How do you afford to send your Children to Private School ?

[Mojomummy]

DD1 will be 4 in June 2007. We are just about to apply for her schools, entry to state will be at Easter 2008.

We have looked at an 'experimental' school, know throughout the country, with excellent results. Children do regular curriculum, but learn alot outside in the grounds & through practical experience.

We are in the process of moving to get her into the catchment of another more 'results' orientated school, but as the cut off is soon & we are nowhere near to an exchange, we aren't hopeful.

This morning we went to view a private school which just seems to offering so much. 16 to a class, 1 teacher, 1 assistant. Swimming pool, theatre, languages, drama, music etc etc. The downside is the cost of course. £2,200+ a term for reception. Guestimating on about £600 a month for the school year.

Dh is earning a good salary at the moment, as he is contracting, but no guarantee how long this will last.

For anyone in a similar situation, how have you decided which way to go ?

similar here frogs

we (or I) have almost certainly decided against private education for our three and have decided to spend some of that money on a bigger house in the catchment area of an excellent state secondary

we already top up dd1s (very good) state primary with private tuition

having seen dd2s private pre-prep, I would say our local primary is easily as good if not better - we are lucky. HOWEVER...I do covet the extra curricular activities offered by the prep - a lot of them are at lunchtime - oh the utter bliss of not having to ferry three children from horse riding to ballet to swimming etc...

Horses are mucky.

Ballet is better.

Hi Frogs We could not possibly afford three, that's a fact!
Hotandbothered, round where I live, that social profile is, tbh, a myth.
There is one "real" public school a short distance away and I think that big name attracts the wealthy families who are second or third generation public-school.
Our lovely small school is very unglam, does not select academically and has no swimming pool or playing fields. Most of the parents there are teachers, small-business-owners, local government officers or health professionals. A couple of families in ds' class are pretty well-to-do, but the rest of us all drive old bangers and have modest holidays.
We are paying, willingly, for the small class sizes, the escape from the tyranny of SATs, the National Curriculum and the National Literacy and Numeracy strategies, but above all the "Whole School" ethos, which values the input of the caretaker, the cleaners, the Lollipop Lady and the kitchen staff as much as that of the teachers and TAs.
We also wanted a broad-minded, socially conscious Christian ethos. Unusually, I think, we are practising Christians who feel that faith-based education should not be funded by the state. We are lucky to be able to pay for it.

hotandbothered - this isn't our experience of private school at all. There are a few who come from very welathy families, and some who come from families who have made large sacrifices - but most are in the middle. I think the stereotype is just that - something people percieve to be true, but generally isn't at all.

Hotandbothered I think it really is a myth in most schools - though it will obviously be the case in some places. Most independent schools are stocked by common or garden variety kids from fairly ordinary families. Ours has people from all walks of life and varying finanacial situations - from single mums living in flats above shops to families with huge houses and expensive cars.

dd3 shattered our private school dream

must remember to remind her of that when she is older

my experience is that cities often have what I think of as 'middle way' schools - private but not uber posh

in dorset most private schools ARE full of very wealthy children and parents - probably as state schools are generally pretty good

ah yes, marina -- escape from the tyranny of SATs is something that is worth paying for. If we were going private for any one of the children, moving them for Y6 rather than Y7 would be a serious consideration. If your child is brightish and doing well already then Y6 is really just a wasted year. Grr.

I think the affluence level does vary according to area -- I have a friend with a banker husband and children at a smart little prep school in Kensington. Her 5yo ds has repeatedly queried why he can't have his own en suite bathroom, and why he has to share a nanny with his brother and sister rather than them having one each.

Cloudhopper, DH and I went to state school and both ended up with PhD in Chemistry and good jobs. We have academically and financially outperformed contemporaries who went to private school. We are both driven, focussed and intelligent but the most important factor for us was that we had parents who provided us with an environment in which learning was encouraged and supported. Our parents also taught us manners, how to treat and to respect others(they did not expect schools to do this). I'm sure Prince Phillip went to the best schools money could buy but he has no manners or respect for others he deems to be beneath him(remember his slitty eyes comments).

Ultimately, it is your choice but don't fall into the trap like many people do thinking that paying for something means that it is better than what is on offer for free (obviously we pay via our taxes).
Each sector has its good and bad schools. We have looked at both sectors in our area and concluded that our DTS will definitely go to the state schools because they are excellent in terms of developing the whole person (academics, social skills, life skills, languages, range of activities like chess clubs etc). Remember also, life is for living, not just existing..

Thank you! May still be able to work on dh if that is the case!
If we managed private it would be a struggle, although dh is currently looking for a better paid job
I wasn't educated privately and feel the huge class sizes made me feel rather anonymous. It seemed that unless you were either the brightest or the noisiest then it was quite easy to be overlooked. I would love dd to get some more personalised attention than I feel I got. She is thriving in a small private nursery.

Frogs. That is my concern. We live in Surrey and the schools we have contact with so far do seem to be peopled by more affluent families...

Batters, that was dh and I on Saturday...oh look, a large leylandii is inexorably crushing our shed to death. What shall we do now?

I think if I could guarantee a state education like the one I had, I would send them there. But I think that the growing number of discipline problems in state schools, and the sort of bullying, low achieving mentality of a lot of the kids and parents means that they won't get that.

I did outperform contemporaries who went to private schools, but if you looked at the average of what my fellow state schoolers went on to and the average at the private school, it is clear to me that something is working in their favour.

Whether it is intelligence, pushiness of parents, social contacts, expectations or social skills I don't know.

Besides, although dh and I both got excellent jobs, we don't have enough money to buy a house, or have real choices, and I fear that the dds will need every advantage they can get to make their way in life. The main one of which might be marrying a rich husband?

Well there is almost always going to be someone better off than you if you go down the private route - unless you're in the Forbes top 10 or so anyway. That's just a fact of life and you have to get used to it. It doesn't seem to bother the children ime (but we have boys - don't know if girls are different in that respect). But equally there are a lot of older cars and families who have short break holidays in the UK etc. If anything it results in a fairly tight bond amongst parents becuase you know that every parent has chosen that school as their first choice, and value the school.

But agree with Enid - whilst everyone has different reasons for going private, the type of people who do it probably vary according to where you live in the country. For example we don't have many single parents but of those we have it is noticable how many are black (and are moving south from Lambeth to get here). Not sure whether Diane Abbott started a trend or jumped on a bandwagon... I'm worried about leaving my sons in the state system especially for secondary. But the stats for black boys are scarey.

We pay about that in nursery fees. We afford it by living in a small house in one of the less favoured parts of town, rarely going on holiday (although we are given money every year towards a holiday by the IL's so are very fortunate in that respect), driving old cars, not saving much, rarely going out, not spending much on clothes or the house.

We could probably afford to privately educate dd if that's how much it costs, but we won't be. We are struggling with that cost and would like more children at some point so the money will go on Possible Sibling's nursery costs once dd goes to school.

We're not in the south-east and TBH most families at our school are pretty ordinary.

As a kid I did time at a super expensive boarding school (helicopter park on exeat weekends,kids of rock stars,African presidents etc.) and I can't say I thought too much about any wealth differences. Don't know if it would have been different if it had been a day school though.

CheesyFeet makes a good point. We're seeing a number of parents who have been paying out for full-time nursery and are now looking at private schools because they're used to that level of cost anyway.

We also were used to paying out a certain amound each month id childcare for DD - so the jump to private school fees was not such a massive shock. If DD had been in FT nursery, it would have been no difference. I guess if you have more than one child though it would make the difference. One child paying the fees is fine for us, 2 might be more of a struggle, 3 or more impossible,

Cloudhopper, I think you will find that a lot of private school kids (or their parents) use their contacts to get the better jobs - it is certainly noticeable where my DH works in the city.

I totally agree about the standards of behaviour and laissez-faire attitude to learning shown by too many kids these days but that happens in both sectors. Its the price of affluence - too many kids think that they can get what they want without having to break sweat.

With respect to bad behaviour,private schools throw out the trouble makers early so as not to spoil their reputation whereas state schools have to soldier on for longer before they can permanently exclude. That for me, is one of the key differences. The other important difference, is that the academically successful private/state schools tend to be selective so again, comparing a state comp with a selective private or state school is misleading.

There are so many factors to think about aren't there?!

Like Enid and Frogs, we've made the opposite decision - we have a great state primary but we've 'paid' for that in the sense that house prices here are astronomical!

We've spent our money on a much bigger house in a nice area (with the fab state primary on the doorstep) and we have a good disposable income so buying clothes, car, holiday etc isn't an issue. It also means that we can afford to pay for the extras that you might get a private school (ds does French, football, swimming).

In addition, I work for myself so am around to do school runs and to help with homework etc. If we needed tuition, and felt it was appropriate, running up to the 11+ we could afford it.

We have 3 children so we don't feel that the expensive of private primary schooling is worth it. They aren't missing out in any way in terms of extracurricular activities, they have me on hand to help with school work etc.

We are hoping that considering all of the above, ours would pass the 11+ and get into one of the excellent state grammars that we have locally. If not, that's when we'd consider private education.

That is, we'll take that route if and when we really have to but not when there really isn't a need.

We have been battling a bit with this decision for DD, but it's not a straightforward decision for us. I think I have worked out the finances so that if we have to at a push we could send her. But she has dyspraxia and after a lot of thinking and talking to people we have decided she will be better off in the state sector, hopefully throughout but am not sure how she will cope with Upper School.

If she does end up going privately later we will have the problem of DS who we won't be able to send privately as well. I am hoping that if we end up in this scenario then he might get into the local Grammar.

We are in Dorset, the day fees to our local independent school at 13+ are currently £18k a year (there are cheaper ones around thank goodness). The children and parents I have come into contact with from there are extremely wealthy - complete contrast to the people I know in Bristol who send their children privately (the secondary schools are generally pretty bad there), so I feel it does depend very much on where you are.

Thewillowtree, we are in Berkshire & the private school is Crosfields.

I agree with Speedymama about the home environment nuturing learning.

I'm going to arrange to see the 'excellent' school this week. We'll talk to them about our moving plans (chain beneath us is complete) & see what they have to say. The school is heavily oversubscribed though. Still, don't ask, don't get !

Interesting comments here, will get DH to have a read, followed by the calculator

kitty I am in Dorset too

private schools deffo for the v wealthy here