State vs. Private for child with HFA

[StarsAndMarsBars]

DS5 has been diagnosed with high functioning autism. He completely failed to settle into a mainstream nursery. As in he flailed about screaming or hid in the corner. I tried for a year to settle him before giving up. A small pre-prep was recommended to us where he currently attends. He settled in beautifully and is very happy. But he can only stay until the end of year 2. We have spent a small fortune on private intervention for him while waiting for a diagnosis.

We were told he is unlikely to receive any help in a state school because he's not disruptive. I suppose I'm looking ahead and wondering what other people have found worked and if we should just plan to pay for private all the way through?

That depends very much on the schools you have available. Many mainstream private schools will not support SEN well but there are a few out there.

SEN in the state system can be very supportive but can also be frustrating depending how the school are with him. Moving into the state system you may initially have little choice about where he goes as it will depend very much where there are places available. If you have any choice then visit the schools and ensure you have a meeting with the SENCO at the school. It sounds from your post that he is not in need enough for an EHCP to be in place, but that might be worth looking into, especially if the current school are willing to put into writing the support he needs as evidence. With an EHCP in place then a state school would be obliged to provide the support detailed in it.

State or private, pick the school that is best willing to help support you and him. Have a look around and see if there is a specialist private school that may better fit his profile? There aren't many around but they do exist - DD attends one funded via her EHCP. They have small classes, low level stress approaches and a huge amount of support for every child who they know as an individual. The children are just lovely with each other there and the kind of behaviour that would be directed to them in mainstream school by other children especially as they get older is thankfully nowhere in sight.

Thanks for your reply. Would a specialist school be appropriate for a high functioning child? He is keeping up academically with the others but socially he's behind. He plays a narrow range of games and won't partake really outside that range. He doesn't form very close friendships although is very interested in being with other children even though it doesn't generally go well. He's not disruptive and will follow classroom rules.

That will depend on the ability range at the school but if he is keeping up academically then quite possibly a specialist placement is not going to be right for him. My daughter is one of the more able at her school but the expectations for her to get GCSEs are still low. We searched high and low to find a school to fit - all of the state SEN schools were a non started due to their academic levels being a lot lower than DD is capable of, but she was having so many problems at her mainstream school even with support that something had to change. I do feel lucky we found this school for her in the end.

There need to be more specialist schools available to support academically able children with emotional and social skill difficulties, they seem to fit into a black hole of no appropriate placements available most of the time. Mainstream with support really isn't enough for many of them.

We too have found that if a child is high functioning and very able there is very little provision even if the child is suicidal due to anxiety

In the end we found a school called Interhigh and DD has blossomed

we have also been very lucky to have this paid for by an EHCP we obtained when everyone said we couldn't he one due to DD being a high achiever

Dd has a statement and 1 to 1 support for the majority of each day and sometimes all day when she is struggling. She has HFA and is top 10% in her very large secondary school.
She attended a brilliant primary, not our catchment school because the statement gave us options,in a very deprived area. The school was inspirational in the support given to children with SEN quite unlike the support offered by our "outstanding" catchment school.
I'd say you need to look carefully there is no such thing as a typical independent or state school. Some are very good with SEN and some are frankly dire.You need to visit lots and speak to people of their experiences.
Dd's school had a reputation for being brilliant with SEN so there were many many children with SEN who travelled in from across the County. Parents and professionals are usually best placed to give you the heads up tbh
I would definitely pursue an EHCP as that gives you the choice of school and also ensures that ds's needs are assessed and reviewed at least yearly and you the right to demand that support is given in keeping with the EHCP guidance.
I daresay if I asked schools or teachers on here whether my HFA, top 10% not disruptive daughter would get an EHCP I'd be told she had no chance. But that isn't the case and it wasn't even that difficult to secure tbh (she got a statement age 3) You just need to be able to show need and show that you are willing to fight sometimes. Our LA rarely go to tribunal unless you want independent specialist school tbh.