interfering. For example, my son has allowed me to log onto Facebook to see his pages but I am on a promise NEVER to ever let a living soul (especially one under 18) know I have Been There.....now working on my impersonation of another teen . Guess what I am trying to say is it boils down to communication, and that's the same with teens whether they are at boarding school or simply out with mates on a Friday night.

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