Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Private School

26 replies

OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 20:28

I went to state school myself yet every day/night I wish I could send my 3 children (7,5 & 2) to a Private School in city that we stay in..
but I am soo sad/upset sometimes even cry to be honest that I can't as we can't afford it..
to make it worse I was just made redundant too and so far have been unable to secure a job..
I feel like a useless mum..

OP posts:
shivermytimbers · 24/08/2017 20:32

Right... this is going to sound harsh... STOP IT!
Your children can be happy, successful, well rounded individuals with a state school education.
I've met some right toss pots in my time who had very expensive educations but were quite frankly awful, awful people (no offense to those with kids in public school - there are toss pots in all walks of life etc. etc.)

RicStar · 24/08/2017 20:34

I think you may be feeling a bit down / fed up so fixating on this one thing you can't do. There are soooo many much more important things to do for your kids. I am sure you do many of them. Focus on what you can do not what you can't change.

MerryMarigold · 24/08/2017 21:00

Eh?? Give your head a big, fat wobble.

whyareusernamessodifficult · 24/08/2017 21:15

It sounds a bit cliched but the support and encouragement they get at home is so much more important than what school they go to.

The most important thing at the moment is to encourage them to enjoy learning.

HRHPrincessMegan · 24/08/2017 21:15

I went to an expensive independent school, DH went to a very tough comp. We met at work. So despite are different educational paths through junior and senior school, by uni we were on the same track and eventually we ended up in the same place. Literally and figuratively.

One of the most overlooked common denominators to "success" academically imo is having parents who care. You clearly do.
Your kids will be fine.

Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:28

Thank you ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:29

So true, Thankyou ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:29

Hahaha I like your message cheered me right up, Thankyou ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:31

Wow.. I never realised/thought of it like that, your right , Thankyooou ❤️

OP posts:
AlexanderHamilton · 24/08/2017 21:32

I've just had to withdraw ds from supposedly the best private school in our area as they weren't meeting his needs.

Dd went to a private junior school & underachieved because they didn't pick up on a specific learning issue.

Ktown · 24/08/2017 21:32

I have a child at a private prep. Her 'best mate' from nursery it at the local state. They are both bright girls and are doing exactly the same academically.
As for manners and confidence they are the same.
I need after school club, and wraparound care, and like you, I went to a state school which made me nervous. I really wouldn't worry.

Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:33

LoL @ Tosspots, you are sooo right, Thankyou ❤️

OP posts:
tinypop4 · 24/08/2017 21:33

There are many things that you might cry every night about, but not sending your dc to private school should not even begin to feature on your list.
What do you think is so wonderful about private school that it's worth such angst?
The state provides many thousands of good and outstanding schools across the country where, as exampled today, children excel and come out with top grades, top uni places and great jobs.
Your success as a parent does not depend on whether you can afford private school or not.

Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:34

Ooo wow.. thank you for sharing, I really appreciate it ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:35

Thank you for your kind words ❤️

OP posts:
LoyaltyAndLobster · 24/08/2017 21:39

Hun, you really need to stop thinking about it and focus on the things that you can give your children.

Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:41

I don't know why I get upset.. I've never been to private school myself so even I don't know why I want them to go .. I have family but don't actually have any friends .. I sometimes feel I only want them to go as I see myself as a failure ..
(I am a great mum , I'm just a failure at everything else..) Thankyou for your message your right about successful as parent ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:45

I have honestly been trying to stop thinking about it since my first was born .. but for some reason this thought of "private school" I can't get rid off..
I always get this feeling off "I want them to be successful in life" Thank you for your kind message ❤️

OP posts:
tinypop4 · 24/08/2017 21:48

Op let me tell you something. I teach in a private school - it's fine, it's okay the kids are nice. But really it isn't any better than state schools I've worked at in recent years. Quality of teaching =same, facilities =similar, kids behaviour= similar. A lot of private schools are very average and the nearest state school will be as good if not better. I could send my dc to the junior part of my school for very low fees- I don't, they go to the local state infants because I feel it is of the same if not slightly better quality.
Forget about private school and find all the great THings about their current schools.

Ttbb · 24/08/2017 21:49

They are still young. If you get on board now studying for 11+ you can get them into a grammar which is the next best thing.

Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:51

Really? Wow.. good to hear a teachers point of view , Thankyou for sharing this, I really appreciate it..❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 21:52

Thank you for your message ❤️

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 24/08/2017 22:04

They are still young. If you get on board now studying for 11+ you can get them into a grammar which is the next best thing.

Worth checking if they exist in One's area, before she sets her heart on it!

Original poster
OneCanOnlyDream · 24/08/2017 22:06

I'm in Edinburgh 😊

OP posts:
morningtoncrescent62 · 26/08/2017 15:20

Ha, I read this thinking that the OP was probably in the best city in the world Edinburgh from the reference to 'the city that we stay in'. Glad to see I was right Smile

One, I don't know whereabouts in the city you are, but my two DDs did just fine in state schools in Edinburgh. Their three cousins, my DNs, did equally well in the independent sector in southern England. I have to say, when they were growing up, I did from time to time wonder if my sister was the better mother, for being able to send her girls to an independent school. And in Edinburgh it's pretty hard not to be aware of the independent schools as they're some of the biggest and most beautiful buildings in the city! But as pps have said, if you can't afford it (and most people can't) then it's a waste of time and energy to fret over something that's never going to be possible. I'm sure there are lots of fantastic things you do for and with your DC, and there will be lots of lovely schools to which you can send them.

There are quite a few threads about Edinburgh schools on the scotsnet section of MN if you want advice on state schools near you. And if you're absolutely set on the private sector there are probably people there who can talk about scholarships to the Edinburgh independent schools.

Swipe left for the next trending thread