Torn between two very different independent schools

[novadandypowder]

ok, we've just been to see another school and I need to sound out a few things...

School 1
Takes kids from 3 yrs.
We registered noo at 6 months and it looks like we have a pretty good chance of getting a place, although not guaranteed yet.
Is very pristine, bright, clean with good facilities.
Very into organic, healthy menus and even dictate what kids can bring in as snacks.
I do know one local mum who took her dd out due to a falling out with the head mistress.
Good extra curricular activities.
Full of rich kids of a limited cultural mix with no special needs.
Head mistress like an extra from Dynasty.
Classes of 16-18, two classes per year group.
£3,500 per term, established 70yrs ago.

School 2
Takes kids from 3mths, but I would send noo from 2 yrs.
We would def get a place as it's not full.
Bit rough around the edges, not the newest of facilities, although they are currently expanding the premises.
Standard menu, when we were there the kids were having jam tarts for mid morning snack, although this is not the norm we were told.
My local friend sends her kids there and she loves the place.
Some extra curricular activities, but the school is open 50wks of the year.
Mix of cultures and backgrounds, plus one special needs place in each year group.
Classes of 16, on class per year group.
Kids call all teachers by first name, and the head teacher was really nice.
£2,700 per term, only started 7yrs ago so still quite small, but expanding.

Both schools are walking distance from our house. My inner snob says school 1, but school 2 is much more like my upbringing. I think noo would get a more rounded view of life in school 2, but I'm worried it wouldn't have the same standards as school 1. My worry with school 1 is that she'd be surrounded by lots of Notting Hill rich kids. I'm quite torn as to which would be better for her. DH a bit put off by the slightly shabbier surroundings of school 2, and is worried thats it's only been going for 7 yrs. Any thoughts?

I'd go for school 2

Which school had the best atmosphere?
I could tell as soon as I walked into my eldest child's first school that it was right for him.

I really liked them both. I think because school 2 is closer to my experience as a child (although mine was a state school) I felt more comfortable there. Having money is quite a new thing for me (I married into it) and I'd like my dd to have the best start in life, but I do worry about snobbery.

Should I be concerned that school 2 has only been running for 7 yrs?

I personally would go for school two - the fact it has been running for 7 years wouldn't bother me, afterall everything has to start somewhere!

The headmistress in school 1 doesn't sound ideal and you need to have someone you are very comfortable with and you feel would support your child if you had a problem.

Go with you gut feeling though.

If i'm paying i want a proven track record and good extra curricular activities otherwise i'd send them to the local state school.

If I was paying I would go with school 1. If state, probably school 2. Explain that...!!!

You have to ask what schools they feed and how many scholarships they get to those schools each year and then compare.
I suspect school 1 sounds nicer. Market forces mean the better schools fill places and schools wish spaces can't be much good as no one wants to go there. Open and shut case here. School 1.

School 2. No contest IMO.

I would go for school 2. Mainly because emphasis in diversity is my thing, so... I'm biased

I guess that I'd need more info about the ethos of each - what is the aim of the school? It could be academic success, emotional or spiritual wellbeing, being diverse etc. Like Xenia I'd like to see the track record beyond that school (though possibly for different reasons to Xenia, as I've seen a lot of children have difficulty in making the jump to senior school especially from smaller private schools).

What is the ownership/management structure of each? If they are owned by individuals then you don't really have any complaints process and you are also subject to their whims - if the owner decides to quit you have to find a new school. How do they treat parents? Are you welcomed into the classroom or just limited to parents evenings?

I personally wouldn't be keen on primary kids calling teavhers by first names, but I have boys who need to understand boundaries and I think that formal and respectful address helps that.

Having said all that, I think that your gut instinct will help you assess where you stand and may help you crystallise what is importnat for you. There isn't a single right answer, but instead there is a best option for you and your child.

what age do they go up to?
where are they in league table - do they produce results?
how much of the year is school 1 open for?

I was thinking about this at 2.30 last night, when I was up with the baby (the power of MN!), and I think although I do like diversity etc, and in fact for ds1 chose a school which was much more of a mix than the very white middle class school that is closest to us (that gets fantastic results!), I really wouldn't be keen on the 'calling teachers by their first name', and jam tarts! Ds1's school is amazingly disciplined, the kids are very well behaved, but it's because of an ethos of gentleness led by the head, and they are very much encouraged to be kind to each other, which I have seen if dd has fallen over in the playground, boys and girls rush to help her (she's 3). But it is very traditional in 'respect for teachers' etc - definitely no first names!

So I think it would have to be school 1!

School 1

• more securely established (but does its leavers' list tally with where you might want your child to end up ?)
• socially 2 classes per year group gives more opportunity for friendships
• no.2 taking children from 3 months practically all year round; is it a school or a day nursery ? Is it trying to be all things to all comers in order to get bums on seats ?

Ds is at a school which is closer to your school 1. Like you I was concerned about the lack of diversity - in fact is is quite diverse by nationality, but there is very little social diversity. However interestingly when we looked round the Head said - and I completely agree - that although there are after school clubs, we really should all be encouraging our children to do activities and clubs in the wider community so they mixed with different children and adults and formed different relationships. That is the route we have gone down.

Sorry, wouldn't like the "calling techers by first names" thing. Don't think they should call the teachers "sir" either, but I think there is a happy medium. Interestingly DS's class has a very nice young male teaching assistant and they are allowed to call him "funny names" in the playground, but not in the classroom.

just because they take babies from 3 monhs doesnt mean they are doing it to just fill places. my old school took babies from 3 months right up until 18 yrs and its been going since the early 1900s.