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Original poster

What is the TRUE cost of private school?

129 replies

ElenyaTuesday · 19/03/2007 15:00

I hope someone can help me here. We have decided to look at private senior schools for ds1 for next year. The fees are around £11,000pa which is just about manageable. My main worry is the cost of everything else - what else would we have to budget for? I know that music tuition and exam fees aren't included but are there other common costs at private school that we need to consider?
Thanks.

OP posts:
geekgrrl · 19/03/2007 17:56

best for my children

NotanOtter · 19/03/2007 18:06

well my kids are at state grammar

we have to pay lunches - £10 a week

uniform all ok but blazers £80

trips abroad

trips

bus fares £180/term

music fees £ 150/term

roisin · 19/03/2007 18:06

The thing is it is very easy for me in theory to look at the secondary where I work and say it would be fantastic if the 30 brightest children from the most affluent and supportive backgrounds who live in the catchment area chose to attend to this school rather than another local state school or the independent school. And maybe if all those children did come, then the school would make more effort to cater for such children.

BUT given that the school does not cater well for those children, that those children are rare in our school, and that my ds1 is one of those children ... there is no way I am going to sacrifice his happiness and his education on the altar of "idealistic principles".

Original poster
ElenyaTuesday · 19/03/2007 18:10

Ah, sorry folks - I didn't want this to become a private vs. state debate. My children are at state primary school and it is fine. It's just that I am concerned that ds1 would be lost in a big comp (although he may end up there anyway if he doesn't pass the entrance tests) as he is rather a strange character. I was state educated myself and dh was privately educated (abroad, so no helpful tips from him) but I got into a better University than him and got a better degree! So I don't think private is a cure-all, just for some children it may be better.

Thanks for all the advice re the costs - there are quite a few things to factor in!

OP posts:
Honeymum · 19/03/2007 18:18

"There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your child. There is no way I would send my DD to a State school."

Good job for you that you don't have to PPP....pity the rest of us oiks.

I'm with Geekgrrl on this one.

Hulababy · 19/03/2007 18:26

Oh, please...don't start yet another state v private debate!!! Each to their own and all that surely?! Original poster asked a practical question, wanting practical answers - not an arguement!

Whoooosh · 19/03/2007 18:33

Honeymum-I agree it was an unfortunately phrased comment" but please do not "tar us all with the same brush".

I would far rather have my Mum here to see her Granddaughter grow up but I know she would be happy that I spent what she saved all her life for to give dd the advantages she never had.

We all want the best for our kids and that may mean making playdough with them,rolling in the mud or paying for the best education you can....

Honeymum · 19/03/2007 18:34

Sorry - but I was on behalf of all the parents who can't afford to opt out, that's all. I shall shut up now. Apols to OP - hope you make the right decision.

uptomyeyes · 19/03/2007 18:36

DS1 went to an independent prep school for 5 years it cost £10 000 per year and there were 16 children per class. It was his version of living hell, despite being considered one of the very best independent schools in south london. Every day I stressed about his education - mainly because of the pressure from other parents and from teachers for all the children to be achieving academically two school years ahead of their chronological age and just general in your face stressiness about what everybody elses child was up to.

We moved him to a local state school - he has thrived ever since. The building is scruffier, the academic standards are not as high - for some of the children. But his confidence has soared and he is accepted as being important in himself and not a failure for not being the same as everybody else. His early school years were damaging and I'm ashamed of myself for not being brave enough to do something about it earlier.

Learning is a life long process it doesn't have to be squished into x number of school years. The buildings do not have to be pristine or the lawns clipped and ready for croquet for a child to learn.

steinermum · 19/03/2007 18:38

Honeymum, what's PPP?

MerryMarigold · 19/03/2007 18:44

didn't want to be nasty to OP, but you must admit, the question was BEGGING for that answer! (and she had a fair bit of practical advice already). geekgrrl, i do admire your principles. if you can't afford it (like me) it is much easier to have the principles!

Original poster
ElenyaTuesday · 19/03/2007 18:49

Honeymum, no apology required - I entirely see where you are coming from!
Thanks Hulababy for the support.
Uptomyeyes, that's interesting - I do sometimes think bright children get a better chance to shine and gain confidence in an ordinary school - that was certainly my personal experience. I worry that this will be the wrong decision for ds1 but that's motherhood I suppose (worry, worry, all the way!)
Thanks again to the other posters for their help. I haven't been on Mumsnet for long so I'm still learning which topics upset people!

OP posts:
Whoooosh · 19/03/2007 18:50

At the end of the day-we should all have the right to choose the scholthat serves our children best-whether state or indpendent.
MM-dead impressed with your attitude

Judy1234 · 19/03/2007 19:05

A lot of private schoolls are not that academic and do the less bright children a lot of good so it's not as simple as all private schools are hopeless if your child can't keep up.

I can understand the argument. If my wonderful 5 children had gone to state school from 5 - 18 that might have benefited the schools they were at but I doubt it has much effect given only 7% of children go to private schools and quite a few of them aren't the clever ones anyway. if instead 20% only went to state schools then they might indeed become an isolated poor ghetto for the less well off. As virtually everyone goes to state schools bar this 7% the effect on overall type of children at the school is less.

batters · 19/03/2007 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mum2sons · 19/03/2007 21:49

I had been considering private school for my 11 year old DS and weighing up pros and cons. We can afford it but I hated my own private school.The biggie that has made my mind up recently was my DS coming back from his French trip and telling me that the other school (private) got told off for shouting at the kids from my DS`s school "you get all your clothes from Tescos".

mum2sons · 19/03/2007 21:58

p.s for clarity, my DS goes to an excellent state school!

confusedandignorant · 20/03/2007 09:55

and don't forget the little extras like deposits, fees in lieu of notice, longer holidays so may need more child care if you are working.

Judy1234 · 20/03/2007 10:19

That's true. Mine had 10 weeks summer holiday and I took 2 weeks off so paying for 8 weeks of childcare.

NotanOtter · 20/03/2007 10:22

omg ppp

fembear · 20/03/2007 11:52

Don't forget that the inflation rate for private school fees (about 7%) runs at about twice the inflation rate for wages (approx 3-5%).

Judy1234 · 20/03/2007 12:00

Yes and 80% of school fees bills is teachers' salaries so there is a big link to those.

RTKangaMummy · 20/03/2007 12:06

Teachers wages DO NOT GO UP BY 7% IME

Soapbox · 20/03/2007 12:08

It is the increased cost of meeting defined benefit pension costs that has increased the overall salary burden and the knock on effect of that is increased fees.

confusedandignorant · 20/03/2007 12:16

There is also the contribution to bursary and assisted places so the school appears to be doing something for the local community and also for the scholarship places which the school needs to boost the overall exam scores