Private or State for dyslexic boy

[Katharine]

Our eldest son who is 6 is struggling at his state school and we're seriously thinking about sending him to a private school. He is dyslexic (has been tested) although his current school don't accept it and he only gets 20 minutes special needs help with another boy a week. He was 6 in February and can't read or write and his self esteem is starting to crack. His behaviour is appaling at home - very bad tempered if he doesn't get his own way. There is a very good school locally which could help him but its a huge commitment financially and we couldn't do the same for our other two boys at the moment. We don't know what to do for the best. HELP.

I'm not a huge expert on special needs - but I do teach, so I come across lots of children with specific learning difficulties. It strikes me that with your son being the age he is, you need to start on the road to trying to get him statemented, or at least tested to determine the extent of his needs. Who tested him? Why won't the school accept it?

As far as state vs private, I would say it's down to the specific school rather than the school's funding method or status. It may be that the school he's in at the moment has an ineffectual special needs dept.

What I do know is that the pupils with statements have a certain amount of specfic support BY LAW and an individual education plan (IEP) that the school are obliged to ensure is followed. Can you arrange an appointment with the school's SENCo (spec. needs co-ordinator). You do have the law on your side, Katharine. Give me a moment and I'll dig out the website that tells your rights.

Katharine - The Government website is www.dfes.gov.uk and from there you can access pages on parents' rights in special education.

Last year my stepson's school decided that he was very behind in school (he was 6 at the time) and if he didn't reach a few basic goals (learning his alphabet and counting to 100) by the end of the summer he would be held back a year. His mother freaked out, decided that he was dyslexic, that it was our fault and that we had to do something about it. (not the least of what I have been accused of) We had him tested privately and he was pronounced mildly dyslexic. Although I was very sceptical of the results (not in general, but in my stepson's case) it was sufficient ammunition to get the school (in suffolk) to give him extra attention and have his progress assessed by a spec. needs coordinator. However, the real progress came in the 3 weeks we had him on vacation in Italy over the summer: armed with many packets of Pokemon cards as bribes and lots of encouragement (basically telling him that he knew how to do things that he didn't know how to do so that he would have the confidence to learn how to do them) we managed to achieve all the goals the school had outlined for him and give him enough confidence that he quickly caught up with his class in the following school year. It also helped that he got a new school teacher who he really liked. He may possibly be dyslexic, but I don't think that was his problem at that point in his schooling. Anyway, the point of this story is that a boy of 6 who can't read or write a)isn't that unusual b)isn't necessarily that way because of dyslexia c)might be able to be helped in other ways than expensive private school or frustratingly non-efficient state systems. Perhaps you could try some (fun!) private tutoring for a while to kickstart him into enjoying school.
I don't think einstein could read or write properly until the age of 11.

But Einstein WAS dyslexic!!!
Katharine have you contacted the LEA? The school should have arranged a meeting with an educational psychologist for you, esp if they won't accept the private test results. Are you happy with the school otherwise? Have you looked at other state options?

There can be quite long waiting lists to see the LEA educational psychologist (my job!) but they should help. The fact that your son is having behavioural problems at home also raises a red flag in my mind, frustration about school perhaps?
Could you go back to whoever organised the tests and see if they can point you towards someone who could help?

As for the private school perhaps this could be "an if all else fails" option? Certainly, I know of many families where one child is private for educational reasons and the others don't seem to have a problem with it.

My son has attended three different state primaries, and although he is not special needs, I am very aware how differently special needs children are assessed at each school.

I have witnessed vastly different teaching methods and standards of expectation at each school. My son, aged 5/6 especially, was always being singled out for distracting behaviour in class. At one school two years ago, he was made to sit by himself permanently while all the other children were placed in groups - the teacher just could not get him to settle. A few weeks later, when he moved school, he was put in a group and although still caused some distraction from time to time, he thrived and has continued to do so.

As others here say, your son's current school should agree to a special needs assessment with a view to getting statemented.

However, I would also advise you to look at other state schools as a precautionary measure. You may find there is a far more suitable state school for your son, saving you the need to resort to private education.

Good Luck

ks, does your son show any indicators for dyslexia apart from reluctance to approach reading? e.g. difficulty with sequence (such as the order of the days of the week), not knowing left from right, getting words jumbled (in speech etc)? The British Dyslexia Association website at www.bda-dyslexia.org.uk/ is very useful for checking out what sort of problems to look for.

If he doesn't have a whole bunch of those things going on, then you may be worrying yourself unneccessarily. Lots of kids are uninterested in reading at 5, and it's true of boys more often than girls. In many countries, reading isn't taught till children are 6 or 7, and some educationalists think we start on it far too early here.

I learned to read very early, and my parents were therefore a bit worried when my brother was still uninterested past 5. He got the hang of it in his own good time, and now at 32 has a very senior post in a local authority library service!

Another good book about children's difficulties with reading and writing is called "why Children Can't Read" by Diane McGuinness. It's published by Penguin. Although controversial (she is sceptical about how many children are dyslexic/rubbishes the Oxford Reading Tree) she does seem to have helped a lot of chiuldren overcome their problems and has produced a scheme (phono-graphix) that I've used with some success.

I've occasionally used phono-graphix at work but not that often as I'm responsible mainly for welsh-medium kids. It can be quite time consuming and it took me a while to be able to use it properly myself but it does seem to get results, esp with kids who have memorized whole words rather than sounds (something we're seeing quite a lot of. Yes, McGuinness does have her soap-box but I can see where she's coming from, dyslexia is "known" nowadays and in our attempts to label kids' problems I think it is something that gets leapt on. From what you've said of your DS I think phono-graphix might help. Could you perhaps find a suitable tutor to work with him? Lots of children don't cooperate well with their parents and perhaps as he's still so young he's wiped out after a day at school?

Thank you everyone for your advice - I didn't expect such a big response so quickly. Just to fill you in - our son was tested by the Helen Arkell Centre at Farnham when he was 4 3/4 as he was not progressing at nursery at all and we have alot of close family members who are dyslexic - my husband, my sisters two children and my mother to name a few. The tests showed that he had specific learning difficulties and that he needed extra "specific" help to learn to read and write. With a bursery he had speech and language private tuition for a year which helped him enormously - he thrives on 1:1. We then in April this year had him assessed at the DDAT centre in London who also confirmed that he had dyslexic tendencies and he is currently doing a series of exercises morning and night to help him - a long story which I will elaborate if anyone is interested. So far we have been doing it, with a great deal of struggle from Harry, for 7 weeks with no improvement - but I wouldn't expect it yet anyway. We desperately don't want Harry to be labeled as dyslexic and noone seems to recognise it until a child is 7 anyway - but we know that Harry is more than just a late developer. The school he is at currently is excellent (we moved to the village because of it's reputation) if you're average or above but not so good if you're special needs. I have a meeting with his teacher on Friday when I'm going to ask if he can now see an educational psychologist as there is such a waiting list to see one and so that some extra help can be set up for year 2. I know that lots of 6 year olds cannot read and write - my own father didn't read and write until he was 8 and he won the first Booker Prize! but there's more to our son than that. He shows so many behavourial traits of a typical "dyslexic" child that I'd be amazed if he wasn't. I will certainly push for the school to look into his development more but due to previous experience of ourselves and other people I don't hold out much hope. My husband and I were both educated privately and we would love for our 3 boys to have the same experience and the school we have in mind has a dyslexic school on the same site - I think we'll let him do the next year in the state system and think about moving him at the end of year 2. Our second son is going to start reception in September and is totally differend in character and ability and I have no worries about.
Thanks again for all your help.

Katherine, I know someone that attended state school yet they were released one morning a week to attend a local Dyslexia Institute. Their parents did pay for those sessions privately. I seems to have worked out well for them.

Katherine, this may help or not but in my DS's private school, children over or underachieving and put in the year most suited to their needs.

A child that started in year 2 in February only lasted until April until he was put in year 1. This has had a terrible affect on him and his self esteem and I think the school should have assessed him properly before he had to go through this. R

My son is dyslexic and I took him to a presentation recently about mind mapping and the guy said there that practically all the people who worked on the dinosaur animation/computerisation sections of jurassic park were dyslexic. That they needed people who could make the mental leaps necessary for the work that they do. This really impressed my teen son as he had a really negative view of his dyslexia at that point. He has always been encouraged to see this as part of him, like having blue eyes - ie something he cannot change and therefore must live with. But that presentation did wonders for his self esteem. I know they trot out various oldies as examples of dyslexic people 'making it against the odds' but the whole issue could do with modernising to keep up with todays yoof!! I have had to fight to get the help my son needed, but in the end I have taught him coping mechanisms from my own internet research and the UK dyslexic website which has a ton of useful info, I did get the toe to toe book too and that really helped him, also I found a book company called Barrington Stoke (I think) who make books specially for dyslexic kids, on yellowy paper and with interesting story lines. Good luck!