Objective input please! Private or state??

[aparadoxofeducationaloutlook]

Name changed for political objectivity!

DH and I are on opposite sides of this one for our DC (3). Considerations:

• good possibility of DC eventually getting into good secondary.

• primary schools in area very variable in quality and 'good schools' significantly oversubscribed.

• DC has no statements etc. that would prioritise their application.

• financially able to afford private, but tightens finances so that many luxuries will have to be cut back, such as holidays.

• concerns about the general direction of state education due to governmental input

• one of us a teacher in state school

• grandparents likely to offer to contribute to costs of private education

• social concerns about child becoming entitled in private environment.

Other than visiting schools themselves, what do we need to consider when making this rather tricky decision?

All (respectful) opinions gratefully received! Thanks!

Most of my DS's school friends (through out his school life) have been incredibly wealthy, Sunday time rich listers etc, he has learnt that all this money and the accompanying possessions; big houses, cars, boys toys, multiple holiday homes, bespoke interiors does not make you necessarily happy, or protect you from divorce, ill health or premature death, the years he has met some pretty dysfunctional families, being incredibly wealthy was no protection from these things. He cannot comprehend why many
Of course he also "knows" that grinding poverty is bloody shit too.
So many people seem to erroneously assume that being very rich (in terms of pounds shillings and pence) will bring you happiness.

"I don't see the difference between state and the private sector TBH"
I think it very much depends on the "private" school you comparing a state school with. The gulf between the very big names with matching very large fees and even the best state school is absolutely vast.
Parental input cannot offset it I"m afraid.

Private, definitely. Well worth paying for. PIck a very academic selective pre-prep school and make sure that you ask about destinations of leavers either at 7+ 11+ or 13+ depending on what the school goes up to as that is key. Ask how many scholarships to leading private schools people get at 11 or 13+ too and let that inform your choice.

Laura, do we know that the OP's dc is very academic? Or is that just an assumption that a selective academic school is going to be the best fit for all MNers' dcs? Mine couldn't have got into a selective school if his life depended on it.

I personally wouldn't pick a "very academic selective pre prep" lots of outstanding non selective preps have exceedingly good scholarship results. They obviously stream at the right times and put the very bright together into one class and teach them well here for example and these are their schoalrship results or here and here are their scholarship results neither are "very academically selective".

"what both poverty and wealth mean. I think children find it very difficult to imagine a standard of living different to their own"

I hope that angle will include what a pp referred to briefly, which is the global perspective on what poverty and wealth mean.

happygardening - when I said "I don't see the difference between state and the private sector TBH" I meant in terms of the cluelessness of many teenages regarding what options are open to them and how to make good choices. This was in the context of a pp saying that children who hadn't seen poverty first hand were likely to underestimate it's impact and hence make poor choices because 'money doesn't matter'.

meditrina - actually, I pretty much expect DD to figure that out herself. I know I did at a very young age. The slightest bit of awareness of how some people live in the developing world makes it blindingly obvious. But all our lives we're sold the wonders of the UK's welfare state, the NHS, free education. And as an idealistic teenager, I truly believed that we as a country had decided that everyone's basic needs should be met. I think that it's much easier to not realise how expensive simply living is in this country, and how hard people's day-to-day lives can be despite the 'safety net'.

Thank you folks - starting the hunt this week with all your advice in mind!

At secondary level, apart from probably one top private school in the area which is more academically selective, the most academically gifted children go to super-selective/selective state grammars in our area which are better regarded and more sought-after schools than the other private school offerings.