Please help, at the end of my tether with my YR7 son!

[Aufish]

My dear son makes me feel like crying! When he started High School in September I went to the school and made them aware of the fact that he doesn't like to do homework and asked for them to inform me of any homework via his school planner. The school agreed to write any homework in his planner for me to make sure that it was being done, this has been not always happening even though I have spoken to his form teacher on a number of occasions. He has already been on report and is now under threat of going on it again for not doing this homework. Today I was looking through his planner to see that he had been in trouble for throwing stones at the school building. We have taken away his computer games and tv on many occasions down to the fact he hasn't been doing the homework and has now just lost his pocket money for throwing stones at the school, nothing seems to work and the school are not doing what we have asked them on so many times. I just do not know what else to do to make sure he does the work he has to do. Has anybody got any suggestions please, they would be gratefully received. He makes me feel so sad at the moment as I can see him acheiving nothing in life if he carries on like this.

Is he involved in any team sports or other physical activity Aufish?

The reason I ask is that ime boys who take part in this sort of thing seem to have more energy, higher self esteem and just more get up and go than those who don't.

No, he doesn't like any kind of sport but does take part. He does suffer from dyspraxia and the school are aware of this and do make allowances for this. His primary school teacher also backed me up with the fact that he was a child who would not do homework unless we knew about it and the high school reassured us and his teacher that he would be kept under a tight reign as far as this was concerned. He just does not understand that he needs to work hard to get anywhere in life. He did alot of good work at primary school and acheived alot and yet since he has gone to high school it has been a constant battle with him to do homework.

Is the homework he is asked to do purposeful and meaningful to him?

Do the teachers mark it and give constructive feedback?

Sounds to me like he can't see the point of doing it and I have to say that some homework is pointless in which case, his reluctance is entirely understandable.

This is of no help whatsoever in getting him to do the homework however...

My ds is a bit like this, too, though getting better now.

You need to find out from the school which subjects are set as homework each day, eg for my son, Monday is science, history and art. Even if it's not in the homework diary, therefore, the chances are it's been set. I have occasionally been told by my ds that no, there definitely is no science homework and I've then made him phone one of his swottier classmates to ask whether there's any HW and, surprise surprise, yes there is.

IMO, it's not realistic to expect each teacher to write the h/w in your son's diary, it's his responsibility, but they should be asked to ask him directly if he's written it in. He'll soon get fed up of being singled out like that and write it in!

I do sympathise with you, they can be lazy little sods at times!

aufish

I would try to determine exactly what this school are doing with regards to helping your son and his dyspraxia.

Some secondary schools (what I am saying here, many schools both primary and secondary!) do sweet fa with regards to dyspraxia - I would also have a word with this school's SENCO re him. Does he receive any help in class at all?

Could you try giving him loads & loads of praise for any piece of work he does do? I'm afraid I have to wade through many tedious essays to motivate my ds. Worth it though. You can usually find something positive to say about it. Try NOT to point out all the mistakes though - that has the reverse effect. (You might mention that he should do a final check before handing it in if you're truly appalled.) If nothing else, say you can see that he's tried really hard and made a huge effort.