Selling alcohol at primary school events - is this wrong?

[tigermoth]

I was discussing this with a friend recently. Do you think it sends out the wrong message? Should alcohol be so acceptable? I don't think family drinking is wrong, but is primary school the right place for it?

There's a bar run by PTA members at all our school's evening events, except formal meetings. Many parents, like me, drive to the events, so having a bar is putting temptation in our way. In addition, our bar sells things like 'reef'a and 'bacardi breezers' so not quite alcopops but nearly. At the school Leavers Evening, lots of Year 6s were coming up to the bar alone and asking for beer and wine, allegedly for their parents....

I wouldn't have any objection to alcohol being served, and fully agree that the issue is how well the children are being supervised rather than the presence of booze.. Dh never drinks, and I have the odd glss of wine. In general I am better at keeping and eye on the children tho.

I would object if someone became drunk, but that , to my mind, is a very different issue.

And I once lost ds at Disneyland Paris when stone cold sober. Turned to talk to dh for a few second (yes realy) and off ds shot). The worst moment of my life

I can't see the problem with it. If you hide alcohol from kids they are probably more likely to see it as something forbidden and get into it in a big way as teenagers.

Thinking about it, my children have seen me drink alcohol all of their lives. A glass of wine with Sunday Lunch is the norm in our house, a glass of beer with a BBQ. They have never seen me drunk, or te worse for drink. And Like Jimjams, my dd is allowd a very small amount of wine, diluted in a glass of water. Make it 'illicit' and they want it all the more imho.

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I just think that it is probably a good way to raise money. We sometimes get wine at parents evenings!

Tell you what if I was ever to go to one of DS1's school events I think I would need a glass of wine just to get through it

Oh not being rude about the PTA there- it's just "here's 350 completelty normal children- and here's ds1". Hmm mines a large red wine please.....

I am still undecided - very interesting to read your views. I think crowd situations can equal lost children alcohol or not, and that the level of supervision isn't usually neatly related to alcohol consumption (though it can be sometimes). I think most people drink moderately at school events and I firmly believe that moderate drinking is not a threat to family life.

But, talking to my friend, thinking of those Year 6s trying to nab some alcohol from the PTA bar, I have sympathy with the view that it's good if children see adults enjoying themselves together without drinking alcohol, especially when the gathering is child centered. Still not sure where I stand on this one.

i grew up in a house where alcohol was a very high priority for both my parents. i witnessed the arguments it caused & endured mental & physical abuse because of it (not to mention the embarasment when dad was p**d in public)
children & alcohol dont mix. its as simple as that. if you are in charge of children then its your job to be completely in control of yourself. even one drink has some effect on the concerntration levels. i save my drinking for the evening when its my time the children sometimes come downstairs & know that mum & dad enjoy a beer when theyve gone to bed, & thats fine.
personally ive never seen the attraction with daytime drinking anyway. i prefer to be in control.

Sympathy and hugs Firestorm,

My Dad used to binge drink a couple of times a year for as long as I can remember and that was bad enough. Can't imagine how bad it would be for both parents, all the time

A single glass of wine, or even two, does not make me even remotely out of control. And before anyone posts I never drink and drive, as alcohol does affect fine motor control. A single glass does not affact my ability to look after my children.

Sadly alcholics and children don't mix, but a single glass does not make me that.

And agree that parents out of control must have been a dreadful thing to cope with, awful.

The PTA at the boys' school offer wine as an incentive to get parents to turn up to meetings. There's usually a pretty poor turn-out, but apparently it was far worse before they offered wine. And it's not just the alcoholics who turn up now - many who do take orange juice instead. I think it just makes the meeting a bit more sociable and sometimes that's what parents want if they've been at work all day. No children at these meetings anyway.

Freckle, I wish wine was served at our PTA meetings. Can't see a problem if children aren't there anyway.

It's not the children seeing parents drinking thing I have doubts about. If I did I'd have to radically chance my lifestyle! It's just that children do IMO behave differently when they are in school. They are expected to. They are in a group situation for starters, they are told to walk not run, talk not shout, listen, not interrupting the teacher, sit nicely and line up etc etc. They are also there to work. I don't expect my sons to follow those same rules all the time at home. It's like when I go to work - my behaviour is different. Those evening school events are arguably an extension of the school day. Children singing in choirs and performing in plays are still having to follow school rules. They are still on duty. If I was on duty in the evening, conducting an evening presentation or going to a meeting, would I feel alcohol was appropriate then? probably not.

I don't know what I am saying, really, just that it's the school element that makes me think twice. Now if it was a children's birthday party in the school hall, disco, parents invited, everyone off duty, then I can't see anything wrong with alcohol being available for the parents.

I think that as it is an evening 'do' the rules are somewhat changed. Most evening concerts at dds and dss school have wine (or soft drink) option. However it isn't a bar, and I have never seen people get out of control, or even mildly tipsy. People don't go and buy a round of drinks. They are not there to drink, as such, but to watch their kids in the concert of whatever. And while they are doing that they may have a glass of wine.

If it got to the point that people we seeing it as drinking first, then I would re-think the situation.

some of you lot need to lighten up! We have always had alcohol at summer fte's etc I have no problem at all with it

i dont see a problem in having alcohol at a pta meeting in the evening.