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Bribing children to get good GCSE grades -- why would anyone do this?

53 replies

frogs · 10/04/2007 12:12

I read this in the Sunday Times and it's still niggling away at me.

Why would these parents think it's a good idea to pay their children per GCSE grade A/A*? Surely if by the age of 15 the child hasn't worked out that it's in his/her own interest to get the best grades they are capable of, then something has gone a bit wrong? And if they do work hard and it all goes hideously wrong for some reason, then they're going to need serious tea and sympathy, not a cut in allowance.

People in London do this for 11+ seelctive secondary entry as well, which is possibly even worse -- one of dd1's acquaintainces from swimming was promised £100 if she got into school A or £50 if she got into school B.

Is it just me, or is this barking?

OP posts:
Quootiepie · 10/04/2007 12:16

I don't think it's that bad. I was bribed I guess, if I got in to school A I was allowed a pony. (Urgh, that sounds really stuck up!) Just gave me extra drive. It's like be good at the dentist, get a toy type thing. I personally see nothing wrong with it as such. I mean, if it gets the result whats the harm? More harm thinking "stuff it" and not driving your child at all to succeed.

MrsBadger · 10/04/2007 12:17

My immediate reaction is 'barking', but I suppose it depends on the teenager - cash could, depressingly, be just the incentive a bright but unmotivated one needs.

amateurmum · 10/04/2007 12:18

I agree that payment by results seems likely to backfire if results are not achieved and in any case surely enough to celebrate success with child?

However, have to admit to bribing DS1 to do homework/tables learning etc (for the sake of family harmony and for other reasons to do with the amount of work he gets) so I can see the advantages of bribing children to work for their GCSEs - I'm afraid I don't think that all children will have worked out how important it is to get best grades possible.

belgo · 10/04/2007 12:18

At the age of 15 a lot of kids don't realise the importance of getting good grades. I think the amounts involved are on the high side, but I don't think there is anyuthing wrong with rewarding a child for good grades.

MrsBadger · 10/04/2007 12:19

(and fwiw the phrase 'driving your child to succeed' makes me reel in horror.)

Quootiepie · 10/04/2007 12:20

Driving was abit strong, aiding? Aiding your child to succeed.

LittleSarah · 10/04/2007 12:20

The thing that amuses me about articles like this is that they do not seem real. I mean I knew people who got a little present if they did well, I think I got taken out for dinner or something but all this £100 per A, math tutors twice a week and then a week in a secluded cottage seems OTT. I mean, most people I know, worked at school, revised at home and mostly did well. Then yes they might get something as reward but it was not a bribe.

I do think it is a little worrying if by your mid teens you need a financial incentive to do your best. I also think that most kids don't need one and those who get OTT bribes (ie £100 an A) are [whispers] a little spoiled.

Quootiepie · 10/04/2007 12:21

Surely all these star charts are the same really. But at 11+ age you can hardly reward getting good marks with a shiny star

MrsBadger · 10/04/2007 12:22

empowering you child to succeed perhaps?

(sorry if I was snippy, I was pushed way too hard and fell to bits, as did many of my contemporaries, so it's something I get a bit worked up about)

Hassled · 10/04/2007 12:24

I bribed my son with money for his A levels - so much for an A, less for a B, etc. - out of sheer desperation to find anything that would give him an incentive to sit down and work. It didn't make any difference - he ended up having to retake - but I quite understand why people do it. Reasoning with him had failed - it turned out what he needed was a bit more maturity (which he managed to find!) - but at the time money seemed a possible solution.

frogs · 10/04/2007 12:25

I think rewards are one thing -- I took dd1 for several treats after her 11+, but it was before the results came out and I made it very clear it was a reward for the effort she'd put in and not for the achievement. And we did have a celebratory dinner when we found out she'd done really well, but again that was a celebration rather than a direct reward.

I know people who were bribed at O-Level and even at degree level. Even at the time it seemed weird to me, and now I'm on the parental end of it I still feel the same.

But then I'm probably just a swotty nerd with motivated swotty children.

OP posts:
Quootiepie · 10/04/2007 12:27

It's fine There is a sort of hazy line sometimes between helpful parents and pushy. What annoys me as much as pushy parents is ones who just don't drive/aid/empower their children at all.

snorkle · 10/04/2007 12:39

Message withdrawn

custy · 10/04/2007 12:45

motivation is a very relative thing. for some kids its money.

frogs · 10/04/2007 12:57

Interesting to hear other opinions.

On reflection, I think the other reason I'm uncomfortable with it is that you're not just rewarding effort, you're rewarding talent too. If you have more than one child you could easily end up in a position where your bright but lazy child gets hundreds of pounds in reward money, while a less able but more hard-working one misses out. Which is not really a good message to be giving your children.

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electra · 10/04/2007 12:59

Completely agree frogs. I also don't agree with schools who have "achievement prize" day for the same reasons.

custy · 10/04/2007 13:04

in isolation maybe, howeer if you have brought yourchildren up and showed that you are always fair then they will know this to be true.

for instance i have bribed my children with many things - good report = continued use of eyeliner for the next term

my eldest ds got hundreds of pounds worth of tools off us to start his apprenticeship.

something my dd will not get

something my other ds may get if he goes this route.

therefore my dd has been promised a laptop when she gets into uni.

to which i hear cries of "thats not fair" from theboys but actually i think it is.

£50 for an A GCSE - then if not you spend the money on special all singing trowels ( they exist i assure you)

but if your a fair parent what your actually doing is accentuating the importance of academia.

amidaiwish · 10/04/2007 13:30

well my dad said to me
"For every A you get i'll give you £100, for every B £10, for every C £1"
that did really motivate me!
he was in for a bit of a shock when i got 7As though. ha ha.... and no, he didn't give me the money!

Londonmamma · 10/04/2007 13:34

I would certainly do it if I thought it would work! Much better to fork out some cash (within your budget, of course) than to face failure/resits etc if you know your child's capable but distracted by other teenage concerns!

Gobbledigook · 10/04/2007 13:36

Oh God, I had friends whose parents did this when I was sitting mine back in 1989!

There were girls I worked with in Tesco on Saturdays and Thursday nights whose parents let them give up work and replaced their pay so they didn't lose any money but could study instead.

Please.

Gobbledigook · 10/04/2007 13:40

'But then I'm probably just a swotty nerd with motivated swotty children. '

Me too Frogs

I never needed money to motivate me to do well. I don't really remember being 'rewarded' either although we may have gone out for a meal, I can't remember. My Nan took me shopping when I passed my 11+ and she bought me a Parker fountain pen

My children will NOT be paid for passing exams. I think it's bloody ridiculous.

Londonmamma · 10/04/2007 13:40

But are you SURE you won't feel differently when yours are that age??

MrsPhilipGlenister · 10/04/2007 13:40

Well, I hope it won't come to that... .

zippitippitoes · 10/04/2007 13:43

I bribed dd2 over her gcses ...it didn't entirely work by any means but it did show I cared at a time when things were pretty awful

she got some money for mocks but mostly still didn't do as well as she needed to for the cash for gcses but probably ended up with passes where she mostlikely wouldn't have attended the exams otherwise

it was a desperate measure

Londonmamma · 10/04/2007 13:45

Well, never say never. I'm sure there are lots of things we never thought we'd do as parents!!