Private school, do we or don't we?? Advice needed please

[niamhsmummy]

Ok, will try to make this short!! DD is 3.5 will be 4 in August and due to start school in September . Anyway, DS is nearly 10 and has been recently diagnosed with ADD and is on medication. Is on part time schooling etc... because he won't stay in class all the time. Anyway, although he has problems I feel his school could have done more to help him. Now that DD is coming up for school I am thinking would private school be better for her as I feel thats the way my son should have gone. She goes to the nursery which is part of the school I am looking at and DS went to the nursery too but at the time wasn't in a position to send him to school there. I will have to start working to pay for it as I am a SAHM. Hubby is not interested and would rather spend his moeny on himself whereas I would do anything to ensure that they go to the school I want them to and that I feel will benefit them the most. Will private school be better than putting her into the state system or is that a stupid question??

It's a tricky one - would your DS resent the fact when he's older that you didn't send him to a private school if you send your DD?
I think it depends on the state school you would send her to. There are so many great state schools but smaller class sizes in private schools would perhaps be more beneficial.
I would never send my children to board but, if we had the money, which we don't, might consider private day purely because I think they would get more attention and they do more sport and engineering in private schools.
At the end of the day, it's your personal choice.
The only thing is, if you have to go out to work (if your DD goes private) you might have less time at home to spend with your DS.

Don't be fooled into thinking private schools are always better. Ofcourse they are better equiped, have better grounds and smaller classes, but you cannot guarantee better teaching or a more sympathetic ear.Do what you think is best for your children,but only you can decide if the repecusions of you working will be worth while.

Thanks for the replies. I would only go to work in the evenings. My dad owns his own business so can do some work for him. I just think that dd would benefit from going to private school as it is smaller classes, more disciplined etc... than the other school that she is currently down for. If she is anything like ds then this is what she will need. At the time of ds starting school I desperately wanted him to go to the private school but due to circumstances at the time it was impossible. I don't think ds will mind. he is struggling to get through school at the moment and we just need to plod on with him day by day and see where we get. Its difficult but I desperately don't want to see dd be let down like my son has been by his school. If she stayed in the state system then she would more than likely go to the school where our son is at present and I am severly unimpressed with it.

Private school sounds good then - go for it and know you're doing your very best for both your children.

There's always the option of home education.

check out

www.education-otherwise.co.uk

Check the private school out. Ours went at 4, all of them and have done well. 3 are at university now. Ask where the pupils go on to when they leave as that often shows how good the school is. I definitely felt in our case it was worth the money.

sounds like there are money issues between you and your partner. are you prepared to work for the next how many years to afford the private fees?

we made the decision to privately educate our children last year...DS (6) and DD (4) started in october last year, DS full time and DD 2 and a half days in kindergarten...

Just coming on for 6 months on.....it's the best thing that we ever did (relief really as we moved areas to go to where they go to !!) they seem to be thriving in the environment that they're in..and I'm sure that most of it is down to the small class size (11)

The school is fantastic pre-prep feeds into prep which feeds into Senior school at 13 so there is continuity for DC as they get older.

We'll be absolutely broke for the rest of our lives...but have made that choice and are thankful that we have the option to do it for them now...... Good luck, hope it works out well for you all !

I think there's enough of an age gap between your children for the older one to not be too jealous of the little one. You will be able to explain your thinking to him, reassure him you would have done the same for him if you could. As someone who didn't look at lots of schools and later regretted it I would say really do the rounds of those in your vicinity to see what's out there, it's not enough to go on hearsay. It would be good for you and your DH to reach some agreement on this - it's a big financial commitment for many years and, in the long run,(IMHO) it's probably better to have two parents getting along together and not rowing about money than to have gone to the best school in the area.

hi, in january we moved our ds1 from large state primary to very small private school- 9 in his class and thats 2 yr groups and he can stay til he has finished his gcses. he has AS and was really struggling socially at his old school. every night well almost as soon as he came out of school we would have huge meltdowns. also he was v bright and not being challenged. he was never going to reach anywhere near his potential. now, he loves going to school, he is taught to his level, and has friends for the first time ever! i dont hink its been that easy for him but we have seen a marked difference in his behaviour. he is suddenly happy!
we also have another ds and a dd. when we first decided to send ds1 we thought that maybe it was ok to send one and not the others but now i think differently. so when dd is in about yr2 i am going to send her and ds(who will then be in yr4). i dont work at the moment but plan to start work part time when dd starts school and just put that money aside for hers and ds2 s fees for when they start.
imo its the best thing we have ever done for ds1