Does independent school leave your child with no time?

[cricketnut77]

My son has been offered a sports scholarship to an independent school which will take around an hour to commute to every day . He is a very good all round sportsman but my concern is that he won't have time for hardly anything outside of school . Will he be shattered ? He is going into year 7 and I'm thinking thinking of leaving it till year 9 so he can still be a kid or is this a big risk? How do other sporty kids at private schools go on and do you ever see them ?

He'll be physically tired but so happy with all the sport. DS is yr7. He played in a school cricket match last Saturday, Tuesday afternoon and has another this Saturday. I'm just off to watch him play in an inter-schools tennis tournament. Don't forget games lessons and lunchtime practices. DS's school day finishes at 4pm & it takes 45mins to get home.

Outside school DS has kept up tennis at least twice a week and he plays for a village cricket team on Sunday mornings. Luckily homework is only supposed to be 30mins per day this year. We have a no screens for games Mon-Wed rule but which allows for online homework & going splat together as a family in front of the TV.

I would move your DS for yr7. Even if you think he would make the teams in a yr9 move I think friendship groups will be strong by then.

OP, in Yr7 yes, there was time for nothing else. The commute, the sports fixtures and the extra homework left them stunned and they couldn't cope with any extra curricular social stuff. that lasted a year. By then they were in the swing of it and their social lives grew back. At that age anyway they tend to have a shift away from loads of outside school activities, as secondaries offer so much add on (drama, orchestra, choir, CCF etc as well as sport, which takes up the time they used to spend at cubs or karate or wherever.

Also, private schools have long holidays. Loads of time to socialise, do holiday projects etc.

Is he very passionate about cricket? It sounds like a great opportunity for him and if he is keen, i would not hold him back until Year 9, when you don't know if the opportunity will still exist. All schools are different so it is a difficult question for anyone else to ask. Homework and weekend fixtures are likely to keep your DS from doing the things he currently does but what he gains from playing more sports at school might be worth it. I personally like having my DD very busy with school sports. She's in Y8 at an independent school. She still plays one sport out of school.

I would worry most about the one hour commute. Is that one hour on the school bus? How will he get home if he is playing an afternoon match and can't get the school bus home?

anyone else to answer not ask

Sleeping it was a pain for us inasmuch as DS sport was football, he was signed to a premiership club. The school thought he should drop all the stuff outside of school to be permantly available to play for the school. He was also exceptional at rugby and cricket, so was required all year round for those sports too at school.

We were in and out of the headmasters office over it all - DS was never going to give up his contract at his club - and we ended up giving tht scholarship back.

IMO, sports scholarships are fantastic for kids where they are very good, but not professional level. To get money off school fees is fantastic, and the child can represent the school to everyones hearts content, without conflict from outside school sports clubs.

I have heard of some peoples experience where the schools have worked with them, but that didn't happen in our case.

That's quite an unfortunate experience Through. DD's school would not prioritise its own team sports/teams over higher ranking positions held outside. The kudos of having kids reach those standards would have a natural PR positive effect for the school, surely?

Well that's what we would have thought ealing! Your DDs school is how I think it should work.

In fact our school wanted him to pull out of his premiership club, play for the school exclusively,and then they would get him trials at pro clubs at 16, preferably 18 . So put him back into a system at a later date that suited them, when he was already in it. It didn't make sense to us.

We wouldn't have gone that route if we had our time again.

Through - that is a shame. We haven't had the same experience so far. Our sport is cricket too and country training / matches take priority (although he has occasionally missed a training session for a rugby match for example). But he regularly misses a few lessons for training. I imagine that the commitments of a premiership club are huge though - so I expect it would interfere a lot more than we have found so far.

OP I imagine that as the school has links with the county it shouldn't be a huge issue.

Ds is in year 8 at a moderately sporty independent school. He plays everything but is not exceptional at anything. So far he represents the school at rugby, hockey, swimming, tennis, athletics and cricket. He also plays an instrument so comes home on the late bus (also roughly hour commute, home around 7.00) generally 4 nights a week. Fortunately he has never needed lots of sleep and the homework burden is not great so he does not get too tired. He has played sport every term time Saturday morning since he started. He does not have time for anything outside school except one Sunday sports club and has had to give up 3 sports clubs, although two of these sports he does at school still. However, those who only do one sport seriously will spend at most 2, often one, doing it at school and have plenty of time to continue with clubs outside school. The school has several exceptional sportsmen who manage to combine school and external sport. The external takes priority if necessary but it is rare for there to be conflict. Round here, all clubs move to Sunday sport from year 7 to allow kids to do school and club sport. Obviously cricket and rugby do not overlap as school sports; rugby winter, cricket summer. None of this had any bearing in our choice of school - the academic and social aspects are far more important and it depends on your alternatives. We expect it all to change next year; a large 13+ intake means he is likely to lose his place on the rugby and possibly cricket teams and we will get our Saturdays back. Yeah!

Through, that's really short sighted of the school. I can see why they'd want that talent on their own teams, but the kudos of having a sports name as an alumnus would outweigh that.

You need to establish the parameters of a scholarship before accepting it. Ask the school what obligations there are, priority of matches etc. We did that and were happy with the reply otherwise we wouldn't have taken the scholarship up just the place. A friend whose son is at a football academy did that and were reassured that the academy came first. We/they wouldn't have blindly accepted the scholarship.

Some schools are happy to have football academy players and all the baggage that goes with it - Whitgift for example, where the sportsman can still gain entry without the academic level that most would require. Then there are the academy day release requirements further down the road - which some schools will put up with, some won't. Cricket is different to football, as there are likely to be much less requirements than the ridiculous amount the football academies require of children - though I have seen even in cricket a 11yo player involved in County training 3-4x a week, but this is not typical.

I don't think that at 11+ the school is thinking about having "the kudos of having a sports name as an alumnus " ! The probability of actually making it as an 11 year old footballer at an academy is incredibly low and getting lower, so the school will not be thinking that far ahead! Many parents do think that however... sadly see that all too often

If the independent has links with the county set up then you would hope the level of cricket at school would be quite high. Is the other school option reasonably well set up for cricket, plenty of practice & matches? Otherwise even with county training a skill gap may open between your DS and others who are just getting the opportunity to just put more hours in. Depends on how keen he is on cricket?

SAHD dad thanks for some good advice also. This is the most difficult decision we have had to make as a family. I am weirdly not that concerned about it from a cricket point of view as I am a coach myself and he gets amazing support from his club. It's the education side of things that's the pull. He doesn't want to go either because of his football team (he's been in tears) about having to leave this and his friends. He hasn't even mentioned the 3 hours extra in school day and travelling time.

Cricketnut are you saying that the independent would be much better academically for him?
Assuming he is in the state system now he may be even more reluctant to leave his school friends in year 9 after having settled into secondary school, unless you are in an area with a middle school system.

I would be very reluctant to move a child who "doesn't want to go" and "been in tears" about it. He may find the extra 3 hours the final straw.
Are you saying your moving him for the academic side or because iyou think its a more all round education?

For what it's worth I think now is the time to do some firm parenting. We adults have the ability to see the long game. He on the other hand only sees the short term implications ie not playing footie. Now, fast forward 10 or 15 years. Might he not at that point say "why on earth did you allow me to pass up that fantastic opportunity for the sake of a kick about with my mates"

Many kids go to a new school at 11 and there are tears and fall outs and all the rest but actually within a month I'd say 99% just get in with it and/or forget what all the fuss was about.

It seems like too good an opportunity to miss and he'll probably settle in better particularly if moving from the state to the prviate sector at 11+ rather than 13+.. Some of our children have done loads of music at private schools and some sport. None has done much above county level although one played for a UK team at the end. It can take a lot of time up. I have always let them take their own decisions on this kind of thing. Some children want to get home from school ASAP so they can sit and think and be alone - that is absolutely fine by me. Others want to take part in every last activity and do a weekend club out of school - fine too.

One of my sons last year gave up an out of school weekend club (sports) - his choice as he just wanted to concentrate on other interests and school teams. This year (he has public exams) he's chosen not to do as much school sport which must annoy the sports dept as he's actually very good indeed but is doing loads of music. You cannot do everything.

I would advise he takes the opportunity of going to the school as soon as possible.