How do you afford to send your Children to Private School ?

[Mojomummy]

DD1 will be 4 in June 2007. We are just about to apply for her schools, entry to state will be at Easter 2008.

We have looked at an 'experimental' school, know throughout the country, with excellent results. Children do regular curriculum, but learn alot outside in the grounds & through practical experience.

We are in the process of moving to get her into the catchment of another more 'results' orientated school, but as the cut off is soon & we are nowhere near to an exchange, we aren't hopeful.

This morning we went to view a private school which just seems to offering so much. 16 to a class, 1 teacher, 1 assistant. Swimming pool, theatre, languages, drama, music etc etc. The downside is the cost of course. £2,200+ a term for reception. Guestimating on about £600 a month for the school year.

Dh is earning a good salary at the moment, as he is contracting, but no guarantee how long this will last.

For anyone in a similar situation, how have you decided which way to go ?

I am having this dilemma. Even though DS is only 10 months old, i'm trying to plan ahead. I have worked out we can afford to send him to private school, but not really any other children we might have aswell... I know friends of mine went to state schools and if you get the right ones, they can be just as good really (better infact than some private schools) and obviously the money saved can be used to extend their education in other areas - music lessons, trips things like that... I guess you really have to weigh everything up, look at each schools results etc. and see if it is worth it. A bright child will go far wherever they are educated pretty much, similarly a... not so academic child will not go much further in private school than state. It doesn't gaurentee academic success.

*Guarantee

We have more or less reached the decision to use the money for extra tuition rather than for a private school as ds has a useless teacher in his present school but dd in the same school has a great teacher. Our initial thought was to move ds to a private school further away but we didn't want to move dd.
We think we will help him more by paying for one-to-one tuition in certain subjects if he needs it (at the moment he is doing well anyway).

Do they still have places for September ? We've gone private but if we move (closer to school and bigger) it will be harder to afford as we have 2 amd you have to believe you could do it longer term for all. Extras (like dance lessons, clubs etc) can add up and atm fees are rising beyond inflation rate. There are often price jumps at year 1, year 3 and year 5 too.

If your dh is earning well now could you put way something on top of the actual fees as a slush fund in case his job goes quieter at any point ?

How do we afford it?

We still have the same car we bought in 1999.

We have had one family holiday - a 4 day trip to Rome - in the past don't know how many years. Altho I have to admit this isn't as bad as it might sound since DH often gets to do work o/seas and we can join him.

We have lots we would like to do to the house but can't.

DH is also a contractor and sometimes it's a bt scary thinking about school fees if work is thin on the ground. We do have a buffer but given needing a term's notice, we are usually confident he'd find a new contract before the notice period is up.

Quootiepie's post makes a lot of sense. We will be lucky and get reduced fees (a perk of the job), but if we didn't, we'd probably save the money and use it for 'top ups'.

Worth considering schools vary dramatically in price. One school I worked in charged ££600-1,000 a term Reception to yr 6, another charged £5,000 - £6,000!

it's a tough one, isn't it ?

We have (sort of) decided that DD1 can start at the 'experimental' school next Easter, by which time we may have moved. Then we need to see if she gets a place at the excellent school. Although may keep her at the experimental school until she would start at juniors (is this 7 or 8 ?). Then will review finances/my job.

Hoping DH & I will have managed to save by then.

The private school has 4 or 5 places left. They have just opened up to co-ed.

I wonder though if private school is a true reflection of life & surving...then think I want the DD's to experience a pleasant a ride as possible & have access to the best oppoortunities we can give them

Different schools fit different children (and vice versa) so you're lucky if you are looking at 3 schools and feel that all 3 would suit her.

In terms of affordability I think that you need to consider where school fees fit if you have a drop in income, because it is an expense that you can proportionaly reduce or turn off. Eg you can either scale down or forego holidays for a few years, but it is generally not in a child's interest to be taken in and out of different schools. So when you are looking at your budget you need to think about how much wriggle room you have in other areas - could you take a mortgage break for a year if necessary? Or scale down holidays etc?

Everyone makes their own decision. The best advice I think is to think about how the school will fit your child, each child is different and what will suit one child won't suit another , even if they are siblings.

Also to think about what it is that each school offers, is it really a good thing for a primary school to be results orientated?
What about friends etc and the other things that you could afford if you weren't paying schoolf ees.

this may sound as if I'm against private, i'm not actually and there's a reasonable probability Ds will go private at 11. I'm lucky however to live near half decent primary schools and my own personal view is that as long as you have an okay state primary, most children are better of going to their local school from 3-8/11.
All those extras private schools offer are focused more on new experiences in primary than on specific subject choices or exam support like in secondary.

With young children I think the key thigns are to keep them happy and invovled in learning and to help them learn good social skills. Often this is better acheived by dint of attending the local school and being part of the local community. Many primary schools welcome parental help so if you are concerend about missing out on theatre, or music why nto offer your time to help the school set these things up?

At 11+ its a bit different in my POV, we're heading towards exams that do make a difference in your life, more formal learning and at least in my neighbourhood the gap between state and private suddenly gets a whole lot bigger. Not only in results but in breadth of curriculum, resources, attitude of children, confidence of pupils, enthuisisasm of teacher etc.

So my long winded answer? find a decent state primary and pay for extra music lessons etc if you think its important. Save up cash (there are savings accounts designed for school fees) and concentrate on learning more about your daughters strengths and personality so you can find the bext possible school for her when she reaches 11.

not sure we'd be able to take a mortgage break, but we could always stay in the house we are in at the mo. In which case our school choice would be the private or other. The schools in our catchment aren't that great hence the move. The house we want also is in a good location & has a big back garden. Ours is quite small at the mo & I want to move because there is a generator in the garden next door which drives me mad in the summer - or when I have my windows open. I feel a bit selfish about my inability to deal with the noise...

I'm don't know for sure the school in the new catchement area will suit her. We'll be looking at that next week. I feel she'd be happy at the private & because I suspect she'll be brainy like her dad, I'm keen for her to develop/round out her learning at the other school.

DH owns his car, I have 1.5 yrs left of an interest free loan on mine. We don't go out very often & although we have had a few holidays a year in the past, they aren't particulary expensive ones. I would say we are quite careful with money.

Oh and ignore anyone who says your child ought to go to state school because its a truer relfection of life!
I went to a crappy state school on the grounds (my parents) that it would teach me to fit in, it didn't! I got horribly bullied and I can honestly say that the only contact i have had as an adult with the types of people who occupied my secondary school has been in the past few months as a supply teacher, once again in a crappy state school!

'street smarts' isn't the type fo EQ skill that gets you good opportunities in life. Confidence and self beleif, the ability to present yourself well, and as old fashioned as it sounds, good manners and charm get you further in the adult world.

riab, the headmaster today spoke of their pupils gaining confidence & being courteous - I was taken by that. This school only goes up to 11/13 though.

I tend to agree ref starting at infant/primary at state, but then am concerned they may not get into private for senior.

The school we have seen is very keen on parental involvement.

I do think that home life & experiences are very important too. I went to private school but didn't have any sort of family home life. DH went to grammer & whilst they did go on hols, he feels he didn't gain any 'social' skills - mainly due to being painfully shy.

How do we afford it?

Dh runs his own business, we had a scary time last year when we made no money but have turned a corner. However as well as us both doing that we both have other jobs.

Our car is very basic, gets us from A to B and will not be replaced until it falls apart.

Our holidays for the last 7 years have been free holidays in my parent's caravan except for the year my mum paid for us all to go abroad to celebrate her 50th birthday.

We all wear cheap clothes from Primark and Asda and dd's uniform comes from the school swop shop.

We live very frugally, our TV is a small one, definately no flat screen HD, plasma thingy. Our DVD player cost £30 from Asda and all our furniture is years old.

16 to a class isn't always an advantage, if there's nobody she clicks with.
I would say save at least a years fees in advance before she starts to get a feel for life without that extra £600 and see if you can live within that budget. It also gives you a cushion and compounded interest.

I'd also go and talk to the head at the school you're trying to move into the catchment area for, maybe include all the solicitors letters to date with your application so the LEA see you're doing everything possible to exchange asap.
Good luck

We can afford it because we only have one child and DH has a good salary, in a stable job. I work PT, earning a reasonably good PT wage, which also helps.

Our fee is similar to that quoted in the OP. That includes dinner, most "in school time" trips, and after school club. Breakfast club, which we don't need, is extra as are spefici activities after school, such as drama, cooking, etc.

We were very luclky to be in the positiion where we were able to chose exactly the right school for DD - the one that felt perfect for her. We looked at several schools in both private and state sector (in catchment for very good primary/secondary and nearby schools also very good). But ultimately chose the one with the right feel.

There are advantages and disadvantages with all schools, in all secotrs.

Mojomummy, which private school are you considering? sounds like one near us ... (but then maybe they all say the same things )

We both work f/t and earn ok, but not fantastic salaries. We only have one child and although on paper we could put more through school it would mean a lot of cutbacks. It's unlikely I'll have more kids for other reasons so it's not something we've given much thought too. I think we have a good but not fantastic standard of living.

I'm also a bit spoilt in that we have turned down my family's offers to pay the fees so if something dire happened (e.g. divorce or I needed to quit work temporarily for my own sanity) there would be no question of it impacting on DD's schooling as we would then take up the offer.

Both work full time. Have only one child. Car very old and will be run till it falls apart. Clothes from Tesco and Primark. Offset mortgage with loads of credit card freebie money offsetting, so paying no interest - capital only. Shop at LIDL. Buy presents when I see a good deal rather than for individuals and then take from the stock as appropriate. Books from discount websites. No magazines, sky/cable tv, or cleaner. PAYG mobile with £20 credit a year..you get the picture!

I am very interested in this thread. At the moment we live in a flat and have a huge mortgage, but to move up to a house would probably double it. This would effectively kill any chances we would have of sending the dds to private school.

I am torn between living in a flat with dds having the option of private school, and living in a house with them at state school.

I am more interested in the confidence and manners that they would get rather than anything academic. Is this a worthwhile trade off?

Ditto to the others really. Ancient car, one holiday per year usually in Devon, staying in a property owned by relatives so cheaper than the norm, house in unfashionable and untrendy suburban dead zone, no new clothes for dh and I other than emergencies, things for dcs bought in sales, house needs redecorating (we remortgaged last summer to do bathroom which had reached epic state of delapidation) we are flying by the seat of our pants really.
But it was our decision and we are happy to live with it .

cloudhopper - I think you have to look at the whole picture and decide what is you main priorities.

For me, I couldn't make some of the big sacrifices others do just to send their children to private school - unless the alternative schools were bad. We don't have to make all these sacrifices - although I guess sticking with one child is one we have taken and others might not like to do (partially decided for me due to nature anyway!).

TBh if your current home is too small or not what you like, then in the long run and for the benefit of your whole family, it might be better to move house and forget private school for now. Simialrly with other changes/sacrifices you may need to make. Maybe think again at secondary age if finacnces and your situation changes.

Do you find your dcs have any problems fitting in with other wealthier chn or is that a myth? The stereotype of private school is mainly families who holiday in the Maldives, Nannies etc. Do you find your dcs go to play at huge houses etc and come home dissatisfied with what they have or are there many less wealthy families?

We've just made the opposite decision to Marina (hi Marina! ).

We're about to move into a bigger (although very dilapidated) house in a nicer area, and have pretty much accepted that that rules out the private school option for us in the short or medium-term in anything other than dire emergency. Paying for all three would in any case put us in a very precarious financial position.

Our reasoning is that the children are happy (dd1 blissful at grammar school, ds in friendly and good-enough primary school, dd2 due to start in Sept) and we figure that we can make up any shortcomings in terms of curriculum or extra-curricular at home, so for us on balance not worth shelling out for the full private package.

Oh, and we have the ancient car, 2nd hand clothes and cheap groceries thing going on anyway, even without paying for private school.

We've been looking into this recently even though ds is just under a year. We are lucky in that there are two very good primary/junior schools near us so we will be sending him there until he is 10 or so. Then we might consider sending him to a private school although the local state school is still meant to be quite good.

If he doesn't go for the whole of senior, I'd definitely pay for him to go there for sixth form because if you think they might end up being professionals, I sadly think it does help having gone to a "recognised" school - ie. private, rather than state... I certainly noticed how much it counted when I first started training as a lawyer. Don't agree with it, but it seems to be a fact of life...