Visiting schools while I'm pregnant.

[Sprinkles12345]

We are looking at both state and independent. We are looking now as for independent it's better to have name down the day baby is born. Just wondering will the state schools think I'm a bit odd? has anyone else done this?

I completely disagree that you know what schools will suit your child age 3 or even that you properly understand what they're like. So much of their 'personality' is a projection of our relationship to them - it's why first borns are so often described as too sensitive for a big school, too shy, too clever, but their younger siblings are considered more robust.

At 3 I'd have said my ds was sweet but not academic (he was barely speaking). At 11, he was still very sweet and towards the top academically in his state primary. Now in y9, he's exceptionally good at maths, winning prizes in a selective school etc. And actually still very sweet, but I'm not sure what schools particularly cater for that.

Oh and we registered for his v. selective London secondary schools in November of y6.

How can a three year old be 'academic'?

A child can be hugely bright and in no way 'academic'.

That's what I mean - you can't tell - I should have written that if I were pushed, I'd have said he was sweet but not 'academic' (cos I had no idea as he didn't say much while all around me were bilingual fully literate 3 year olds, or at least that's what their parents told me). But people seem to mark their children down as clever/bright/academic at stupidly young ages. That's what I find a bit odd about people saying you just 'know' what your small child is like and what school would suit them. Really, a good state primary should be able to cope with any sort of child.

Apparently at our primary school's open days, the posher prospective parents always ask 'and how do you stretch the very able?' while dragging their not obviously genius toddler around!

I'm not talking about a secondary private???

Oh and to the poster saying about if I don't want to lose a reg fee maybe private isn't the way erm, what? If we all just gave money away for no reason, we would all be left with nothing.

Well you'll know if they're steady rules followers, idiosyncratic quirky type or boisterous kid that can't sit still!!!

But why not just put the names down at all possible schools and decide nearer the time? Or are you worried about losing a deposit?

Sprinkles I think it is perfectly appropriate to take a look at the private pre-prep and prep schools that you are considering before registration (and before birth). There may be some that you would never consider for your DC (regardless of his/her subsequent personality type) because you simply don't like them! So then you can avoid the registration fee.

I do sympathise with the cost - I have clients who have registered for more than ten London nursery/pre-prep/prep schools at £75-100 per school to guarantee the option when the time eventually comes, and it certainly adds up.

How much is the registration fee?
I would pay that and decide later. It's not throwing money away on nothing, it's reserving a place you may or may not use. You will learn more over the years talking to parents with older children. Your child may suit one school more than another. It's better to pay to keep your options open.

ermmm, I don't mean to be all doom and gloom, but have you considered if your dc will have any special needs? If you are being this organised, then you should do a thorough job and consider all options.

I have dc1 in private, and dc2 in state education as their needs are very different. Please do keep all options open until you get to know your dc.

And I agree it's pointless looking round state schools yet. If you like the private ones and can afford it, then by all means register with a few and look at all the options - state v private, when the time comes. At least then you will have a genuine choice. Presuming finances are still buoyant too! And remember, most people don't get to chose! Good luck with the pregnancy. x

An awful lot will change in state schools over the next 3-4 years, as their education policy is dictated by government budgets & whim. Any state school you visit will also change as the teaching staff and senior management team change. Meanwhile private schools will still be able to determine their own priorities and maintain their facilities at current standards or continue to improve them.

It's fairly pointless looking at state schools so far in advance. Rather than considering which state school to send your child too, which you have little control over in some parts of the country, think about issues such as the impact of paying for private education on your lifestyle, the availability of childcare (if necessary) before & after school and during school holidays and which "extras" such as sports facilities are available outside the school environment.

If you are concerned about losing a registration fee, how will you feel about paying through the nose for everything a private school provides. The registration fee is only the beginning!

At 3 I'd have said one of my DC was obvious Grammar school material as they were clearly bright. It was only when they were at school it became obviously they were highly dyslexic (and I was highly thankful for Comprehensive school systems).

Schools which select at 4 - do make mistakes, and some will even subtly admit that they then manage out those pupils to "more suitable school".

For State schools I would subtly look at the outside, wander past at pick up and drop off, and maybe even visit the School fair. But things can change massively in 4 years.
Most private schools do not just admit on registration order - I would ask questions about why those you are interested in do. And how many spaces they have available later? what about entry at 7+? etc.

You'll definitely know more when they're three! I knew my son needed small class sizes and plenty of time outside, where as my friend's girl is happy in a big class with lots of friends to choose from and she's much happier sitting inside colouring. Your child might have delayed language, be very academically bright, be very sensitive and need hood pastoral care, you'll know all if this by three just look round the private schools put your name down if you like them and if you're still considering state in 3 years look round then.

You'll definitely know more when they're three! I knew my son needed small class sizes and plenty of time outside, where as my friend's girl is happy in a big class with lots of friends to choose from and she's much happier sitting inside colouring. Your child might have delayed language, be very academically bright, be very sensitive and need hood pastoral care, you'll know all if this by three just look round the private schools put your name down if you like them and if you're still considering state in 3 years look round then.

mummytime Most private schools don't admit only on the order of registration order. However, quite a few will only assess the first 70 / 100 / 300 etc on the list - so it is worth getting your name down early for those schools.

Absoutely right 'CruCru'.

Most schools I know though don't open their lists at birth - more at 2 or 3ish. But then most I know can also make room for late applications of the right child (and have in takes at 7+).

Yes. It does depend on the school. In north London, Hereward House will accept applications received before a boy reaches three months, The Hall will only accept applications before a boy reaches his first birthday, Arnold House between a boy's first and second birthday, St Paul's Cathedral will only assess the first 70 on the list (but also have a 7+ intake) and South Hampstead will only accept application received within a two week window in the September two years before a girl would start school (although I think they also have a 7+ and 11+ intake).

I can see the point of waiting for the schools where you're only allowed to register a year or two before starting (and, for some, they won't let you look round until your child reaches a certain age) but if it's one of the schools where you need to register really early, you might as well look round before you have a newborn to look after.

We visited a couple of local schools when our eldest was a baby, including the only one round here that needs early registration (eg if she'd been born in august instead of october we'd have only had a waiting list option). The bursar at that school had quite a good way of putting it - view the registration fee as an insurance option to give ourselves the choice if we wanted it down the track. We didn't take it up at reception, nearly regretted not trying to take it up at year 3 (couldn't afford it though!), and almost went back to sit scholarship entry for year 5 except that a totally unexpected school move ended up being the right one.

Don't regret that registration fee even now, years down the line. Agree that just visiting the independents is all that you need at this early stage probably.

OP said there were two local private schools. Paying say £100 each to keep options open seems like a reasonable deal.

And it's a drop in the ocean compared to the costs of actual private education bills.

I understand why you need to see the private schools now as sometimes getting name down at birth makes the difference. But why visit state schools now?

My son was August born and I started looking when he was eight months old. Turned out we completely missed two nice non selective schools and only narrowly made it onto the waiting list of one which assesses at 3. I was really surprised!

Only see the Independent schools. State schools will resent you for timewasting at this stage.

You will adjust your perception of what you want in terms of schooling when you know your child. I put my DS into a purist Montessori pre-school I thought was amazing at 2.5. It was totally wrong for him and we had all sorts of problems. Then, mainly due to relocation he started at a very laid back country prep at 4 and has absolutely thrived. Never in a million years would have chosen the school for the child I imagined I would have, but it is prefect for the one I actually have.

There are obviously plenty of schools who think they can judge a child's aptitude and personality at a young age. Just read all the 3+/ 4+/ 5+ threads.

"You will 100% know what their personality will be like at 3 years old."

Ha! I just have to say... DD completely changed. At 3yo she was the "Wouldn't say Boo to a Goose" type. At 15yo, she is bolshy & hyper-confident. In no way could I have predicted from 3yo DD what 10yo Dd or 15yo Dd would be like, or how they would be doing at school.

You'll come across as complete balmy.. I'd at least wait to visit any school until I had a newborn!

I didn't think you needed to put your child's name down at birth these days. Surely they go by entrance exam, not when you put the child's name down?

It depends on the school. Not all assess for nursery and pre-prep (actually, OP that's something to watch out for - one school near here does rather play on being first-come-first-served, all the pupils have to pass the end of year 3 exams or they are asked to leave).

Some are first-come-first-served, some assess only the first however-many to register, others assess all who register by the deadline.

There are very few schools which require a birth registration, but there are quite a number where registering (especially for nursery) in the first couple of months is prudent. However, as you'll need to go and see the schools closer to the proposed time of entry, it's worth registering for the possibles (assuming it's just a couple, as it is for OP) so that you have it covered and can visit/decide later.