5 yo boy behaviour in school

[dilligaf]

we moved to the country from the town last year. Had to change ds school from small private class of 10 to state primary class of 30. Also a job share situation so 2 teachers to get used to. Ds behaved badly wont conform and doesnt complete tasks e.g writing which he hates. Can read OK. Slow at changing for P.e. Has seen various professionals no diagnosis of any problem. Is fine in all other situations polite and pleasant. Other children like him and he has contact with lots of our long term friends. We want to go back to the town but are concerned that he will have problems with the move. Currently attends school part-time different arrangements on different days - very confusing . Has made progress and is behaving better though lots of room for improvement! Where do we go from here anyone been in similar situation?

somehow it seems to me that a whole chunk has been missed out of this story. A child asks for a drink, teacher says it's not the right time for drinks, child gets flask from lunchbox, teacher holds it over his head, child pushes teacher, teacher threatens exclusion if it happens again.

Well, is this the first time the child has asked for a drink? has the teacher provided a cup of water many times already that day? has the teacher warned to child not to ask again? was break time coming up? I don't know what to think.

I can see good reasons why a teacher would not allow water flasks permanently on a desk. My sons are fiddlers. I guarantee they would be forever unscrewing the lids and inevitably water would get spilt. At worst you could have quite a water fight with 30 children all squirting their drinks bottles at each other.

I cannot imagine that a teacher or classroom assistant would not respond to a plea for a drink if it happened the once, unless lunchtinme or breaktime was about to start. If dilligaf's boy had only asked the once, and the teacher responded as she did, then that's bad.

A slightly similar thing happened with my son in reception. Apparently he kept asking if he could go off to the loos by himself during lesson time. The teachers were fine about him doing this to begin with, but cottoned on to the fact that he was more happy to be in the loos than in the classroom. The teacher talked to us about the need for ds to fit in with school routine and said she would stop letting him go to the loo alone during lesson time if this continued. He would be allowed to go only when an assistant was free to take him. I had no problem with this - it didn't feel like she was being harsh because she had spoken to us, and my son was making going to the loo into a game.

i agree that under no circumstances should a child push a teacher. i was just explaining the background to what happened. we have told ds that no way do you either refuse to do what the teacher says nor do you push or hit any adult. On the whole the school have tried very hard to help him settle in. I think the problem of the drink came about because he was not getting a drink at lunchtime he was bringing it home unopened. have spoken to the school and dinner ladies will try to ensure he gets a drink. also i think the other teacher (job share) tends to let them have a drink when they want one so he was perhaps confused as to the rule - still as you say no excuse. i am hoping he will settle down next term. we are reinforcing the kind of behaviour he needs to exhibit in school. he actually seems to be making progresss with writng i have been trying to do a little reading and writing with him everyday so he maybe he will feel more able to cope with the demands placed on him. at the end of the day ia am sure we all (school and home) want the same things for him. I was actually told what happened by another adult who was present.

For what it's worth, my dss's school have a policy now about taking extra drinks into school. Reception, Yr1 and Yr2 are given a drink after morning and afternoon breaks, either milk (that parents have to pay for) or water. Yrs 3-6 can take a sports bottle with water to drink throughout the day, it is classed as a privilege and they have strict rules i.e. not throwing it round the classroom or at each other!
BTW I agree that it was wrong of him to just take the drink and push the teacher ... but let's not forget he's only 5!!! try not to worry too much, my dss also once kicked his teacher because "that woman is always shouting" - he never did again though.

thanks lets hope it was a one off he never pushes other children so it was a bit out of character.we are going on holiday tomorrow so iwont be online for 3 weeks no internet access. will let you all know how he is in the new term