Can anyone recommend a good co-ed day school outside of London/SE?

[Tumblethumps]

My health hasn't been too good and DH and I are seriously considering upping and moving somewhere a little less crazy for a calmer pace of life. We have 3 DSs and 1 DD, DS1&2 are Y7&8 and DS3&DD are Y1&R. Looking for a town rather than middle of the countryside but I want to base search around areas with a good co-ed independent school. Can anyone recommend any? Do your children attend one you're happy with? I really don't know where to start.

Do you have any preference for where in UK? (Maybe near family?)

In your shoes, I'd probably cash in the school fees and buy a house on the doorstep of St Aidan's in Harrogate.

But if there's no way you'd make enough faith points, then I'd move to Oakham. It's a lovely all-round school.

Thanks, AnotherNewt. Commited atheists I'm afraid so not looking for a faith school. I do know Oakham a little as we lived in Stamford for 2yrs when DS1 was a baby but I found Stamford very cliquey and I guess I associate Oakham with similar but I'll have another look.

Oh and no family. Sadly all GPS have passed away.

Are you looking for selective or non-selective?

What are your DC like?

What features do you want in a school?

If you narrow it down a bit, you'll avoid getting a list of every single co-ed private school in the whole damned country.

Ok, DS1 is bright, somewhat geeky and likes chess and stuff. DS2 is academically gifted and very talented at both hockey and cricket. DS3 is academically average but is doing fine and loves most sport. DD is a bit too young to tell. Bright enough but incredibly wilful and needs copious amounts of exercise in order to stay calm and sleep well. School to fit all 4 preferable

We spent 1yr in Edinburgh before DS3&DD was born and the boys attended George Watson's. It was a superb school so looking for something similar without the crazy pace of life in SouthEdinburgh

Bath? I when ever I go there I think how know very civilised it is and you could live on the edge and have the best of both worlds. If you ever miss London then Bristol which is very near by has a mini London feel. Don't know that much about schools there's except a friends bright DD was at the Royal High School Bath (girls) and was very happy and did very well and I think there are at least two or three other independent schools.

Thanks, Anew. I'll look at schools in bath.
I'm hoping for some specific school recommendations. It's very difficult to do a random search online for co-ed independent schools without specifying an area. I'm not even sure what I want. I'd like a bigger garden and a bit less craziness. We have, at various points, lived in Edinburgh, Manchester (well Cheshire) and London and I know I'm looking for somewhere a little less 'fast' than those if that makes sense. To also step my children back a little from privilege and decadence and religious consumerism. I know, I know, I sound nuts but in my head we can find somewhere gentler but still access all they love about school.

You could try York/North Yorkshire and go for St. Peter's, also looking at Bootham

King's Bruton? Not wildly academic, but good all rounder and down to earth. The area definitely has the slower feel you are looking for. Monkton might also fit the bill.

I would say Sherborne but, although there is a boys' and girls' school, it is definitely not co-education from 13-18 and would not be a step back from 'privilege'. Nice place though, and the schools are lovely.

Leys and the Perse in Cambridge, also Sancton Wood

Thanks again, AnotherNewt. Just had a look as York does appeal to me. But St Peters is mainly boarding which I'm not keen on and Boothams seems fairly rooted in its Quaker values, which is fine but not for us as I'd rather not opt for a faith school.

I know I'm being awkward. But I think somewhere like York is likely what I'm looking for. Although good friends used to live in Harrogate and it seemed just like Cheshire which in turn was just like South Edinburgh and N London. Maybe the problem is it all seems just too posh and polished for me and I'm very much reevaluating things due to my health.

Ideally I'd like an excellent independent school in a nice down to Earth town where I see more trees than range rovers.

Oundle with its associated prep Laxton would fit the bill perfectly. South oxfordshire is independent school nirvana but most aren't coed at secondary.

For Bath, try Monkton Combe

If you're thinking of Bath, KES is co-ed and selective and an entirely day school. There are others too: Monkton Combe not so academic, Prior Park has a v long day as runs to a boarding timetable.

Kings Bruton is also more of a boarding than a day school.

Thanks, lowdoor. King's Bruton looks interesting. Sherborne has mainly a boarding atmosphere and is too posh for me plus I'm keen on co-ed if possible.

Thanks Boffinmum, I hadn't really considered Cambridge but I'll have a look.

Well there's always Fyling Hall just up the hill from Robin Hood's Bay on the Yorkshire coast.
But, it's a very small school - something like 40 pupils in each year group - and you couldn't realistically live further away than Whitby (which is a long way from anywhere).
And it's mostly boarding, but does have quite a history of day pupils.

Why are you so sure it has to be an independent school? There really are some super state schools out there... absolutely accept you are prepared to pay, but in a lot of "slower paced" areas of the country, the state schools genuinely are a good option.

Elmers, I know there's lots of good state schools. I'm a secondary English teacher in a state school. I also taught in Primary for years before switching. But all my experience tells me is that even the best state schools with the most commited staff can't compete with good independents in terms of class sizes and facilities. Lots of independent schools are a bit rubbish, I know that. But the 3 big day schools I've experienced in the 3 big cities we've lived in have been amazingly vibrant. I just need to get away from that pace to recuperate and get well.

I know I'm looking for a needle in a haystack and my older boys are less than happy at the idea of leaving town so I'm probably being v selfish about the whole thing. Thanks for suggestions I'll look at all of them in more detail.

Shrewsbury is going co-ed...

Dauntseys? Beautiful quiet villages around there and I have never heard anyone say a bad word about the school.

Bilton Grange (Prep) and Rugby (Senior) ?
Highly affordable property.
Or Lincoln? Lots of options in /around Lincolnshire including good Grammars
Property some of cheapest in UK

Avebury, thanks but I fear Dauntsey's is very much boarding/public school territory which I don't really want. Noteven, I think Shrewsbury is similar.
Fundamentally I want a good quality day school. Ideally no boarders but I'm starting to wonder if they only exist in cities. As I said, finding something similar to what we had in Edinburgh (George Watson College) is what I'd like to find. Thanks for all the input; all really helpful.