As a fellow dyslexic - I haven't quite read your whole blog - I plan to come back to it and read some more.
Trust me, your daughter will thank you for fighting her corner and working with her.
My dyslexia wasn't acknowledged until I went to university - despite the fact my parents did all they could to get it picked up before hand.
Primary/middle school weren't interested. When it came to high school my parents wanted me to go to a school that was known for being really good with dyslexics. I didn't, I stayed with friends - looking back I probably should have listened!
I only got to uni because my mum worked so hard with me, helped with my reading, helped with my maths (which I really struggled with and still do) but if she wasn't so supportive I would have given up way before getting anywhere close to what I did.
As an aside, have you looked at meres irlen syndrome/ scotopic sensitivity syndrome - that can play a huge part in reading.
I'm babbling now - but well done 