Hi zizou. Sorry, I didn't go on the PC last night so only got Troutpout's email this morning.
OK...well, basically, his teacher was a lot more positive in person than the report would have suggested. I said that we had been quite shocked at the "average" grades - particularly in literacy, which (I thought) was his strongest subject. The teacher explained that the attainment marks on the report were based on one test (which seems very unfair) and said that none of the children had done particularly well that day. He said with ds1 it's very apparent when he is "fired up" by a subject as that's when he produces his best work - if he's not, it shows Basically he said that (despite the report) ds1 is doing fine - he's one of the brightest in the class, and gets by perfectly well just coasting. But it's frustrating - as a teacher (and as a parent!) as he is capable of a lot more. He said he will do fine in his SATs next year, even with the level of effort he is putting in...but of he pulled his finger out he could do exceptionally well.
I felt a lot better after the Parents' Evening - though still frustrated. Ds1 has always been very quiet, painfully shy - he doesn't put himself forward for anything. He's a lot better than he was - his first nursery thought he was autistic because he didn't speak/wouldn't make eye contact/wouldn't interact with anyone else and that continued into reception class at school. He's still very shy though and quite happy to take a back seat.
As I said on the other thread I did ask the teacher about the wisdom of putting ds1 "at the back" (which turned out not to be the back at all - but a table to one side). The teacher had implied that he put ds1 there as he could rely on him to get on with his work and not mess about. I queried that as it seemed that sometimes ds1 was not getting on with his work - and perhaps he was hiding away a bit. The teacher explained that he was loathe to move him to another table as some of the children on the other tables can be quite disruptive (there are a lot of children in the class who are quite...er...challenging). He also said that, while he does pick on ds1 sometimes to answer questions he doesn't want to do it too much in case he gets a persecution complex.
How old is your dd? Do you have a parents' evening coming up soon (they usually have one after a report, don't they?) I would just say you are concerned, reading the report, and what strategies can the teacher suggest to bring her out of her shell a bit. Not in an accusatory way - maybe in a "what can we do to help at home too" way. And talk to dd - try and find out if there is an underlying reason. You may find - as I have with ds1 - that she isn't unhappy in the slightest with the status quo. Anything that will boost her confidence is a good thing - ds1 has discovered football in the last year and I think that has made him feel more "in" at school, rather than the shy, quiet boy on the edge of the action. He's never going to be an "in your face" child - but I want him to be quietly confident - so I encourage, coax etc (oh and nag - I nag about home work a lot). As discussed on the other thread, bribery seems to help a bit too - setting a specific target and a reward. Homework can be a battle so we've started offering incentives for a job well done with no moaning (football socks, an afternoon of footie in the park, staying up to watch a match...are you detecting a theme here ?)
And I've been trying to encourage him to participate a bit more in lessons - I ask every day "did you put your hand up?" and I'm getting a yes more often than a no these days.
So long as your dd is not unhappy - so long as there is no underlying reason for her shyness/mediocre report - then this could just be a blip. Maybe she's not keen on this teacher? As someone said on my other thread though - some kids do just coast, and do perfectly well (someone's ds had been just the same all through his school career and still got a 2:1). Tbh, when I talked to my dad about this he said "ahhh, he's just like his Grandad" - and apparently all his reports were "could do better", "could go far with a little more application" etc. And he did OK.
But I know how frustrating and worrying it is as a parent.
Blimey, did you want a whole essay ?