The age old state - private debate

[Ditzymumofone]

Our DS is currently in a small private infants, selected based on advice from nursery as to the most suitable route. Have just unexpectedly hit the decisions about next stage and its daunting. We are in an area with sperb state schools. After a school review again the advice that small school would be best with one to one help due to confidence issues, seems DS is very bright but doesn't know it which causes grief when he thinks he can't do stuff when in fact once its done he can't believe how easy it was. The recommendation is a fab prep school (as long as the confidence improves) but this is expensive and we have concerns about the mindset of this envioronment. Have started looking into state and private options and am horrified to be told by local juniors we can 'risk' applying but as DS is not in the feeder infants it is a risk! So that might make the decision anyway. It all seems so crazy when DS is 4 but for the prep schools the lists are filling up so we need to register (oh that revenue generating trick!) Any ideas anyone?

I would go and have a good look around the local state schools before making any decision. I have worked for 10 years in state education and 1 year in private and would send my child to a good state school every time. Meet the head, meet the children and read as much info as you can get. I guess you could always apply for the prep and turn down the place if he got into a good state school couldn't you?

I definitely think that you need to look across all of your available schools. Really the only influence that the private/state status of school should have is whether you are able and willing to pay if necessary. The ability to pay merely extends your choices of schools, but you need to look at all of your possible schools and determine the best one for ds.

In my limited experience of pre-prep/prep I have found that most of the individual support is for children with English as a second language, and support for children with emotional/behavourial issues is more limited. I would probably talk to the schools and see how they could support the needs of your ds.

We moved our dd out of private into state - and her work has slipped so much, we are going back into private again just as soon as we can. We're in a solid suburban area with supposedly decent state schools - but they are not the same - if you have the money, pay for it, if its a good school! If you have several children, in most cases private will be out of the question - then you'll need to supplement the education at the state school by putting extra in yourself at home, and by out-of-school activities. If you have a really bright kid, then they will flourish wherever they are.

We found private schools best but we could afford it. No point in breaking the bank for it if you have good schools around assuming he could get a place at them. If you can afford it the private option may be best. Have you had a think about the differences between state and private, how parents are treated, the environment etc? Fab prep school sounds fab. The mindset is presumably to get the best out of the pupils whilst developing them nicely as pupils which is how most prep schools are.

Hi sorry to hijack this thread but I always thought that prep schools are purely for high achievers. I am still in a quandering of what to do with my two 8 and 6. Neither are academic and both need help to move along the system. I have seen a lovely prep which they spent the day but my reservation was that all the others would be 'so clever' and mine would be left behind. Is it not true that prep schools are to prepare them into selective senior schools. Appreciate your thoughts on this.
XX

It depends on the prep and how selective it is. We have a combination of scholarships to the selective independents at 11 and 13, some go onto the local selective grammars, and then there are one or two good non-selective independents at secondary which soak up those who wouldn't suit the selective schools. (We live in a borough which on the whole lacks decent secondary schools unless you meet very strict church involvement requirements - mere church attendance is definitely not enough!) If you can afford it I would have a look at the local private schools to see if they would suit your children better - they might, or they might not.

My youngest dd is at a prep school (moved 12 months ago) but it is completely non-selective. There is a wide range of abilities in each class. The difference between this school and the state school is that they do manage to get each child working to their potential. They will also tell you which schools you should be looking at for each child, whether it be the 'uber-selective' Withington or Manchester High, or those more geared to children who need extra help. They have children going to all of them.
However, the school she is at doesn't push for the most selective schools if they do not think they would suit your child. There is another school near here where they will push to get into the most selective, and the children will sometimes struggle when they get there. I think you can usually tell by the 'feel' for the school.
HTH

Thanks to you both. Ladymuck, sorry what do you mean when you say look at the local private school to see if this would suit them better. I take it this would not be a prep school but non selective private school.

Oh and the prep we have looked at is non selective (would have to be!). Do you think this would indicate that the pupils are generally not the most academic.

The main perk in my opinion is that the ability to pay gives you a wider choice of school - I would look at all available schools personally. Round here prep indicates that the school goes to 13 rather than 11.

In terms of non-selective prep = none of the pupils being particularly academic - not sure. Ours is academically non-selective at 4, which at least a quarter of the boys coming from homes where English isn't spoken at home (though the parents do speak English - it just isn't their home language). By year 1 all of them have a reading age higher than their actual age, though there is still a fairly large range in the class. Ultimately between a third and one half of the boys will typically get scholarships to independent schools at either 11 or 13. It is hard to judge until you go round a school and quiz the head - they're usually fairly forthcoming about what sort of the school they are, especially to late entrants.

Ladymuck thanks for that. How would they qualify for a scholorship? You can see I am clued up with all of this! Itzymumofone I will buzz off now and let you have your thread back!
XX

Varies across the schools - some set an additional set of papers on top of the entracen exam, others give them absed on performance in entrance exam plus interview. Most of the scholarships are academic, but you can also get them for music, art and sport.

Don't think non-selective nec. means less academic. It may just mean that the parents are looking for something slightly different. Don't forget, most of these schools will be taking children at 3 or 4, when it's very difficult to tell anyway. There is also the situation we're in, where child is underperforming in state schools. We've since been told she's G&T in maths and science and would be able to get in (and cope with) any of the school round here (inc Manchester High and Withington ). I preferred the non-selective simply because I really didn't know where dd would fit in, and they were very honest in their assessments.
BTW, although it's called a prep school it only goes up to 11, term seems to be interchangeable round here (NorthWest).

Also, ask about the number of scholarships they get offered, and where to. They are usually happy to give out this info.

Round here, scholarships aren't usually worth much anyway (£500 per year), just used as an indication that the school would like you to attend, but there are reasonable State schools as well so don't know if this makes a difference. If you need help with fees you would need to ask for bursary, usually only available when income up to approx £35k, and only goes to the VERY brightest children.

Interesting - locally the scholarship are up to 50% of fees - so worth £6k per annum. Minimum scholarship woudl be 10% (so £1,200).

Generally, school fees round here (Manchester/S.Manchester) are around £8k per annum. You pay less because it rains more